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Wedding Woes

OMG, you're married to my FIL.

Dear Prudence,

My husband is a great storyteller and can recount the most ordinary day in a way that’s compelling and hilarious. He’s a bit of an exaggerator, but I’ve always felt his stretches don’t do any harm. But for about the past year, I’ve noticed that he’ll often share some information in a way that’s really dramatic and dire, only to backtrack once he’s gotten a reaction. For example, he recently told me and our family that he was probably going to need knee surgery soon. After some questions, it came out that his doctor had told him to go to physical therapy and do more strength training, and said, “This is the kind of thing that leads to a knee replacement in your 70s if you don’t attend to it now.” Earlier this week, he interrupted me at work to tell me a close friend had been diagnosed with cancer—again, after questions, it turned out the friend had a suspicious mole that was going to be biopsied. These conversations leave me feeling panicked and scared, and we’re at an age where I feel like they’re going to be more and more common. But he doesn’t see the harm in it—from his perspective, the doctor did say the words “knee replacement” so his telling was accurate. Do I just need to tune him out?

—Stretching the Truth Too Far

Re: OMG, you're married to my FIL.

  • BIL C exaggerates eeevvverythinggggg. To the point where it's a running joke in the family. According to him he's "only slept two hours a week for the last twenty years" and he had to "go get a special procedure done because he's going deaf." Everyone was freaked about the last one (not me so much, because of his history), and when I asked H about it more specifically, I figured out easily that BIL was talking about needing a friggen ear lavage. Which was both annoying and funny simultaneously. I think the way to cut down on it is also to stop giving him the reactions he's clearly craving. You're not going to necessarily change him, but you can handle how you react to it. 


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  • I only exaggerate how 'serious' something is if I'm trying to get out of something (usually work), LOL. 

    My FIL swears everyone is about to 'croak' and then I'm expecting a death announcement imminently.   There's about 6 people who've been on their deathbeds and they are still kicking it with us.  Ha.  
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited August 2024
    I agree the LW needs to stop having a dramatic reaction to his stories.  Maybe even start throwing in some humor of her own.  Like, "Is your impending heart attack going to be sometime in the next 6 months?  Or 30 years from now if you don't improve your diet?"

    I dated a guy (J) in college who was like this, especially in telling stories from his past.  After we broke up, one of his friends jokingly asked me, "How much of J's stories are true?"

    Hopefully J is still alive considering how many times he almost died before he was 25 /s.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I agree the LW needs to stop having a dramatic reaction to his stories.  
    THIS!  LW seems like a wet rag.  This seems to be a personality quirk in the H rather than some pathological issue of lying.  If you've been with the man for more than a few years, then why have you decided to now make this an ordeal? 

    I've trained myself to not 'panic' by saying the word "OK" when someone is sharing information that will heighten my anxiety levels.  It buys me time and also centers me.  Taking a beat and not reacting can be learned.  
  • mrsconn23 said:
    I agree the LW needs to stop having a dramatic reaction to his stories.  
    THIS!  LW seems like a wet rag.  This seems to be a personality quirk in the H rather than some pathological issue of lying.  If you've been with the man for more than a few years, then why have you decided to now make this an ordeal? 

    I've trained myself to not 'panic' by saying the word "OK" when someone is sharing information that will heighten my anxiety levels.  It buys me time and also centers me.  Taking a beat and not reacting can be learned.  
    According to the letter, this is relatively new behavior.  She said (paraphrasing) he's always been a good storyteller with a bit of exaggeration.   But the dramatic/dire twist has only been happening for the last year.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • They're aging and found a news channel where everything is dire. 

    Some people are just like this.  
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