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Classic: Do I tell her I get by with a little help from my friend?

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes
I am a divorced father in my late 40s who has been dating a divorced mother in her early 40s for about two months. We both recently ended marriages of nearly 20 years; dating has taken some getting used to, but things are good. During a recent moment of physical intimacy, she commented on my high level of “stamina.” I ignored her comment. But with all of the prime-time television advertising, it seems the taboo of discussing such things has diminished. Do I tell her that I take the little blue pill to boost my stamina? Would it be deceitful if I did not?
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Re: Classic: Do I tell her I get by with a little help from my friend?

  • banana468banana468 member
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    If you're in this for the long haul what's your plan if she finds it?


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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    edited December 2021
    It’s easy for this to be not awkward now.  But if you spend the next year feeling like you’re lying it won’t be. 
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
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    Tell her. It's better than lying and her finding out later. If she enjoys, um, being with you, I don't think she'll mind that you're getting a little help.
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
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    I’m trying to put myself in her shoes, because I’m early 40’s and was looking at men that age - I wouldn’t care if a blue pill was needed or not.  People change as they get older. But yeah, tell me. 

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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    banana468 said:
    And sometimes women don't want stamina.  They want 4 minutes.
    So true! I was with a guy whose anti anxiety meds made him last like fully 30 minutes every time. Sometimes that is fun but sometimes I just was done. 
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    I'd want to know.  Because it doesn't sound like he has an issue 'getting it up', but more he wants to 'last'.  Not every sexual encounter needs to go on and on. 

    Also (TMI, but whatever), foreplay is what lasts the longest for DH and me and I don't mind that.  By 'go' time, we're primed for the finale.  Getting railed for 30 min straight is not my idea of fun.  If we hit the 10 min mark (after changing positions and more 'priming'), I'm asking if it's 'going to happen'.  DH nor I have any complaints about our sex life, so...
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    mrsconn23 said:
    I'd want to know.  Because it doesn't sound like he has an issue 'getting it up', but more he wants to 'last'.  Not every sexual encounter needs to go on and on. 

    Also (TMI, but whatever), foreplay is what lasts the longest for DH and me and I don't mind that.  By 'go' time, we're primed for the finale.  Getting railed for 30 min straight is not my idea of fun.  If we hit the 10 min mark (after changing positions and more 'priming'), I'm asking if it's 'going to happen'.  DH nor I have any complaints about our sex life, so...
    Co-signed. 
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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    One of my FSIL’s doesn’t think sex counts unless the session is 1-2 hours long. Other FSIL and I were flabbergasted when we found out. And she wants it 5-6 times a week! Literally who has the time for that?! 


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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    levioosa said:
    One of my FSIL’s doesn’t think sex counts unless the session is 1-2 hours long. Other FSIL and I were flabbergasted when we found out. And she wants it 5-6 times a week! Literally who has the time for that?! 
    Hell no. Wtf? That’s excessive. 
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
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    levioosa said:
    One of my FSIL’s doesn’t think sex counts unless the session is 1-2 hours long. Other FSIL and I were flabbergasted when we found out. And she wants it 5-6 times a week! Literally who has the time for that?! 
    If we include the 25 minutes of foreplay, and the hour nap I have after it, then yeah 2 hours is where I’m at too.

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  • kerbohlkerbohl member
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    I love this thread.
    Two hours seems a bit much - I've got other things to do.  They might not be better things but ... other things.  Also, two hours is a long time for the dog to be outside our door wondering what's going on and why she isn't being included.

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  • banana468banana468 member
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    levioosa said:
    One of my FSIL’s doesn’t think sex counts unless the session is 1-2 hours long. Other FSIL and I were flabbergasted when we found out. And she wants it 5-6 times a week! Literally who has the time for that?! 
    Does she....adult??  
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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    banana468 said:
    levioosa said:
    One of my FSIL’s doesn’t think sex counts unless the session is 1-2 hours long. Other FSIL and I were flabbergasted when we found out. And she wants it 5-6 times a week! Literally who has the time for that?! 
    Does she....adult??  
    Mostly. Lol. She’s somehow still working full time and working on her PhD. And she wakes up at 4:30 am everyday. I honestly don’t have a fraction of her stamina. She does subsidize a ton of her life from other people but being fair, she also fits in more to her life than I personally would want on my plate. 


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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    Well, as someone who sleeps with other vaginas....well, i saw a Tiktok that basically was like, sex with 2 vaginas never ends, someone just finally taps out.  Which is true.  Even great longer experiences with penis(es? IDK how to make that plural) has never had the stamina of my sapphic experiences.

    That aside.  IDK why he has to tell her.  If she wants to know, she should just ask and then he can decide if he wants to tell her.  I'm not sure why this has to be offered up.  Honestly, the only time I think medical info needs to be offered up is if there is a possibility of passing your medical issue to someone else.  If she commented b/c it's taking too long, she should've just said that b/c that onus is on her to communicate her preferences in the sexual arena.
    �
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  • ei34ei34 member
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    mrsconn23 said:
    I'd want to know.  Because it doesn't sound like he has an issue 'getting it up', but more he wants to 'last'.  Not every sexual encounter needs to go on and on. 

    Also (TMI, but whatever), foreplay is what lasts the longest for DH and me and I don't mind that.  By 'go' time, we're primed for the finale.  Getting railed for 30 min straight is not my idea of fun.  If we hit the 10 min mark (after changing positions and more 'priming'), I'm asking if it's 'going to happen'.  DH nor I have any complaints about our sex life, so...
    ^this is more than fair as well as relatable

    I adore this whole post.  For me, the most unbelievable moment in SATC, even more than what Carrie was able to afford out of that writing one column per week was when she, Charlotte and Samantha looked at Miranda in shock in the movie when she told them that she didn't always want sex to last for hours.  I briefly felt seen when Miranda said it, then super unseen that her friends were stunned.
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