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Your parents are/were at fault. Forgive your 10 year old self.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

When I was 10, my then 16-year-old stepsister Corrine moved in with my family. Her mom kicked her out for breaking curfew. Corrine and my mom clashed; she got my room, while I had to move in with my sister, and I was bitterly jealous of her being our dad’s biological daughter. So, I framed her for stealing and destroying my mom’s heirlooms. When Corrine refused to confess, my parents sent her to live with relatives while everyone calmed down. At the time, I was terrified to tell the truth, lest I be sent away. The guilt over what I did to Corrine has haunted me ever since.

Now we’re grown up. Corrine ran away from the relatives and was homeless for a few years. She now refuses to speak to my parents, who deeply regret sending her away. I know I need to confess to my parents and apologize to Corrine, but I am terrified of how everyone will react. My dad will never forgive himself for failing Corrine, and it would destroy me to lose his love, although I deserve it. I don’t know what to say, because nothing in the world will make what I did okay or fix the hurt I caused.

How should I begin to confess?

— Unforgivable

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Re: Your parents are/were at fault. Forgive your 10 year old self.

  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    It's more than likely that this instance isn't what caused Corrine to do this. 

    You were TEN!  Corrine is likely a victim of multiple things and YOU were the victim of parents who made choices that were based on what they thought was the best when it may not have been.  
      
    Stop the guilt here.  And whether or not I'd come clean would be based on my relationship with my parents and if they acknowledge that Corrine was troubled on her own.  

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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    The adults are the ones who should have been responsible here. LW was 10, they were really really wrong for lying, but they’re not responsible for what their parents did. Come clean if it will help you, but you can’t take on the responsibility of what happened to Corrine. 
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Oh LW, you're still looking at this from the eyes of a 10 year old. Unless both Corrine's mother and father were completely unhinged, there is so much more to her story. It's pretty unlikely that a parent kicks a 16 year out only for breaking curfew. That's probably just the tip of the iceberg, but the SFW version that they could share with your 10 y/o self.

    While the heirlooms may have been the straw that broke the camel's back for your parents, it's pretty unlikely that things would have played out completely differently if you hadn't done that. It was wrong, but you were a kid and kids make mistakes. You didn't ruin Corrine and you aren't the reason your parents didn't (or couldn't) help her. 
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    The parents are at fault for sending her away. What a terrible situation. 
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I think we've all felt this way at some point
    "If I didn't do this, Corrine would have been in a better spot"
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