Dear Prudence,
My mom is estranged from her mom and five younger siblings. We rarely saw them when I was growing up, even though they live just across town. My mom implied my grandmother hated her because she resembled my grandfather so much (my grandparents separated a long time ago). I assumed my aunts and uncles avoided my mother due to their loyalty to my grandmother.
My mom never said much about her family, except that her mother was very mean-spirited, and I was always curious about them. I sometimes Google my aunts and uncles. Imagine my surprise this past summer when I found what I believed to be my grandmother on a funeral home website. I immediately called the funeral home and gave the operator the names of my aunts and uncles to verify next-of-kin, which they were.
My grandmother passed away almost two years ago, and none of my aunts and uncles called my mom to let her know. She was 92. They have been estranged for over 40 years, and I don’t think they’ve seen each other in over 10 years. Should I tell my mom that my grandmother is no longer here?
—Opened the Google Pandora’s Box