Wedding Woes

Frigid Monday

How was everyone’s weekend?  We managed a brief outdoor play date with my sister and her kids, it’s around 20 here so shout out to Lands End and their sub-zero coats.  

Can anyone speak on period undies? Thinx, etc. 
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Re: Frigid Monday

  • It's 7 here this morning but was about 20 most of the weekend.  We got about 4" of fresh snow late Saturday night.  

    Friday night we broke up with our mechanic.  DH's car needed an oil change and the check engine light is on.  It's 16 yrs old but has been a good runner.  He made an appointment to have both dealt with on Friday at 8 AM.  We dropped it off on Thursday about 4:30 PM and they took it right in for the oil change.  Didn't hear from them on Friday so DH called after work to see if it was done or what they had found.  They gave us the run around and, after two phone calls, finally told us they had done the oil change but hadn't had a chance to put it on the scope to see what was causing the check engine light to come on.  Eight hours after the scheduled appointment and you haven't "had a chance" to put it on the machine??  We went and picked it up and he made an appointment at a different shop for this week.  There was no apology or even an explanation of why it wasn't done.  We've gone there for years and they've always called us to say what they found, how much it would be and get the OK to fix.  It was a family shop that was bought by a new owner and he expanded quickly.  Unfortunately the quality of customer service has gone way down. 

    Saturday I did laundry and did some more unpacking.  Sunday was recliner church, cleaning and football.  The Packers just couldn't get it together to beat Tampa Bay.  Ugh.

    The calendar looks like it'll be a nice easy week.  Now I've probably gone and jinxed myself!
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  • I was cold all weekend and couldn't get warm without three blankets and a fire lol. So I cozied up and read or did Italian! Not much else happened! DS2 is thinking about changing careers entirely. He is thinking about the trades (I actually think we should have encouraged that instead of college). Any advice from y'all on what steps should be?
  • I don't want to jinx it, but our winter was so mild down here this year.  I think it only dropped below freezing twice and, both times, it was just for a few hours in the middle of the night.  I also think we're already past the coldest temps for the season.

    I had a good weekend.  My closing went through on Friday without a problem.  Though there was one form they forgot to have me sign.  At first they said I had to go back to their office and do it.  But then they called me back and said I could sign it, scan it, and e-mail it back to them.  Good, because that saves me about an hour of time.

    My H and I celebrated with mango mimosas on Sunday, using a nicer bottle of champagne I bought for the occasion.  Overall, it was a lazy and relaxing weekend.

    I caught up with my mom on the phone and was upset to hear that she STILL has not received a COVID vaccine.  She's over 70 and has major health problems that would directly be affected if she contracts the virus.  She's in Orange County, CA and is eligible.  But booking an appointment is a near impossibility.  She's been extremely cautious this whole time, but still.  Of all the people I worry the most about, it's her, and I'll feel a lot better once she gets vaccinated.  My maternal grandmother is in a nursing home in OH and she got her first shot last week, so at least that was some good news.

    I think I'm going to take a vacation day this Friday.  My workplace is pretty light on holidays and this Friday is about smack dab in the middle of a 6-week "drought".  So I'm going to make my own 3-day weekend, lol.   
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  • Weekend was mixed.

    Saturday my mum, aunt, uncle and I started cleaning up my nana's apt. Donation, trash and take.
    Discovered a deep recessed memory - I have been saying how I wanna get a butterfly tattoo for my nana but it has to be blue. I knew what kind, but couldn't explain it. I discovered that my nana had that butterfly somewhere on her wall {my mum has it now} so apparently my need for this specific one is because of that lol
    My mum got a few sheets for BK's room at her place because she has a single bed.

