Wedding Woes

WAH Blues

Dear Prudence,

I’m an attorney who works for a private company in a major city. I was hired a year ago, and working for this company was a professional goal of mine since leaving law firm work several years ago.

The company, as I had heard from others, is a dream. They pay significantly more than others in the industry and are friendly and professional with zero toxic work environment issues. The company is also openly progressive/liberal, which is important to me given the current political climate (I live in a more conservative area). Additionally, all my reviews have been phenomenal, and I have received additional bonuses for my work. Obviously, it’s a job with all the annoyance of working that comes with it, but it has genuinely been the best job I have had in my professional career as an attorney—which spans more than a decade.

Sounds amazing! BUT, it’s 100 percent from home, and I am really struggling. I try to get myself to coffee shops and out the door, but I lack motivation. I’ve put on 40 pounds since the pandemic started and half of it in the last year. I find myself socially shutting down. My diet and physical activity have cratered. I would change jobs to an office environment (my prior company would welcome me back with open arms), but the work environment was toxic and I truly think that the professional atmosphere and company dynamic makes this job a bit of a unicorn, especially with the legal industry. My husband and I also need the money that this job brings for financial stability (he works full time in an office).

Do you have any suggestions for finding a better way to handle this at-home lifestyle? I can muster motivation for a week or two and then it slowly fades again. No one expects me to be out and about, so why bother? I’m not sure how much longer I can sit home alone for days on end like this. I feel like I have become my own worst enemy.

— Stuck at Home

Re: WAH Blues

  • Find a co-working space! You’re out of the house and if you’re paying for it there may be more motivation to go than trying to get out to a coffee shop. 

    Also- therapy can help. Figure out why motivation to leave is tough. Brainstorm small steps to take to get out and active more.
  • Find your "thing".  For starters, figure out your diet.  I keep the chips and sweets on the other side of the house and try like heck to not eat them.

    I have a spin bike and a Peloton app.  That app is my motivator and I pick the workouts largely based on the music.  It's what gets me going and I don't care that I'm subjecting my family to my yells of "Push it REAL GOOD," because I'm pouring sweat. 

    You may need a good therapist or coach who pushes you in the right direction.  And by WFH, find the classes that are out of the house in case a workout at home isn't going to work. 
  • Ask your company if you can come in to the office. You may have to hotel or float, but they will probably be willing to work with you if you want to come in.

    For me, it's about the routine. Get up and work out/walk in the morning before going to your home office. Designate your home office/workspace as a place in your home where nothing happens other than work. After work, go for a walk with a podcast or something else that reminds you of that evening commute mental reset. 
  • Although my WFH time was brief, I had the opposite experience.

    I ate healthier foods because I was home anyway and wasn't tempted to go out for lunch.  I could actually COOK during my lunch.  I could even spend time putting the ingredients together for dinner, during lunch.  Then put it in the oven in the afternoon, so it was ready around 6ish.  I had ALL the condiments I wanted if I was making a salad or sandwich for lunch.

    I also had at least an extra 90 minutes to my day, which made it easier for me to exercise.

    To sum it up, I don't especially like to cook and I definitely don't like to exercise.  But both of those things were a lot more tolerable when I had more time in my day.
    As someone who WAH for over a decade and returned to in office 60% of the time, I can definitely attest to having more time to do the things when WAH all the time.  I am too damn tired right now to workout and my desire to cook, which is something I absolutely love to do, has tanked.  I am hoping that as I can get settled into the routine of things that I will find that balance, but right now I am missing my stress-free, WAH schedule a little.  BUT the perks of the promotion (and there have been many...our admin/upper management have been spoiling the shit out of us with free breakfast/lunch and some pretty sweet gifts, plus I can still maintain a decent work/life balance as the company does truly understand working parents and the need for flexibility) and the fact that I am not bored any longer definitely helps. I'm sure there will be days with not much going on, but nothing like my previous position and that is A-OK with me.  I just want to stop being so damn tired, LOL.  
  • Unfortunately I chose a career where WFH is not really an option and I have some life regrets, because damn, does WFH sound like the life. If I’m not with patients now I hole myself up in my office with the door closed for the least amount of continued contact possible lol. Also I am tired of commuting 2 hours a day and putting all of that mileage on the car. 


    image
  • Although my WFH time was brief, I had the opposite experience.

    I ate healthier foods because I was home anyway and wasn't tempted to go out for lunch.  I could actually COOK during my lunch.  I could even spend time putting the ingredients together for dinner, during lunch.  Then put it in the oven in the afternoon, so it was ready around 6ish.  I had ALL the condiments I wanted if I was making a salad or sandwich for lunch.

    I also had at least an extra 90 minutes to my day, which made it easier for me to exercise.

    To sum it up, I don't especially like to cook and I definitely don't like to exercise.  But both of those things were a lot more tolerable when I had more time in my day.
    This! Since being WFH full time, I've gotten so much better about cooking healthier meals and replacing commute time with exercise, and lost a lot of weight/got in great shape in the process. 

    But I get that everyone is different. Some people see it as more isolation and sink into depression, which means losing motivation. 
  • Although my WFH time was brief, I had the opposite experience.

    I ate healthier foods because I was home anyway and wasn't tempted to go out for lunch.  I could actually COOK during my lunch.  I could even spend time putting the ingredients together for dinner, during lunch.  Then put it in the oven in the afternoon, so it was ready around 6ish.  I had ALL the condiments I wanted if I was making a salad or sandwich for lunch.

    I also had at least an extra 90 minutes to my day, which made it easier for me to exercise.

    To sum it up, I don't especially like to cook and I definitely don't like to exercise.  But both of those things were a lot more tolerable when I had more time in my day.
    This! Since being WFH full time, I've gotten so much better about cooking healthier meals and replacing commute time with exercise, and lost a lot of weight/got in great shape in the process. 

    But I get that everyone is different. Some people see it as more isolation and sink into depression, which means losing motivation. 
    For sure!  I wasn't trying to take away from the LW's experience, because I know it doesn't work for everyone.  I was just wishing she and I could switch places, lol.

    Because I work for an essential business, even when we were allowed to WFH, people could come work in the office if they wanted to.  I had a few coworkers that did, because they preferred it.

    Specifically, a lot of the civil engineers.  We also have mechanical, electrical, and instrumentation engineers, so it wasn't just engineers in general.  I've always been curious about that, lol.  What's different about civil engineers that they didn't like WFH (shrug).  They're kinda the least social peeps too, though that's making a big generalization.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards