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Open vs. Cash vs. Dry

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Re: Open vs. Cash vs. Dry

  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I've never been to a wedding with an open bar.  I always hope...but it's always cash. *sigh*

    I've been to a couple that were open beer, wine and pop.  If you wanted anything else it was on you.  But never a truly open bar (at a wedding).

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  • loopy82loopy82 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I wish that $200 or even $700 for that matter would cover alcohol at my wedding.

    The quote that I got - if I wanted to host just beer and wine throughout the whole reception I would be looking at $3500 - just for alcohol.

    This is why we are having a champagne toast at the beginning of the cocktail hour, hosting beer and wine during C.H., a wine pour with dinner and then beer the rest of the night. I know that not everyone likes beer so that is why we are letting people buy mix drinks if they choose to. We are also paying for the pop for the whole reception.

    We are providing limited alcohol, so I don't think it is rude to give people the option to buy a mixed drink if they want it. I'm not forcing them to. That is what I would deem as rude. If you have an issue with paying for your alcoholic drink then don't drink. It won't kill you to not drink alcohol. I don't think people should ever be charged for N/A beverages at a wedding. That is rude.

    I have listed on my website on the reception portion what alcohol is included. So this way people will know that I will give them beer and wine, but if they prefer to drink whiskey that will then be on them. This is how I have seen it done at the majority of the weddings I have been to.
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  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_open-vs-cash-vs-dry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7df6d4a3-2b5b-4486-80b2-8a6ef4867decPost:779f64f3-6567-4429-b2ac-e98b64c6bf9d">Re: Open vs. Cash vs. Dry</a>:
    [QUOTE]I wish that $200 or even $700 for that matter would cover alcohol at my wedding. The quote that I got - if I wanted to host just beer and wine throughout the whole reception I would be looking at $3500 - just for alcohol. This is why we are having a champagne toast at the beginning of the cocktail hour, hosting beer and wine during C.H., a wine pour with dinner and then beer the rest of the night. I know that not everyone likes beer so that is why we are letting people buy mix drinks if they choose to. We are also paying for the pop for the whole reception. We are providing limited alcohol, so I don't think it is rude to give people the option to buy a mixed drink if they want it. I'm not forcing them to. That is what I would deem as rude. If you have an issue with paying for your alcoholic drink then don't drink. It won't kill you to not drink alcohol. I don't think people should ever be charged for N/A beverages at a wedding. That is rude. I have listed on my website on the reception portion what alcohol is included. So this way people will know that I will give them beer and wine, but if they prefer to drink whiskey that will then be on them. This is how I have seen it done at the majority of the weddings I have been to.
    Posted by loopy82[/QUOTE]

    I agree with your entire reasoning.  Totally agree.  This is how I will do my wedding...eventually. lol

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  • loopy82loopy82 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks! I would probably get torn to shreds if I said this over on the E board, or one of them.
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  • desertsundesertsun member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    HOLY SHIIT!

    Okay, I'm so sorry, guys, I honestly didn't realize this was such a ridiculously huge expense other places.

    I'm spending slightly more than Jeana and having a full bar, with bartenders, including all the soda, mixers, garnishes, etc.

    I would never spend more than $1000 for alcohol.

    And I do think it's pretty great to use your website to let guests know ahead of time what to expect.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_open-vs-cash-vs-dry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7df6d4a3-2b5b-4486-80b2-8a6ef4867decPost:779f64f3-6567-4429-b2ac-e98b64c6bf9d">Re: Open vs. Cash vs. Dry</a>:
    [QUOTE]I wish that $200 or even $700 for that matter would cover alcohol at my wedding. The quote that I got - if I wanted to host just beer and wine throughout the whole reception I would be looking at $3500 - just for alcohol. This is why we are having a champagne toast at the beginning of the cocktail hour, hosting beer and wine during C.H., a wine pour with dinner and then beer the rest of the night. I know that not everyone likes beer so that is why we are letting people buy mix drinks if they choose to. <strong>We are also paying for the pop for the whole reception. We are providing limited alcohol, so I don't think it is rude to give people the option to buy a mixed drink if they want it. I'm not forcing them to. That is what I would deem as rude. </strong>If you have an issue with paying for your alcoholic drink then don't drink. It won't kill you to not drink alcohol. I don't think people should ever be charged for N/A beverages at a wedding. That is rude. I have listed on my website on the reception portion what alcohol is included. So this way people will know that I will give them beer and wine, but if they prefer to drink whiskey that will then be on them. This is how I have seen it done at the majority of the weddings I have been to.
    Posted by loopy82[/QUOTE]
    I still think it is rude.  The hosts should cover everything that is offered to the guests.  If the hosts cannot afford it, they should not offer it.  I'm not trying to attack you.  It's just something to consider that some people (like me) find any type of cash bar really rude.  <div>
    </div><div>$3,500 is crazy though( unless you're having a huge wedding).  We're paying around $20 pp for beer and wine.  Which should mean around $1,000 for alcohol.  </div>
  • loopy82loopy82 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I guess I should go get married in Arizona. My Aunt & Uncle live down there most of the year. Maybe I should get married in their golf community.

