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Avoid him. You don't have to 'depend' on him.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

We have met our new neighbor, and he has SS and other worrying tattoos. I honestly don’t know how to handle this. Neo-Nazism and white supremacy are anathema, but in this small community we are interdependent. How do I interact with this hairy, scary man and the evil ideology I suspect he espouses? Do I try the Quaker approach and seek the god in him? Is this as big a deal as it seems to me? Help me, please?

— Peace Lover

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Re: Avoid him. You don't have to 'depend' on him.

  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    You don’t depend on him because he’s a Nazi. How is this confusing?
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    What the…He’s a Nazi. You don’t interact with him. You turn him into a social pariah (for you personally at least). He is a persona non grata. You don’t have to feel bad about this and frankly it’s worrying that you do. This hand wringing from what I’m assuming is a white woman is ridiculous. 


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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    flantastic said:
    I am so extremely confused as to how you would be forced to be dependent on him specifically.
    Same.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    flantastic said:
    I am so extremely confused as to how you would be forced to be dependent on him specifically.
    This.  What is it that you are depending on him for? 
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    Sounds like he was the one who just moved in so you don’t have to bring him into the community. Why should others feel unsafe because he’s new?
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    Sounds like he was the one who just moved in so you don’t have to bring him into the community. Why should others feel unsafe because he’s new?
    If I saw someone move in who clearly wore or had tattooed on him visible markings that he identified with hate groups, I would not feel safe.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Is this a commune or something? Why is your small community interdependent? 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    MyNameIsNot said:
    Is this a commune or something? Why is your small community interdependent? 
    I don't know.  As I've started to see some neighborhoods in town I think some are rather close-knit with kids playing, etc.  The LW may have had a poor choice of words but if it's the kind of place where kids play in the street and neighbors know each other I would be at a loss as to how to navigate it too. 
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    If I was forced to interact with him occasionally, like what @banana468 described, I would employ my stoic face and tone.  The face and tone that says without words, "I really dislike you, but I won't cause a scene."  

    But anytime the neighbor made a hateful comment, I would speak up.
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    banana468 said:
    MyNameIsNot said:
    Is this a commune or something? Why is your small community interdependent? 
    I don't know.  As I've started to see some neighborhoods in town I think some are rather close-knit with kids playing, etc.  The LW may have had a poor choice of words but if it's the kind of place where kids play in the street and neighbors know each other I would be at a loss as to how to navigate it too. 
    When my sister moved into her current house, her neighbors/neighborhood started off like this.  They did monthly Bunco and parties and all that crap.   It took about 2 years for dumb shit to start happening, LOL.  Backstabbing, jealousy, fights, husbands getting drunk and stupid.  Fun times.  

    My other sister and I totally thought it was all weird in the beginning and took bets on how long this neighborly harmony would last.  LMAO 
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