Dear Prudence,
I think I lucked out with my mother-in-law. She can be a bit exasperating, but she’s independent, sweet, and kind. What I can’t work out why my husband has cut her out of his life. He has never been close to his family, but over the past two years, he has refused to speak to his mother, and I don’t get it. When I’ve asked him to explain, and he just says “she annoys me.”
I want to trust and respect my husband’s decisions about his family. Maybe there’s more going on that he’s not comfortable sharing with me (although I doubt it … my husband is not always very tolerant, and he gets irritated easily. I think she just annoys him.) I try to play Switzerland; I call her for important occasions, but avoid telling her anything about him that he wouldn’t want me sharing. She loves hearing from me, and has got the hint and doesn’t ask me about her son; but of course I can tell she’s hurt by the whole situation.
Am I doing the right thing by trying to be a bridge between them both? Do I need to be more loyal to my husband and reduce contact with her? Or should I do more to try and help mend their rift? More importantly, what does this say about my husband and how he deals with conflict, and how can I get ahead of this in my own relationship with him?
— Miss My MIL