    We are charged $300/ keg of domestic beer. (which you can get for about $90) &$20/ bottle of wine (that we know cost just under $5/ bottle.) Grr!! It really is kind of infuriating.
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  • loopy82loopy82 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    When people say its rude I am going to start asking how much they paid for alcohol. I am sure we will end up paying at least $4,000 for the beer and wine we serve. To me $4,000 on beverages is not skimping on anything. I really don't want to end up with a $10,000 bar tab so we are going to supply what we can afford.

    ETA: Our guest list is 195. I am thinking we will have about 160 (based on some verbal no's we have gotten after STD's went out.) So I guess its not a super small wedding, but not what I would consider huge.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_open-vs-cash-vs-dry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7df6d4a3-2b5b-4486-80b2-8a6ef4867decPost:dde8bd41-1270-4232-9cbe-b0f4ae124309">Re: Open vs. Cash vs. Dry</a>:
    [QUOTE]When people say its rude I am going to start asking how much they paid for alcohol. I am sure we will end up paying at least $4,000 for the beer and wine we serve. To me $4,000 on beverages is not skimping on anything. I really don't want to end up with a $10,000 bar tab <strong>so we are going to supply what we can afford</strong>.

    ETA: Our guest list is 195. I am thinking we will have about 160 (based on some verbal no's we have gotten after STD's went out.) So I guess its not a super small wedding, but not what I would consider huge.
    Posted by loopy82[/QUOTE]

    I agree with Goldie, but I think that you hit the nail on the head in this post.  If you can't afford it, don't supply it.  That's what Goldie is saying too, I think.  And it's definitely what I'm saying.  However, there is a difference between
     
    1. "We can only afford beer and wine, so that's what it sitting out and what we're offering" and people wander off to another place in the venue and find liquor on their own

    AND

    2.  "We can only afford beer and wine, and we have beer, wine and liquor all set out for you to see, but if you want the liquor, you must pay for it yourself."

    One appears as if you clearly AREN'T offering the liquor, but it's available if guests really want it that f-ing badly and are willing to search it out and pay for it, and the other is confusing.  Not everyone will see your website to get the heads up, and if they get there and hard liquor is sitting out with the rest of the bar, they may assume it's covered like the beer and wine.  Or they may be like Mutley and Noelle, and not have brought any money with them at all, assuming that the entire bar would be hosted.

    I'm not saying I disagree with you.  Option 1 is what FI and I wanted to do until my dad threw a hissy fit and offered to pay the difference for an open bar, but I would just be careful in how you present your options to guests.  Some people WILL get miffed if things are sitting out as if they're offered and they have to pay to enjoy them.

    And for the record, I think Option 2 is rude (so I hope that's not what you were going to do), and my wedding is an estimated 200 person count with an estimated bar tab over $5000.  When it was beer/wine only it was right at $2500, so I can understand the cost constraints you're under.  It still doesn't excuse placing anything on a table as if it is offered and then making guests pay for it.  It's not a cultural difference; it's just rude.
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  • loopy82loopy82 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have never called it a cultural difference. I do think there is a regional difference. (which to me cultural vs. regional is different.)

    98% of the weddings I have been to have all had a cash bar. I have a large family and a fair number of friends who have recently gotten married. I not once over the years have heard anyone complain about paying for their own drinks. That not saying they like it, but haven't heard anyone ever call it rude that they had to buy their drinks. I could be wrong but I feel like if in MN you go to a wedding you can expect there to be a cash bar. More so in the past year or two is when I have noticed beer and beer/wine hosted through the night, previous to that every wedding I went to didn't offer any alcohol for free. A few of my cousins had open bar during the cocktail hour and it was for exactly one hour and after that it was cash.

    To me I feel like I would be rude if I told someone that they weren't allowed to have their drink of choice because I couldn't afford to pay for it. Knowing my guests (well the majority of them) I think they would be completely baffeled if I said I wasn't allowing any mixed drinks at my wedding since I can't/ don't want to pay for them.
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  • loopy82loopy82 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This is why I say there is a regional difference on the cash vs. open bar debate.

