Dear Prudence,
I’m finding myself at a crossroads in my relationship. I am almost 40 and have been with my boyfriend for three years, on the path towards marriage. He is an incredibly sweet, supportive partner who I love to spend time with. But I’m finding myself frustrated at his lack of follow-through in many areas of his life. He has major anxiety issues but won’t put in the work to try and find some ways to help that anxiety, aside from therapy. He’ll have a huge anxiety attack and then promise he’ll do something so next time it’s not so bad, but he never does. He also has been talking about certain projects that he’s never finished over the years and at some point, I get frustrated hearing about the new idea he has that I know he won’t follow through on.
I am extremely motivated and have many things going on at once, and have made a name for myself in my career. I am worried that his lack of motivation and follow through is something I just can’t handle in the long run, which terrifies me because we are a truly great pair in so many other ways. I talk to him about these issues in a gentle manner, trying to not be pushy but supportive, but still there’s been no movement forward in the years we have been together. I also worry that I will fall more into his way of life, and that I’ll slow down myself, which has already happened some but is also partially due to just getting older. What do I do?
— Motivate My Man