Dear Prudence,
My almost four-year marriage is in dire straits due to my wife’s obsession with her teen daughter from a previous relationship. I say “her” daughter because my wife doesn’t want me to have anything to do with her parenting or time with her daughter. The daughter is my wife’s priority and doesn’t think the marriage should take precedence over her relationship with her daughter. The daughter no longer likes me and tries to always be with my wife so I can have no time with her. My wife seems to relish in this. If I come into a room they are in, they stop their talking and laughing together until I leave, and then it resumes. If I confront my wife about it, she says it’s all in my head, and I really should let it go. When I come into her home, my wife refuses to even greet or acknowledge me. I say “her” home because she completely left me out of the recent homebuying process. It was her and the daughter’s involvement. Most of my stuff is in storage because I am not allowed to fill the house with any of it yet the daughter can. No pictures of us or our wedding are allowed, yet pictures of the daughter are all around the house. My wife’s office is a shrine to her daughter. There is no affection or intimacies anymore. She yells at me if she even converses with me. She comes to bed late and says nothing and falls asleep. Lately I’ve given up and just slept on the couch. She told me the other day that I need to change to be someone she deserves. The problem is, I don’t know what that means or why she’s saying it as I’m still the same person I was when we married. I’m at my wits’ end and don’t know where to go from here.
— Lost, Alone, and Frustrated