Dear Prudence,
My partner and I oppose drunk driving—we just don’t do it. But my partner has a friend who we often see leaving events where he has clearly had a few but chooses to drive anyway. Every time I see this happen, I step in (I offer a ride at first and then insist—but he always insists he is good.) I don’t think it’s a choice, but a moral obligation. My partner doesn’t back me up in the moment; he knows that his friend will just escalate and drive himself home anyway. I understand that my partner has more to lose in these scenarios than I do (there are complicated politics with people who he works with also being present). I find myself losing respect for my partner and for everyone (the party hosts, the colleagues, the friends) who sees this and lets it go on. Am I overreacting here? I’m in the severe minority, but to me this isn’t a gray area—if you’re having trouble walking, you’re not in a good condition to drive. How should we handle these situations in the future? What can we do when our rides are refused, but we still want to maintain a friendship?
— A Few Too Many