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Kdancy0805 · August 2012

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TheSlowskys · August 2012

Have you checked ebay?

Maggie0829 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-dress-drama-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a28357ae-27a5-4fec-8347-e77e9f2332dfPost:a49dfe30-ecb7-4ca1-a636-5e27d56527ac">Re: Bridesmaid dress Drama! HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]I have checked everywhere! @1covejack- Everyone elses dress fit except her because she has gained weight, not in a growing kid kind of way gained weight. We are not being mean. We have offered to let her wear a different dress if the 8 doesnt end up fitting and <strong>let her be a junior bridesmaid</strong>.
Posted by Kdancy0805[/QUOTE]

Just because she might wear a different dress should not mean that you change her title. Anyway a junior bridesmaid is still a bridesmaid, adding the junior part will just make the 12 yearl old feel snubbed.

I see the picture of the dress but is that your color scheme? I just wasn't sure. If so, what are the colors in the dress pictured because it is kind of hard to tell.

aerinpegadrak · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-dress-drama-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a28357ae-27a5-4fec-8347-e77e9f2332dfPost:a49dfe30-ecb7-4ca1-a636-5e27d56527ac">Re: Bridesmaid dress Drama! HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]I have checked everywhere! @1covejack- Everyone elses dress fit except her because she has gained weight, not in a growing kid kind of way gained weight. We are not being mean. We have offered to let her wear a different dress if the 8 doesnt end up fitting and let her be a junior bridesmaid.
Posted by Kdancy0805[/QUOTE]

Calling a kid's attention to their weight in any sort of negative way is mean. That's exactly the sort of thing that causes eating disorders and other long-term psychological damage. Is two yards of fabric worn for six hours really worth that?

Just let her wear a different dress if you can't find this one in a different size, and if you have a shred of kindness in your heart, do it without making it a big deal or changing her title.

Maggie0829 · August 2012

Here is what I think you should do. Let the 12 year old wear the dress that fits. Then go with your MOH to see if you can find her a dress that will compliment the dresses that the other BMs are wearing. Since she is the MOH it is perfectly fine for her dress to be different. You could even take the BM dress with you to compare colors. Just know that the colors do not have to match perfectly but just coordinate.

aerinpegadrak · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-dress-drama-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a28357ae-27a5-4fec-8347-e77e9f2332dfPost:0c1b6937-1546-4660-b827-4171c93ed2a6">Re: Bridesmaid dress Drama! HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]The colors of the dress are Champagne, rose and stone. I feel like I am being attacked. Let me start over. WE WOULD NEVER CALL ATTENTION TO A CHILDS WEIGHT. We totally understand that we do not want to create any sort of eating disorder. She thought whe would be a flower girl at first, so it was awesome for her when I told her she would be a bridesmaid. She gets to wear heels and she is very excited about that! To help you understand the family dynamics betters. She is my half siser (not that, that matter about the half part) My MOH is my sister. We are 13 months apart and thats exactly why it is so important for her to be my MOH and wear her dress that she ordered in the right size. So I guess what I am getting is if this 8 doesnt fit after being let out I should make my MOH wear a dress that doesnt match and let a 12 year old be happy or just give her a different dress and not cal her a junior bridesmaid.
Posted by Kdancy0805[/QUOTE]

Then why would you say in your first post, "If she can't lose the weight," unless that was what you were going to try to get her to do?

GoodLuckBear14 · August 2012

Okay. There is no way to let out a size 8 to a size 12. There just isn't enough material unless you add side panels. If you do something like that, it is just going to make your 12 year old sister feels like crap. I'd bet she's already picking up on the "she gained too much weight this summer" vibe that I am sure is emanating from you. Twelve year olds are smart enough to figure out when they are causing someone stress and knowing that your stress is caused by her weight gain might have a damaging effect on her whether you want to acknowledge that or not.

Next, your MOH does not have a dress. She gave it to the twelve year old which was incredibly generous on her part. You can't just take it back now because that would be the same as punishing her for gaining weight. I find it hard to believe that there is not a single dress on the planet that your MOH could wear that will go with your BM dresses.

You are not dealing with a grown woman who should have known that she has to fit into a dress by a certain date - otherwise my answer would be a little different. You are dealing with a child who at twelve is dealing with a changing body that a lot of times she cannot control, hormones that she is trying to get used to and the horrible environment that is junior high filled with catty girls whose favorite subject (at least when I was in jr. high) was weight. The last thing she needs is any action from her big sister that tells her she is fat - and everything that you are planning will do just that.

Kdancy0805 · August 2012

never told anyone they were fat a day in my life. I have my own issues I deal with. I am more concerned about hurting anyones feelings than anything in the world. I obviously didn't word what I was trying to say correctly and I apologize for that. I have ordered a new dress that should be here in time out of my own money. so thanks for the beat down ladies.

GoodLuckBear14 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-dress-drama-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a28357ae-27a5-4fec-8347-e77e9f2332dfPost:6faa5138-0178-4554-b30f-e136add2c5b8">.</a>:
[QUOTE]never told anyone they were fat a day in my life. I have my own issues I deal with. I am more concerned about hurting anyones feelings than anything in the world. I obviously didn't word what I was trying to say correctly and I apologize for that. I have ordered a new dress that should be here in time out of my own money. so thanks for the beat down ladies.
Posted by Kdancy0805[/QUOTE]

You don't have to tell someone "you're fat" for them to get this message from you. Obsessing over a dress that she cannot fit into (essentially telling her that how she looks in your wedding is more important than her just being in the wedding) will do that job quite nicely. At this point, I'm more worried about you triggering an eating disorder in her. You might think this is extreme but I have a cousin and aunt who both dealt with anorexia a couple of times worrying about how they were going to look in a BM dress and a MOG dress.

aerinpegadrak · August 2012

If a bunch of strangers all picked up the same vibe from a few paragraphs of text, how much more do you think your sister is picking up from your words and actions?

Kdancy0805 · August 2012

Like I said I have ordered a new dress. I'm fully aware of what this could do and thats why we have went this route with ordering a new dress. No one has mentioned any of this to her. She has no clue whats going on. Again I apologize for coming off the way I did. I did not word things correctly and obviously didn't put enough detail.

Kdancy0805 · August 2012

She doesn't live in the same state as me so probably none. I am 28. I live on my own without my 12 year old sister. so thanks for that

Kdancy0805 · August 2012

Her Mother is handling everything with her. Her Mother is not my Mother. So maybe I should have added my life story in the first place.

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