You're overthinking this.

mrsconn23 · August 2020

Dear Prudence,

I am a newly engaged woman. I have been so excited to start to plan our wedding! We’ve set a date, booked the venue, and are working on the guest list. Just about everyone I know has been sending us “best wishes” and asking the inevitable question: “When are you tying the knot?” I’ve found myself spilling the date to various people and in one cringey faux pas told a friend the date and venue, as well as the fact that it’s an evening wedding. While she did ask, she isn’t on the guest list. She’s really more of an acquaintance or friend of a friend. I feel so embarrassed. Granted, the wedding isn’t for another 10 months, and she might forget (plus with COVID-19 I do have an excuse for trimming the guest list), but how do I save face? Do I need to send her an invite? What should my response be going forward when fielding questions from people who just want to congratulate us?

—Anxious Bride-to-Be

charlotte989875 · August 2020

Just telling people about your wedding doesn’t equal an invitation, but if you’re feeling weird about sharing the details just work on saying “we’re getting married in June and still working out the plans”.

People get excited about major life events but that doesn’t mean they expect to be invited just because you told them when the wedding is being held.

levioosa · August 2020

Makes me think of this:

downtondiva · August 2020

When I was engaged, a lot of people at work asked about my wedding. Most of those people were not invited and (I assume) did not expect to be. Especially these days, most people enjoy hearing and talking about happy news. It doesn't mean they're emotionally invested in it or expect to be part of it. Stop worrying about this.

knottie993151e6061f392e · August 2020

I ask people all the time where they are having their wedding and when they are planning for, and I don't expect to get an invitation. It is more to making conversation. I don't think she will expect an invitation.

short+sassy · August 2020

downtondiva said:

When I was engaged, a lot of people at work asked about my wedding. Most of those people were not invited and (I assume) did not expect to be. Especially these days, most people enjoy hearing and talking about happy news. It doesn't mean they're emotionally invested in it or expect to be part of it. Stop worrying about this.

So true! A coworker I shared an office with gave me blow-by-blow details of planning his engagement. Then planning the wedding and the honeymoon. I enjoyed the conversations. It was a nice way to pass the time and I understood why he talked about it a lot, because that was the focus of his personal life at that time. But I wasn't invited to the wedding, nor did I expect to be.

You're overthinking this.

Re: You're overthinking this.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards