Dear Prudence,
I am in my early 20s and living with two roommates. Roommate 1, “Jane” is clean, considerate, and a close friend from college. Roommate 2, “Anne,” was also a close friend from college, but was a terrible roommate—inconsiderate, messy, and generally rough to live with.
Last month, Jane let me know she was moving to a different city for a job switch. I deeply wanted to stay in our house, so I agreed to look for a third roommate with Anne with the intention to tell her that I wanted the situation to be different next year. Then our landlord opted not to renew the lease. Rather than telling Anne I wanted to live somewhere else, I stupidly agreed to live with her in a new apartment, which I did all the work of finding and preparing. I’ve started to be more direct in asking her to clean common areas and not invade my space, but she’s answered this by giving me the silent treatment and has alluded to only living with me because “neither of us have better options.”
This is simply not true. When I mentioned I was thinking about moving in with my partner after our landlord gave us the update, she stared me down flatly and told me that that would “really screw her over.” She isn’t confrontational, but is extremely passive aggressive. I am dreading moving to a two-bedroom with her. I had a potential subletter lined up, but Anne told me she refused to live with her because SHE WAS MESSY. I don’t know my options: Anne and I have overlapping social groups and I am trying to not burn bridges, but I also desperately want out of a situation that I know I created.
— I Want Out