    In the poll on this post 91.5% of people said that if they didn't want the hosted beer/ wine they would like to have mixed drinks available even if they had to pay for them.

    http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_partial-open-partial-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:990d8e65-2b70-40cf-a5ae-a4d55a32477fPost:e5c2d999-670b-45c5-b069-c328bd34b8fd
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_open-vs-cash-vs-dry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7df6d4a3-2b5b-4486-80b2-8a6ef4867decPost:ed3214bf-fb83-4fb6-b293-0ea52db975bc">Re: Open vs. Cash vs. Dry</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have never called it a cultural difference. I do think there is a regional difference. (which to me cultural vs. regional is different.) 98% of the weddings I have been to have all had a cash bar. I have a large family and a fair number of friends who have recently gotten married. I not once over the years have heard anyone complain about paying for their own drinks. That not saying they like it, but haven't heard anyone ever call it rude that they had to buy their drinks. I could be wrong but I feel like if in MN you go to a wedding you can expect there to be a cash bar. More so in the past year or two is when I have noticed beer and beer/wine hosted through the night, previous to that every wedding I went to didn't offer any alcohol for free. A few of my cousins had open bar during the cocktail hour and it was for exactly one hour and after that it was cash<strong>. To me I feel like I would be rude if I told someone that they weren't allowed to have their drink of choice because I couldn't afford to pay for it.</strong> Knowing my guests (well the majority of them) I think they would be completely baffeled if I said I wasn't allowing any mixed drinks at my wedding since I can't/ don't want to pay for them.
    Posted by loopy82[/QUOTE]
    I never understand this because I feel like it is the guests' job to be gracious about what is being offered to them.  I would never go to a dinner party and expect them to have every liquor and drink available.  I would accept whatever is given to me with pleasure.  Well, it's the same thing with weddings.  Like you said earlier, it won't kill someone to not have a mixed drink at a wedding.<div>
    </div><div>I'm not trying attack you, just stating my opinion.  </div>
  • desertsundesertsun member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Well, I think a lot of it has to do with your venue and your guest list.

    We looked for a venue that would let us bring our own in and wouldn't charge corking fees.

    Keeping the alcohol budget under $1500 was nonnegotiable.

    So we made choices that allowed us to do that in terms of venue and in the size of our guest list (under 100, expecting about 75 to actually show up).

    But I understand everyone has unique situations, and we all have to do the best we can.

    There ARE differences in groups -- in our circle in Tucson, everyone has had a full open bar, which is why we didn't really think twice about that. But it seems clear that having beer/wine only or dry is just as acceptable elsewhere, and even cash bars are standard in some circles.

    Frankly, now that I've started thinking about, I would rather have the option to pay for my alcohol than go without. Not sure what that says about me, but that's my preference! :)
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_open-vs-cash-vs-dry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7df6d4a3-2b5b-4486-80b2-8a6ef4867decPost:601ff322-9651-4366-a6e6-9476bd18c99d">Re: Open vs. Cash vs. Dry</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open vs. Cash vs. Dry : I agree with Goldie, but I think that you hit the nail on the head in this post.  If you can't afford it, don't supply it.  T<strong>hat's what Goldie is saying too, I think.</strong>  And it's definitely what I'm saying.  However, there is a difference between   1. "We can only afford beer and wine, so that's what it sitting out and what we're offering" and people wander off to another place in the venue and find liquor on their own AND 2.  "We can only afford beer and wine, and we have beer, wine and liquor all set out for you to see, but if you want the liquor, you must pay for it yourself." One appears as if you clearly AREN'T offering the liquor, but it's available if guests really want it that f-ing badly and are willing to search it out and pay for it, and the other is confusing.  Not everyone will see your website to get the heads up, and if they get there and hard liquor is sitting out with the rest of the bar, they may assume it's covered like the beer and wine.  Or they may be like Mutley and Noelle, and not have brought any money with them at all, assuming that the entire bar would be hosted. I'm not saying I disagree with you.  Option 1 is what FI and I wanted to do until my dad threw a hissy fit and offered to pay the difference for an open bar, but I would just be careful in how you present your options to guests.  Some people WILL get miffed if things are sitting out as if they're offered and they have to pay to enjoy them. And for the record, I think Option 2 is rude (so I hope that's not what you were going to do), and my wedding is an estimated 200 person count with an estimated bar tab over $5000.  When it was beer/wine only it was right at $2500, so I can understand the cost constraints you're under.  It still doesn't excuse placing anything on a table as if it is offered and then making guests pay for it.  It's not a cultural difference; it's just rude.
    Posted by Acrosthec[/QUOTE]
    Yes, the bolded was what I was saying.  <div>
    </div><div>I'm also in situation 1.  There will be no alcohol out other than the beer and wine.  But if someone felt they would die without a drink , they could leave my wedding and go across the way to a restaurant that has a bar.  I don't see that happening.  If it does, I'll report back.   </div>
  • loopy82loopy82 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_open-vs-cash-vs-dry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7df6d4a3-2b5b-4486-80b2-8a6ef4867decPost:6b0301b8-b1b7-4d7e-868c-4be74c5bdc8d">Re: Open vs. Cash vs. Dry</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open vs. Cash vs. Dry : I never understand this because I feel like it is the guests' job to be gracious about what is being offered to them.  I would never go to a dinner party and expect them to have every liquor and drink available.  I would accept whatever is given to me with pleasure.  Well, it's the same thing with weddings.  Like you said earlier, it won't kill someone to not have a mixed drink at a wedding. I'm not trying attack you, just stating my opinion.  
    Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]