    It's funny, as we were going thru stuff some of our strongest memories had nothing to do with the stuff
    I stood by my nana's giant windows and remembering when I was little and my parents would pick me up after a sleepover. Since her apt faced the main road, I could see them. I wasn't excited for my parents to come as much as I was excited to answer the buzz call lol
    Or after my bath there, I would run naked through the apartment. And my nana had these MASSIVE bath sheets. I always thought they were big because I was small ... nope. Just actually big lol
    I was sitting in the closet going through her clothes - wishing I was bigger because her stuff was beautiful - and asking my mum if she was going to get bath sheets for BK. Apparently she took a couple of good ones to have. They're great for beach, pool or bath lol

    It wasn't hard, but it was very emotionally draining.
    M made dinner, and I took a bath that night.


    Today we had allergist appt with BK
    Previous scratch test was 10mm, now it's 4mm
    So bad news she's still allergic but good news is dropped by just over half!

    Continued exposure.
    We're trying new hummus.
  • @mrsconn23 Happy Belated Birthday! I'm glad the trip when better than expected.

    My high school boyfriend was pentacostal. They're really something. 
  • @mrsconn23 Happy Belated Birthday! I'm glad the trip when better than expected.

    My high school boyfriend was pentacostal. They're really something. 
    DH was raised Pentecostal and in the last couple years he's really explored how much it messed up his thinking for a long time.  His parent's church (which I attended a few times wayyyy back in our early days) was not near as intense as his grandma's, but I was still like "Woah, WTF is this?!".  I was raised Catholic and that has it's own stuff, but evangelicals take it to a much different place. 
  • I was cold all weekend and couldn't get warm without three blankets and a fire lol. So I cozied up and read or did Italian! Not much else happened! DS2 is thinking about changing careers entirely. He is thinking about the trades (I actually think we should have encouraged that instead of college). Any advice from y'all on what steps should be?
    My H and I had been talking about him getting an education and is certification for HVAC repair.  Work a couple years for a company and then, with some on-the-job experience, he could start his own company.

    I was excited to see our local community college had all the classes needed...so a relatively cheap option since it's a state-run college...but the coursework is a 2-year program.  A lot longer then what we were thinking, so now we are more unsure.

    While my experience with trades and the education needed is very limited, here are some thoughts:

    --Educational cost and the time involved.  As mentioned above, community colleges will sometimes have full programs for a particular trade and that can be a savings compared to a private trade school.

    --Job opportunities/income potential and is it seasonal.  

    --Costs for the profession, either as an employee or running his own business.  For example, in Louisiana, to be a licensed master plumber it costs $20K/year.  And, no, that isn't a typo.  Twenty thousand dollars a year.  Though take that with a little bit of a grain of salt.  That info comes from our plumber...who isn't a licensed master plumber...and he sometimes misunderstands things.

    But my main point is that, especially if a license is involved, there are probably annual costs.  And if he eventually wants to run his own business, then there are REALLY costs involved, including insurance costs.  I could see insurance potentially being a big difference, depending on which kind of trade you are talking about.  For example, a roofing business?  (Shudder).  I don't even want to think about what those kind of insurance costs are!

    --His health and long term plans.  People can make an amazing living in the trades.  But one of the harsh facts is that most trades are very physically demanding.  Over the years, they will break your body down much more and faster than office-type jobs.  If he gets into the trades, I would strongly recommend he keep in mind that it won't be a job he can do forever and to plan accordingly.  I don't know how old he is, but he doesn't want to find himself 20 years from now...still relatively young and far from retirement...but his back is ruined and he's in constant pain.  Except he can't stop working his trade because that's his income and the 20-year career he has built.  
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2021
    in true remodel fashion, my contractor could not get the cabinets done on the weekend.  I’m wfh till he’s done but i’m kinda perturbed because I think he thinks I’m wfh all day but i’m hoping it’s just in the morning and I can make it back to the oftice in the afternoon.  He started at 9 on Saturday and when he said he had to come back I was like “I actually start work at 8 if you want to come earlier?”
    ”no, 9 is good. Because I need to walk my dog and have my coffee”.

    he does this as a side gig whenever he can get the work and drives uber during the work week.  Dude, you scheduled 9-3 on Saturday and couldn’t finish (he doesn’t work Sunday’s).  You’d think you’d walk your dog and drink your coffee at 7 on Monday so you could get a head start on your day?  Plus he was 10 minutes late to boot! 
    Edit words

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2021
    Sorry the weekend was so mixed @MissKittyDanger, sounds like such great fond memories though and you have the towels now!

