Warning long post here but I need some practical advice.My daughter and her long time boyfriend got engaged last year. Prior to COVID they began planning their wedding which was going to be close to all of her (mine and her dad's) family. Over $18,000 of non refundable deposits have been paid towards the venue, Dj, photography etc. with very little left to take care of- the date is in spring of 2021. A month ago, my daughter (she is my only child- I had her later in life) announced to our entire family that they have decided to "cut their losses" and opt for a destination wedding in 2022. Most of the 18k has been paid by me and my husband, her dad and her ailing grandparents. This has been something I've waited for since she was born. I took out a loan from my 401k to pay for her wedding. I am of course fine with pushing out the date due to COVID but what I am not ok with is the complete lack of respect that she has shown by "cutting her losses" and thinking about cancelling everything. It isn't her loss to cut, its mine.
Her dad has tried talking to her, my husband has tried and meanwhile the groom's mother has called me just "overjoyed" with their decision. Of course she is- she hasn't had to spend a single penny!
Yes, I know this is her day and it should be what she wants, and I get that, but I am absolutely heartbroken because if she goes through with her new plan, I won't be able to attend (her new destination is in Europe) and neither will her dad or her grandparents.
I am not a wealthy person, my husband and I both make a nice living, but not enough to afford to cut $18k worth of loss and have nothing to show. I'm also nearing 60 years old, and will not be able to just "cut my losses". A close friend of mine advised to ask my daughter and her fiance to repay me the funds I gave them.
At this time, she is not speaking to me and I have not spent one day without a lot of tears and heartache. Any advise would be much appreciated.