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Thursday Nerves

VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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I sooooo adore my overthinking personality!!!  I'm worrying about the interview now.  He had asked for a reference from my former law firm.  I gave him a name.  After the interview was over, I called my former law firm to give that boss a headsup.  The receptionist (still same woman) laughed and said, Interviewer is on hold to talk to {Former Boss}, do you want to talk to him first?"  I said no, b/c I know this particular former boss had offered to write me a reference letter when I was fired from the firm.  I didn't even think to tell the interviewer I had been fired from there.  The conversation had gone so well and wasn't super formal/structured so the question of why I left that firm never came up.  The other thing is that, even if it did come up in convo with Interviewer and Former Boss, Former Boss knows why I was fired (old timers will remember Diva) and him and Interviewer would probably be all, "You know how Diva is (b/c the entire legal world here does)."  I called former boss this morning, but he's in trial all day.  Ugh.  Now I'm a nervous wreck.  I already sent my thank you email, so following up with the Interviewer now feels awkward and defensive?  IDK, talk me up/down, please.

Went out for drinks with friends last night.  I only had 2 and I can feel both of them in my skin and mouth.  Blech.  And I'm sleepy b/c now alcohol interferes with my sleep on top of going to bed at 10:30....which is late for me now!!  Today is an SSDD, except for waiting on pins and needles for my offer/rejection.
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Re: Thursday Nerves

  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    All the good vibes! As someone who has hired (& applied to) a lot of roles if someone offers to write you a reference they’re not going to say bad things!
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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    @VarunaTT  In my experience people won’t offer to write reference letters for individuals they don’t care to help, especially after a firing. Try to focus on the positives, your former boss knows your work ethic, he knows Diva is, well, a diva, and the firing most likely won’t even come up because usually when people offer a reference, it’s for someone they know will boost them up, which it sounds like former boss will do. Try not to spiral. I don’t think I would follow up with interview today since everything just happened yesterday, but you have a lot of positive signs! Deep breaths and try to distract yourself if possible. 

    The longest week. I had a patient’s SO call and yell at me late yesterday afternoon for things the patient did not bring up in the exam, and then they gaslighted me and made me feel like I hadn’t ruled out something I had, and it was in the middle of a busy schedule so I couldn’t reassure myself and look it up. Our asshole cat woke me up at 5 and I couldn’t go back to sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about it so I checked, and yup, I did what I was supposed to do. Just annoying it cost me almost 2 hours of sleep. 

    Otherwise SSDD. I feel like I’m never going to be well again. I’m over this cough and congestion. I sound like I’m dying although I’m like 75% back to normal. 


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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    I feel you on the overthinking, but I would think lawyers of all people will be careful in how they choose their words, especially when it's something like a reference.  I understand what it's like to want something, but not want it too much in case it doesn't work out.   I think it all sounds good, but I'm still crossing all crossables for you.  :) 

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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    I think it's a good sign that he called your reference so soon after. And honestly, it sounds like it will be a great reference and the reasons of you leaving won't matter. Good luck! All my fingers are crossed for you! 

    So we've decided to tile the kitchen AND the laundry room that's right off the kitchen. We're going to pick out tile from HD tonight and I'm super excited! Anything to take my mind off work, honestly. 
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    @VarunaTT I've had 2 jobs opt to give me a chance because - 1st place I didn't get a very good review from former job, 2nd place {current} liked my follow up.
    So I have faith it'll go well :) fx still for you
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    I think one of my coworkers has a stress migraine :( She has a massive exam next week {for those in legal field/knowledge - think of it as the bar exam}
    I hope she's okay.

    Yesterday I had to leave early to pick up BK because M went to get his tires done and - everyone and everything is fine - but our Jeep fell off the hoist!
    No damage but close. Luckily no one was underneath either.

    M & I were joking this is clearly a full moon week because of how much has gone sideways.

    After a month of no accidents, BK had 2 accidents back to back. So before bed we're back to asking 80 million times if she has to pee.
    This morning was accident free and she used her room potty {she won't use the bathroom at night alone and she often doesn't wake up in the middle of the night}
    I told M if it continued, we were going to start waking her middle of the night to pee but I think we've avoided that for now.