    @mrsconn23, i love KS.  Sounds like a great gift and good weekend despite all that was going on.

    it was cold here too!  Could NOT warm up!

  • I was cold all weekend and couldn't get warm without three blankets and a fire lol. So I cozied up and read or did Italian! Not much else happened! DS2 is thinking about changing careers entirely. He is thinking about the trades (I actually think we should have encouraged that instead of college). Any advice from y'all on what steps should be?
    Have him sit down and think about what he really wants to do; what excites him, what is he curious about, what he is motivated to keep doing. Trades or not. How does he like to work (independently v collaboratively, with autonomy or being giving specific tasks/instructions, etc., what kind of hours)? What doesn’t he like about his current career? Would that change with a change in employer or is that innate to the career? What else doesn’t he like/ wouldn’t want to do for the rest of his life? 

    After going through that research careers that match his interests/ work style/ preferences. There’s definitely not one route for everyone but making a big career change is a great time to really think about all of these things and see what matches his preferences most. 
  • edited January 2021
    @ILoveBeachMusic idk about in your area but several of the trade unions in my hometown have partnership with the community college and/ or paid apprenticeship programs. The pipefitters, electricians, and steel workers unions all come to mind.


    I am on my period and crampy and just want to eat all the things. I am even having trouble typing this because my mind is preoccupied with a possible trip to the store to get chips and dark beer. If they had those gummi orange slices I would get those too. But they don't.

    Eta: @ei34 I bought some period panties to use post partum after DS. I still use them as they are comfortable and wash well. I hate pads and will just wear these on spotty days or as backup to a tampon on heavy days. 
  • I think before he looks into the trade can he discuss his interests?  Is there an industry that is looking for work in the area? 

    Does your DS have a 4 year degree?  If so, this could balance a trade in some ways if he's looking for growth.  As an example, my FIL worked for a home heating oil company where HVAC trained techs were desperately needed.  Those with the technical training to service oil fired boilers and furnaces were in high demand and in an area of our state where nearly every high school pushes a 4 year college degree over technical training.  They paid a high rate and the job is dirty (literally) but absolutely needed.  

    Someone with the technical training would be a sure thing to be hired.  Someone with the technical training and a four year degree could be management potential.  


  • He does have a 4 year degree in computer programming but has decided that just isn't what he is interested in doing. Quite frankly I think if he were at a different company, he might feel differently, but he hasn't been successful in finding other work. He is a people person and working by himself (at home like most people) has been awful but before the pandemic working alone just wasn't something he liked. I will pass along all of your words of wisdom. Thanks.
     
  • We had a good weekend.  We got lots done around the house and had DDs pictures.  H got up in the attic to run the wiring to the new ceiling boxes.  Next step will be the ceiling fans themselves.  We are waiting on a few things to be delivered though, but we can start the fans without those items. 

    Sunday we started work on cleaning out the dryer vent.  We made a quick decision to install a vent pipe in the wall.  Our dryer vent goes from the mudroom out to the garage before it exits out the side of the garage.  The last time we cleaned it we just shoved the foldable vent through the wall and put spray foam around it.  It was a bitch to remove, so we decided to install the pipe instead.  Now we will just put the foldable vents to connect to the dryer to the wall and then from the wall to the exit.  So going forward, we won't have to worry about replacing the part that goes through the wall.  We have to wait for the spray foam to dry to finish installing the vent, but that should get done later today.  Once we completed as much as we could, we got our remaining outdoor cameras installed.

