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I'd lose my patience with this, like yesterday.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence, 

I am happily married and have been with my wife for almost five years. We have a great relationship and tell each other everything—to a fault on my part, so it seems. I mentioned to her that many years ago, I dated a woman in a different country. She is triggered any time that this country comes up in the news, accents in movies, etc. I do not think about this relationship at all but she seems disgusted with me whenever the slightest related thing reminds her of this long passed relationship. Do you have any advice on how I can help ease her frustration and discomfort? This past relationship is just that, in my past, though it seems that my wife is forever pained by it.

—Hoping She Can Move Past


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Re: I'd lose my patience with this, like yesterday.

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    What country is it? Is it Canada? It’s Canada, isn’t it? They’re always getting in the way of other people’s relationships 

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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I am not a jealous person whatsoever so this is so far out of my realm I'd be looking at them like they had three heads. Like omg, people date. Last summer when we were in Yosemite H started talking about that time we came in the winter and it snowed. I was like lol homeboy, I don't know who you're talking about but it's not me. And then the rest of the trip I teased him about what other memories he might have there about OTHER WOMEN. lol. But I didn't give a shit in the slightest. People have lives before you meet the person you end up with. Who cares. 


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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I have a living reminder of DH's ex-wife.  So this is utterly bananas to me. 

    This is like, 'You need therapy or this might be a deal-breaker' level of ridiculousness, IMO. 

    How did y'all even make it to marriage if it's been over 5 years of her being 'triggered' like this? 
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  • CasadenaCasadena member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Is this woman racist beyond belief? I cannot imagine anyone feeling this strongly about this if not. 
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Casadena said:
    Is this woman racist beyond belief? I cannot imagine anyone feeling this strongly about this if not. 
    I was going to say that dating a Russian woman doesn't mean you condone Putin, but I think you're on to something here. 
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Casadena said:
    Is this woman racist beyond belief? I cannot imagine anyone feeling this strongly about this if not. 
    This was also my first thought. 
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