    IMO going to a dinner party at someone's house is different than a venue that has a list of possibilities. Yes if I go to someone's house I will accept what they have to offer me. If I am at a public place that has choices I like to be able to have the option to drink whatever I want.

    I don't feel attacked, I am just argumentative over somethings. Like this I guess. That is why I posted the link to my local board. It just supported what I was trying to get across is all.
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  • edited December 2011
    OMG desert you are such a lush! Undecided

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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_open-vs-cash-vs-dry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7df6d4a3-2b5b-4486-80b2-8a6ef4867decPost:4bc08cd1-7584-4587-a582-3357be51b98b">Re: Open vs. Cash vs. Dry</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open vs. Cash vs. Dry : IMO going to a dinner party at someone's house is different than a venue that has a list of possibilities. Yes if I go to someone's house I will accept what they have to offer me. If I am at a public place that has choices I like to be able to have the option to drink whatever I want. I don't feel attacked, I am just argumentative over somethings. Like this I guess. That is why I posted the link to my local board. It just supported what I was trying to get across is all.
    Posted by loopy82[/QUOTE]

    I think that is the biggest difference is how people feel about a reception.  I do not look at a reception as a public event.  I view it as a very large, private dinner party and the bride and groom (and their parents) are the hosts.  When we were the hosts, we wanted our guests to be taken care of to the best of our ability.  When I have a dinner party, I think about my budget/menu and plan within it.  Sometimes this means that we have several different wines on hand, sometimes we only have beer or sometimes we have hard alcohol but we always have something to offer our guests.   
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_open-vs-cash-vs-dry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7df6d4a3-2b5b-4486-80b2-8a6ef4867decPost:fa1f4362-e70f-41b0-8ddb-f424f3873679">Re: Open vs. Cash vs. Dry</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open vs. Cash vs. Dry : I think that is the biggest difference is how people feel about a reception.  I<strong> do not look at a reception as a public event.  I view it as a very large, private dinner party and the bride and groom (and their parents) are the hosts. </strong> When we were the hosts, we wanted our guests to be taken care of to the best of our ability.  When I have a dinner party, I think about my budget/menu and plan within it.  Sometimes this means that we have several different wines on hand, sometimes we only have beer or sometimes we have hard alcohol but we always have something to offer our guests.   
    Posted by **Mutley**[/QUOTE]
    Ditto. <div>
    </div><div> It upsets me that people use the fact that it's a wedding and many guests will attend as an excuse to be rude.  I stand by if you wouldn't do it in your home, you shouldn't do it for your wedding.  That means cash bar and definitely tiered weddings.  YUCK!</div>
  • edited December 2011
    I thought that said "tired" weddings... and I was like... "Late night?"
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  • desertsundesertsun member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I have to think I'm not the only person in the world who would rather pay than go without booze....

    I might find it annoying, but I'd still pay.

    I would think it more rude not to make SOME provision for those who might like to indulge.

    No? I'm the only one who thinks this? Okay, Jeana's right, I'm a lush and I'll just take my drink and sit over here by myself.

    *sulks*

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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_open-vs-cash-vs-dry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7df6d4a3-2b5b-4486-80b2-8a6ef4867decPost:5c6fa879-ba46-49a3-8f26-2f9e0129e905">Re: Open vs. Cash vs. Dry</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have to think I'm not the only person in the world who would rather pay than go without booze.... I might find it annoying, but I'd still pay. I would think it more rude not to make SOME provision for those who might like to indulge. No? I'm the only one who thinks this? Okay, Jeana's right, I'm a lush and I'll just take my drink and sit over here by myself. *sulks*
    Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]

    I would leave a dry wedding early. 

    If there is a cash bar, I will pay.  However, I will be far from pleased about it.  I've bitched enough on here about the latest cash bar wedding we went to.