    We had DDs pictures close to sunset for magic hour.  It was freezing, so I decided against the outfit change.  But DD was great from the start and wasn't shy for the photographer.  Now, we are just waiting for proofs!
  • It’s super cold here (for Southern California). It even snowed in Malibu this weekend! And it snowed on the way to work this morning, which is unprecedented. FSIL A and I might try to brave a hike tonight with all of the layers on as long as it isn’t raining. I walked into way too many problems for a Monday morning at work. I was trying to hold off on Starbucks with Dry January as well, but my manager brought me some which was sweet. Good thing I’m planning on that hike tonight. If I could lose five pounds by my birthday I’d be happy with that. It’s probably not going to happen, but I can dream. I don’t think I could work out much harder or eat much healthier than I already am. 

    Otherwise, SSDD. I’m already ready for the weekend again. Oof. 


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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2021
    @short+sassy have you heard of this? https://www.dexcom.com/en-GB/faq/where-can-i-insert-my-g6-sensor

    I have an appoitment with a new endocrinologist and if it’s covered I will look into it because there’s more than 1 place besides the upper arm.  Maybe this is sturdier? Eta: nevermind, I filled in my info, commercial insurance, and it looks like it won’t be covered.  My libre freestyle was... but we both had the same popping off problem!

  • Also, I can’t find our Night Stalker threads (but I think there’s a few of them), but this made me literally LOL



  • @CharmedPam M watched it. He agrees with the post lol
    Have you {OR ANYONE} watched Don't Fuck With Cats
  • Yea, after getting over the digust in ep 1, it’s really good.  I’m amazed I got through the detail in ep 1

  • @short+sassy have you heard of this? https://www.dexcom.com/en-GB/faq/where-can-i-insert-my-g6-sensor

    I have an appoitment with a new endocrinologist and if it’s covered I will look into it because there’s more than 1 place besides the upper arm.  Maybe this is sturdier? Eta: nevermind, I filled in my info, commercial insurance, and it looks like it won’t be covered.  My libre freestyle was... but we both had the same popping off problem!
    I've looked at it before but, even if the disk insert works better than libre, it's still something like 4x as expensive per month.  At that price, I'm better off sticking with libre, even though it is a crap and dysfunctional product.

    Or, what I'm actually doing, just going back to my normal glucometer.  Which was depressing now that I know there is something so much better and healthier out there.  But not when they purposely make their products so fragile that it involves throwing $40 into the garbage half the time.

    Unfortunately, I have a high deductible medical plan.  We don't have a choice about it, at my work.  So I pay OOP for EVERYTHING.  Nothing gets covered until I've spent $3K OOP, just for myself.  Or $6K total for "family", ie me and my H.  I come pretty close to spending $3K every year.  Which is hard enough because that's a lot of money.  But I never "quite" go over.  Which I know is a really good thing because "going over" would probably mean a medical crisis happened.  It's just frustrating to pay over $230/month (my portion of insurance)  and get almost nothing in return.  PLUS pay another $250/month so I can do "minor" things like continue living.  And the total cost of the medical insurance, including what my employer pays, is something like $1400/month for my H and me.  

    So, let's see (punching numbers in a calculator).  For the 8 years I've worked here, that's over $130K in medical insurance premiums that have been paid.  And all this insurance company has EVER paid on is BC pills, one primary care physician visit per year/per person, and a few vaccines.  Primarily just an annual flu shot.

    And, in the mean time, I've never been able to afford the best or even halfway best ways to take care of my condition.  Even after paying over $20K in that same 8-year time frame.  That's for almost just the minimums.
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  • happy belated birthday @mrsconn23

    any update on the eviction stuff @sshort+sassy"  I hope your mom can get the vaccine soon. My MIL just got it yesterday, she had to wait in line in the Disneyland parking lot for a while in the rain but she did get it which was good. Not sure about FIL I dont think he was there

    My weird thing I'm eating and liking - frozen french toast bites straight from the freezer. I have them for baby B and one day randomly grabbed one and ate it before heating it up. It's weirdly good, more of just cold cake texture not any true frozen/break your teeth type of thing. 



  • @CharmedPam M watched it. He agrees with the post lol
    Have you {OR ANYONE} watched Don't Fuck With Cats
    I don't know what Don't Fuck with Cats is, but the title is great!

