She has been my best friend for over a decade. She “dated” (not exclusively) a friend of mine that I’ve also been friends with for over a decade, and it didn’t end well at all. I invited him to the wedding and she feels I betrayed her and don’t care about her feelings. She said “I feel like you should care more about my pain than who you want at your wedding when it would hurt me.” Mind you, not everyone who goes to a wedding gets along, but it’s not about them, it’s about celebrating the marriage of two people they love and support.
They are both my friends, I don’t choose sides when my friends fall out and it has nothing to do with me, and she’s calling me selfish for inviting people to my wedding who may be hurt by other peoples attendance. She was completely condescending, rude, and selfish in her responses to me when I was nothing but understanding, respectful, and trying to find a solution. I acknowledge her pain and apologized that my decision hurt her, but I’m not going to choose between two friends. Plus she has a whole new boyfriend for over a year now that she’s in love with and I’m not sure why she will feel “miserable and devastated” on my wedding day because of a drawn out “relationship” that didn’t work out.
I am always putting others first and catering to their feelings, and on the one day it’s supposed to be about me, she’s making it about her. Now I’m trying to figure out where I stand with my best friend/maid of honor (I’m honestly super upset that she’s making it about her instead of being an adult and being there for me), while planning a wedding in the middle of a pandemic and stressed as all hell. I’ve had much advice and reassurance that I’m not in the wrong in this situation, but what can I do about her being my maid of honor? She was supposed to design my save the dates, invitations, and ceremony flyers.. help with planning for my bridal shower/bachelorette, and overall just be there for me and she has completely made it about her and her feelings. I’m trying to figure out how I move forward in terms of my bridal party when my wedding is in less than 5 months away. Should I replace her as my maid of honor? I want to give her a few days to cool off and maybe reconcile, but I’m also over her typical behavior of when she’s hurt, nobody’s side or feelings matter besides hers. I honestly don’t see us reconciling any time soon.