    I am not picky.  I don't think anyone should blow their budget on an open bar.  IMO, provide wine, beer or a signature cocktail.  Just provide something for the entire reception. 
  • edited December 2011
  • edited December 2011
    Some venues won't let you get away with not offering mixed drinks as a "cash bar" when you are only hosting wine and beer.  We've looked at some restaurants (with bars) for our reception, and like all bars, they have hard liquor on display behind the bar.  They certainly aren't going to hide it away because we are only hosting wine and beer.  We may have guests that ask to purchase a mixed drink or two.  My feeling  is that as long as you are hosting *something* for the entire reception, then what a guest decides to do on their own is their own business.
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  • tafft1tafft1 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_open-vs-cash-vs-dry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7df6d4a3-2b5b-4486-80b2-8a6ef4867decPost:654e6bd2-a894-4c51-8f7b-af383ba05dde">Re: Open vs. Cash vs. Dry</a>:
    [QUOTE]  I don't think anyone should blow their budget on an open bar.  IMO, provide wine, beer or a signature cocktail.  Just provide something for the entire reception. 
    Posted by **Mutley**[/QUOTE]

    FI and I are basically doing this. We will be having a beverage/bar package that includes 5 different beer choices , 2 wines ( 1 red and one white) , champagne , soft drinks , juices , and other assorted non alcoholic choices and will be offering a signature cocktail as well for around $25pp. Our guest list is around 120 - but we know about 20ish people won't be able to come , so our final count will be closer to 80-90 probably. We feel this will offer something for everyone no matter their preference , alcoholic or not without having to have mixed drinks - though that option will be available if they so choose - by paying for their own. But with our circle they are not picky and since we are the first in said circle to be engaged let alone married , I don't think they will care much. But again , it just depends I suppose.
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  • StephB1185StephB1185 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was curious about the 'sitting out' of the hard liquor.. if you're using a place with a normally fully stocked bar - you can't really help that the bottles might be on display.  That might be how my venue is - included in my rental price is 5 beers/3wines/and NA drinks.  Those will be available openly for the guests all night  Mixed drinks are available to guests- because it's normally a full bar and there will be bartenders - but they won't be covered by us.  I think, though, that our guests won't be taken aback by that.  I think it's truly regional.
    I did go to a wedding recently that 1) did not have enough seating and 2) had an open bar for 2 hours and then went to cash bar.. I didn't like that so much - especially because they really didn't announce it or anything.
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  • leia1979leia1979 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I went to one wedding where there was an open bar for about an hour. As a non-drinker, I waited for the crowd to clear--when open bar was over--to get a Coke. They wanted $3 for a tiny glass of Coke! I couldn't believe it. There were bottles of wine on the table, but I couldn't get a soda without finding some cash.

    I personally don't think there's an issue with having an open bar for a limited period of time only (like a cocktail hour), maybe with wine or something on the dinner tables, but don't make people pay for nonalcoholic beverages.
  • edited December 2011
    I think it's a regional thing. I never even knew a cash bar or dry reception were options until I came here. I've never been to a wedding where the alcohol didn't flow like crazy.
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  • edited December 2011
    I am mostly a lurker but I, like Loopy, am from Minnesota and I have never been to a completely open bar.  I remember going to weddings when I was a child with my parents and watching them pay for alcohol.  I have been to weddings when beer, wine and sodas were hosted but there was a cash bar for mixed drinks.  I have never heard anyone complaining.  In fact, I know people who were surprised that they did not have to pay for beer/wine.  So I definitely agree with Loopy that it is a regional thing.  


  • loopy82loopy82 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the back-up Pink!

    I'd be a lush right along with you Desert.
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  • BlueBoxBrideBlueBoxBride member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I really think that the golden question is, "if I were a guest would I have a great time?" 

    I personally think that the ceremony is about the couple and the reception is about the guests the couple invites. Example, I love bacon wrapped stuffed figs. I think they are the best little snack on the planet. But my guy's family is Jewish and many of them practice a kosher diet. So were aren't going to serve that... there's nothing worse than leaving a wedding hungry. 

    If the majority of your guests don't care if there's a cash bar, I don't see why you would care what a few Knot members that won't be partying at your reception think. I personally, as a guest, get pissed if I'm having to find cash for a drink or two so I do not want to put anyone in that position at our wedding. 

    And $3000 in wine and beer sounds pretty high. Maybe you can negotiate a better deal with the venue? I'm pretty sure that if it's all or nothing, they would rather make 70% of their original price than no alcohol budget. 
    "I liked it, so I put a ring on it" - future Mr. Box
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