    I'm reminded of a funny conversation my H and I were having yesterday.  On Sundays, we usually keep Animal Planet's shows North Woods Law or Lone Star law on.  They are both reality shows about game wardens.

    Warning, sometimes my imagination and fancy wanders into weird places.  I asked my H a curiosity question that, if a person's pack of dogs killed a deer, would they still be able to claim the deer if it was hunting season and they had a license.  My H (laughing), "I don't think someone would want a deer after a pack of dogs got through with it."  Well, that really wasn't my question but, okay.

    So then I ask our dog Izzy, "Izzy, are you going to go get a deer for us?  Get a deer?"  My H laughs again and tells me I am going WAY beyond her skill set there.  That is really what makes it so funny.  She is a little over 20 lbs and gentle as can be.

    I respond with, "What if I asked Maple Bar (our cat)?  I know she is even smaller, but she is more predatory and wily.  If I asked her to get us a deer, I'm picturing her suddenly whipping out a switch blade.  Tossing it back and forth between her two paws.  And then running over to slice the Achilles heels of a deer." 
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  • I heard horrible things about Don’t F*ck with Cats and I didn’t want to watch it. Anything involving animal abuse is an automatic hard no for me. 


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  • kvruns said:
    happy belated birthday @mrsconn23

    any update on the eviction stuff @sshort+sassy"  I hope your mom can get the vaccine soon. My MIL just got it yesterday, she had to wait in line in the Disneyland parking lot for a while in the rain but she did get it which was good. Not sure about FIL I dont think he was there

    My weird thing I'm eating and liking - frozen french toast bites straight from the freezer. I have them for baby B and one day randomly grabbed one and ate it before heating it up. It's weirdly good, more of just cold cake texture not any true frozen/break your teeth type of thing. 
    Oh cool!  I didn't know your IL's were in OC also.  That was something else my mom found annoying was that Disneyland was one of the only places to get the vaccine in OC.  But she said more locations are opening up this week so she is hoping that comes with more opportunities to get a vaccine appointment.

    No, unfortunately no word on that eviction at all or from the tenant.  I'm hoping Orleans parish starts setting eviction court dates on Feb. 1st but, since the CDC extended their eviction moratorium until Feb. 28th, I'm guessing that NOLA is choosing the same spineless path they previously did and still won't set court dates for all evictions related to non-payment of rent.  Even though I'd guess the majority are like my tenant and and don't qualify under the CDC guidelines.  How quickly NOLA forgets there are evictions for non-payment of rent ALL THE TIME, long before the pandemic.

    They're also worried about the "huge wave of evictions" that will bombard their system, once the protections are gone.  Okkkaayyy, idiots.  Then why are you making things exponentially worse by not allowing evictions that don't even fall under the CDC moratorium?  

    -----------------------------------

    I'll be filing a small claims case against her on Feb. 8th, for January and February rents.  Plus all the late fees.  Plus the court fees for both the eviction and small claims cases.  I may not ever get a dime.  That's why I've never bothered suing anyone before.  But the one advantage I have is I know where she works and I also might have who her father has his pension with.  If I can get a garnishment in place for one or both of those sources of income, maybe I can start getting some money.  Or at least scare her to GTFO and go scam someone else.  You can't garnish Social Security checks.  I'm not sure if that's similar for a pension, but I wouldn't think so.

    I just feel a little lost because I don't know much about that whole process, including if it's difficult/impossible to do or not. 

    Even better, despite her ignoring us, we could do one more Hail Mary and lay down exactly how all of this is going to play out if she doesn't leave within the next couple weeks.  An eviction for both her and her father that will be on their record for at least 10 years.  Wage, tax return, and bank garnishments until her dying day or I get every dime that is owed to me.  A judgement against both of them that will torpedo their credit scores/reports for 7 years.  But if they leave by Feb. 7th, I'll hold them harmless for the financial damages that exceed their security deposit and drop the eviction case, so it doesn't appear on their records.   

    Worth a shot (sigh).
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