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Set up some sort of screen or other barrier to get 'space'?

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

My partner got laid off in the middle of the pandemic and is now home all day, every day. We can’t really go outside (due to wildfire smoke), nor can he apply for jobs on his laptop from a coffeeshop or something (due to the pandemic). I always worked at an office, but my company is having everyone work from home until there’s a vaccine. We live in a studio and are driving each other up the wall. I’m fiercely introverted, and I’m struggling to adjust to working from home while I’m in the same room with him all the time. It hurts our relationship when I’m brusque with him. In the evenings after work, all I want to do is just get some space from him, which he is hurt by. What can we do to make this tenable?

—No Space Left

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Re: Set up some sort of screen or other barrier to get 'space'?

  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    The LW should set up some cube walls in the corner of their studio.  Then they will feel like they're at work, lol.

    That was the joking thought that popped in my head.  But maybe it isn't such a bad idea!  Listening to headphones might help.  Setting up quiet times.

    Hopefully whatever apartment complex they are in has outdoor areas.  Bonus points if they have their own private balcony or patio.  Once the wildfires abate, they should take turns spending time outside just to give the other person at least a pseudo feeling of some alone time.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Ditto ground rules.  

    Right now the worst people to have in the house are our kids.   Most days, DH and I don't talk to each other with our mouths unless we're in the kitchen getting lunch.  Use your words! 
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    You all need some boundaries here. He needs to give you space to work and you need to recognize he needs contact and connection when you’re done. Carve out together time and work time. Be explicit and what is okay and not during work time. 

    But also why can’t he apply for jobs on his laptop at home?
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Why can't the spouse apply for jobs at home on laptop - why does it have to be in a coffee shop? That line just flagged me as odd.

    But agreed with above, with setting up specific area for LW to work
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    charlotte989875 said:
    You all need some boundaries here. He needs to give you space to work and you need to recognize he needs contact and connection when you’re done. Carve out together time and work time. Be explicit and what is okay and not during work time. 

    But also why can’t he apply for jobs on his laptop at home?
    That was a weird sentence and I read it twice.  I decided it is just an awkward sentence that's missing some words to make it more clear.  I think the LW is saying he is looking for jobs on his laptop at their place, but doesn't have the option to go somewhere else that has wifi service, like a coffee shop.
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Ahhh I get it now, @short+sassy.  It wasn’t explained very well. 

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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    short+sassy said:
    charlotte989875 said:
    You all need some boundaries here. He needs to give you space to work and you need to recognize he needs contact and connection when you’re done. Carve out together time and work time. Be explicit and what is okay and not during work time. 

    But also why can’t he apply for jobs on his laptop at home?
    That was a weird sentence and I read it twice.  I decided it is just an awkward sentence that's missing some words to make it more clear.  I think the LW is saying he is looking for jobs on his laptop at their place, but doesn't have the option to go somewhere else that has wifi service, like a coffee shop.
    Well that makes a lot more sense. 
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