Wedding Woes

Box it up, ship it, and let her know you sent it.

Dear Prudence,

16 years ago, my best friend got married. We were all young, the wedding was extravagant, and I was the maid of honor. The bride and groom splurged on an amazing photographer and the pictures turned out beautifully. Unfortunately, their marriage didn’t last, and she is now remarried with two beautiful kids. During their break up, she gave me a bright red box with all of their wedding photos that were too painful to look at. She asked me to keep them safe until her mom could take them or at least until she was done mourning the break up.

Well … it’s been 14 years, and I still have the Damn thing. I’ve asked her repeatedly if she wants them back but she gets upset, and refuses to answer my question. She then ignores me for long durations until I forget, only to be reminded when I see the stupid box. Her mom lives in another country and is a flake, so I don’t want to just mail them to god knows where. But I’ve moved four times in the past 14 years, and I don’t want to be lugging around her wedding album. Someday my kids will be cleaning out my closet and will be the ones disposing of these, or worse, they will think I had some weird attachment to the pictures, and will keep them out of respect. Can I just throw these out and be done with them? It feels wrong but I’m so over it!

— I Don’t Want This Album

Re: Box it up, ship it, and let her know you sent it.

  • Do as the title says.  Let her know you aren't going to continue holding these things, you're sending them to her house and should she want to burn them you'll happily raise a glass.
  • It doesn't seem like y'all are friends, so what are you losing by returning her stuff?  You bring it up and she ignores you for 'long periods of time'?  She'd get one chance to 'ignore' me when trying to return her property and then it would have been returned *years* ago.  You've participated in this drama by letting this go on. 

    Also, what the what about her mom?  Why is that even a thing you brought up?  It's not her mom's responsibility either.  

    You suck LW.  You're not the good friend or martyr you're trying to present. 
  • Don't throw them out. They're not your wedding photos, and while I get that you're tired of holding on to them, it's not up to you what should ultimately happen to them. 

    Instead, stop complaining and tell her once and for all that you are no longer holding on to these photos, you are sending them to her, and she can do whatever she sees fit with them once they're delivered. 
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  • Why gave you kept moving them all this time? At the first move I would have said “where do you want these sent? Let me know by next Friday or I’m throwing the out”. 

    Mail them to her and give her a heads up. If she gets pissed well, what’s different than how she’s acting now?
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