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Is she your best friend or former flame for whom you pine?

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence, 

I don’t want my best friend to get married. “Christine” and I have been close since we were 8. Now we are in our early 30s. Christine and I have dated other people for a long time, and we both love our partners very much. She is getting married next month and I want to be excited for her (I pretend to be so excited!). Actually, I feel heartbroken. I feel like I am losing my best friend and like no one will know her better than I do. How do I move past feeling like my heart is broken because my best friend is getting married? Does it say something bad about my relationship with my own partner that I feel this way? Please help!

—Lovesick in Louisville

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Re: Is she your best friend or former flame for whom you pine?

  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I think you need to look at this and figure out if this is unrequited love or if you really feel like you've somehow had the role of "i know her best" for over 20 years and now someone else will be taking over a role that you really never had in the first place.
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    I think the LW needs some therapy sessions to help process these feelings.

    Also try to change her POV on it.  Like focusing more on the new phases in their life they are starting on and how this will enrich their own lives and their friendship even more.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    I'm searching for a quip about how creme brulee can never be jello, but my covid brain just won't work. 

    Anyway, leave her alone. You're being selfish here. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    MyNameIsNot said:
    I'm searching for a quip about how creme brulee can never be jello, but my covid brain just won't work. 

    Anyway, leave her alone. You're being selfish here. 
    Meh - her brain that day had sunglasses on her head and into her sweater. 


    The LW is striking me as someone who will make an awful MIL one day when a child goes to get married. 
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  • kerbohlkerbohl member
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    How would LW feel is she knew this friend felt the same way when LW got married?  Is this a "I can get married and you can't" situation?  Weirdly possessive.

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  • banana468banana468 member
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    kerbohl said:
    How would LW feel is she knew this friend felt the same way when LW got married?  Is this a "I can get married and you can't" situation?  Weirdly possessive.
    Yup.  LW strikes me as someone who is ill-equipped to deal with change they do not initiate. 
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