    I'll post later but BK drew a picture of her and M on their daily walk and it's the fkn cutest thing ever <3
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  • missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
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    Congratulations Varuna!!
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  • CasadenaCasadena member
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    @VarunaTT that's amazing!!!! Congratulations!
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  • CasadenaCasadena member
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    Boys were home sick on Tuesday and I caught something too.  Was basically puking, etc from Tuesday afternoon through last night.  I slept all day yesterday.  Seem to be ok now although my stomach is a little touchy still, so i'm not pushing it. I needed the sleep though for sure. I haven't had that much consecutive sleep in 3 years. 
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  That's awesome @VarunaTT!!  


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  • ei34ei34 member
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    Congrats @VarunaTT that's incredible news! 
    Healing vibes to all those unwell

    SSDD here and no complaints about it.
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    Yay @VarunaTT!!!!!!!!
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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    Congrats @VarunaTT!!! 


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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    Yay! Congrats @VarunaTT!
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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  • MNNEBrideMNNEBride member
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    Congratulations @VarunaTT!!!!!  What a great move for you!
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    VarunaTT said:
    @short+sassy All of the bosses are freaking out, inside, silently, and one of them not so silently.  But everyone understands why I'm going.  It's not just that I'm good at my job (which I am), it's that...

    Also, this is going to end up being a massive raise.  I had given X as a figure, they gave me $.50 less, but I'm fine with it, it's still a raise.  But! they pay for my health insurance!!  That's basically another $200 in my budget I'm not used to having!  I'm kind of over the moon.

    ETA:  I just trailed off in the middle there.  It's that this management has become notorious for letting cases sit for 6 months with no newly assigned paralegal on it, when the previous one leaves.  i'm also not entirely sure that this place won't be walking me out tomorrow; I can totally see them doing that.  Another co-worker and I were talking about it and we've put some plans in place with her, to try and salvage any situation that occurs.

    Basically, I got into a HUGE argument with my manager before this interview yesterday, tomorrow would be the end of a pay period, and the owner has decided I'm demon spawn, so they're not going to be countering (not that they can offer anything to get me to stay) and I think they'd rather have me out of their hair.
    No reflection on you at all, but I think that's often a smart thing for companies to do.  Especially in an industry like law, because employees have access to all kinds of sensitive information.

    My "leaving jobs" have usually been lay offs and the day I found out was my last day.  But, usually by the time I walked back to my desk, I'd already been locked out of the computer system.  Though there was one lay-off I'd had where they gave me two-weeks notice of my last day and was still expected to work those two weeks.  But then they didn't give me any severance pay, whereas the other companies did.

    My funniest, but also worst, 2-week notice was when I worked for a major gas station/convenience store.  My manager T wasn't just one of the worst bosses I ever had, he was also one of the worst persons I have ever met.  Hair trigger temper.  Emotionally abusive.  He wasn't why I left, but it was a cherry on top to not have to work with him anymore.

    I started my shift telling him I was giving him my two-week notice, while handing him my letter.  He crumbled it into a ball and threw it on the floor.  Told me something like I couldn't quit because I was fired.  I surreptitiously picked the note back up and put it in my purse.  Then filed for unemployment the next day.  It was so delicious that him being such an angry AH was what got me a few weeks of UE, before I found my next job.  
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    edited November 2022
    I can see your point, but realistically it's a massive disservice to the client and the lawyer when a paralegal leaves unexpectedly.  We have a lot of information and knowledge we carry in our head about things.  I'm making a memo for each case I have left to be put into the file, along with my monthly reviews that already sit in the files.  If I was being fired, sure, but there's no reason for my current employer to actually no trust me.  I have access to sensitive information 24/7...if I was going to steal it, I wouldn't have sat around for 7 years waiting to do it. 

    The management is just a bunch of assholes here, with little care for continuity of care of cases.
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    VarunaTT said:
    I can see your point, but realistically it's a massive disservice to the client and the lawyer when a paralegal leaves unexpectedly.  We have a lot of information and knowledge we carry in our head about things.  I'm making a memo for each case I have left to be put into the file, along with my monthly reviews that already sit in the files.  If I was being fired, sure, but there's no reason for my current employer to actually no trust me.  I have access to sensitive information 24/7...if I was going to steal it, I wouldn't have sat around for 7 years waiting to do it. 

    The management is just a bunch of assholes here, with little care for continuity of care of cases.
    That makes sense also.  The "smallest" company that laid me off had over 200 employees.  Those were corporate policies I didn't take personally.  Plus they were the ones laying me off, as opposed to my putting in a resignation.

