Dear Prudence,
In my small town there is a farmers market with many booths that can be rented out seasonally on a first-come, first-serve basis. My husband’s brother tried to rent a booth last spring but was told there were none left. He found out—I’m not sure how, but he says he has reason to believe this is accurate—there were plenty of available booths, but they were being unofficially held for members of a local clique. My brother-in-law vowed to boycott the farmers market since it was a “popularity contest” and said it felt like high school all over again. I agreed that what happened wasn’t fair but never promised to join his boycott. My family and I enjoy the market. It’s a fun thing to do with the kids, and we like supporting local farmers. This weekend, my brother-in-law and his family came over to visit, and he asked if the pumpkins on our porch were from the market. I said yes without thinking. He got upset and confided in my husband that he felt “betrayed” and that we weren’t “supportive” of him. My husband doesn’t want to get in the middle of this and said I should have lied about the pumpkins. I don’t think lying is a good policy, and besides, our kids were right there and would have blurted out the truth.
My brother-in-law is a good-hearted man with a strong sense of right and wrong and is very vocal about the importance of fairness and standing up for the underdog. He’s also very sensitive and has a history of taking things personally. Our kids are close in age and get along well, and I want to preserve the relationship between our families. How do I smooth this over?
—Farmers Market Feud