    I know where I currently work that, when someone puts in a 2-week notice, they are not asked to leave.  They do work the two weeks.  Some layoffs have worked that way also.  They'll tell people when their last day will be, but it's 1-3 weeks in the future.  People who work directly for the company also get severance pay.  But we also have long-term people that are here through an employment agency and they don't get severance pay, just the notice of when their last day will be.

    A project manager I used to support had worked here FOREVER.  Over 30 years.  He has since retired.  I always assumed he worked directly for the client.  But about two years after we had been working together, I made an offhand comment about the holidays he got because he worked for the client vs. the ones we got.  He corrected me and said he worked for XYZ Employment Agency.  That particular agency does cater to the engineering industry, but I was totally shocked because I didn't think arrangements like that usually went on for so long.
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    It’s interesting- in some roles we will terminate someone when they give their notice (especially in the retail space), others we will let resign but their 2 weeks notice is PTO and they’re locked out of the systems. These are all generally roles with competitively sensitive information (pricing, strategy, etc). In my role we use the two weeks as transition & documentation time to wrap anything and document and pass off to others. 
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    charlotte989875 said:
    It’s interesting- in some roles we will terminate someone when they give their notice (especially in the retail space), others we will let resign but their 2 weeks notice is PTO and they’re locked out of the systems. These are all generally roles with competitively sensitive information (pricing, strategy, etc). In my role we use the two weeks as transition & documentation time to wrap anything and document and pass off to others. 
    Most firms I've worked for have a plan like this.  Usually, they'll have someone hired to fill the role and you train them your last week to few days, so that you are both introducing them to individual and team processes.

    This place's plan seems to be, "We'll get to that at some point".  Which is part of the entire problem I'm having fitting in anymore.  
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    Congrats @VarunaTT! I'm so excited for you! When will your first day be in the new firm?

    The same day layoff thing freaks me out so much. I was laid off like that once years ago and it really shook me. There's a lot of things I don't love about working for a giant corporation, but one thing I do like is the 60-90 days is notice when laying people off. At least you have a fighting chance of lining up a new job before you're unemployed. 
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    @VarunaTT congratulations I’m so happy for you!
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    MyNameIsNot said:
    Congrats @VarunaTT! I'm so excited for you! When will your first day be in the new firm?

    The same day layoff thing freaks me out so much. I was laid off like that once years ago and it really shook me. There's a lot of things I don't love about working for a giant corporation, but one thing I do like is the 60-90 days is notice when laying people off. At least you have a fighting chance of lining up a new job before you're unemployed. 
    I hate it when there's no notice but after working for a smaller company that was the norm.  Layoffs were done and employees were generally let go the same day.  The worst was when the company closed and they were told on the 19th of December that 12/24 the company was done.  It was unfortunately forced by a bank but the timing was awful.
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    banana468 said:
    MyNameIsNot said:
    Congrats @VarunaTT! I'm so excited for you! When will your first day be in the new firm?

    The same day layoff thing freaks me out so much. I was laid off like that once years ago and it really shook me. There's a lot of things I don't love about working for a giant corporation, but one thing I do like is the 60-90 days is notice when laying people off. At least you have a fighting chance of lining up a new job before you're unemployed. 
    I hate it when there's no notice but after working for a smaller company that was the norm.  Layoffs were done and employees were generally let go the same day.  The worst was when the company closed and they were told on the 19th of December that 12/24 the company was done.  It was unfortunately forced by a bank but the timing was awful.
    I've been laid off many times and have never gotten more than 2-3 weeks notice and/or severance pay.  It's just in the nature of most of the jobs I've had, where it's the customer who is billed for my hours.  If the customer leaves or the project ends...layoffs. 

    Sometimes you know it's (probably) coming at some point.  When I was in defense contracting, I jumped ship to another defense contractor because our projects were coming to an end.  Only to get laid off from that company about 7 months later!  Argh!

    In fact, also the job I have right now, lol.  About 5 years ago, things were looking grim.  For about a year I was worried on a daily basis that I was going to be laid off.  I was keeping my eye out, but admittedly wasn't looking that hard and there wasn't much out there anyway.  I knew I could coast for a little while and I just kept hoping I'd make it through the downturn.  There were a number of people who got laid off, but I survived. My job has been pretty solid and secure since then.   
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