Wedding Invitations & Paper

how to address when wife is a doctor

Is it Mr. and Dr. John Smith? (ie, substitute the Mrs. for Dr.)?

Re: how to address when wife is a doctor

  • From The Knot:

    Q.

    How do you address an invitation to a doctor?

    A.

     

    If a wife and husband are both doctors, the outer and inner envelopes should be addressed to: "The Doctors Rosenthal." It's that simple! If they're married but have different last names, list both names in alphabetical order on separate lines: "Dr. Rosenthal" followed by "Dr. Schwartz".

    If only one spouse is a doctor, list the person with the professional name first: "Dr. Kate Randolph Mr. Brian Randolph" or "Dr. Kate Randolph and Mr. Brian Randolph" (if it fits on one line).

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  • I'd like to add that although ettiquette says this, my mother has her PhD. and my father doesn't.  She said to send it to Mr. and Mrs. anyway, becuase it would be insulting to my Dad.  If you know them well (or someone else does) ask and see what would make them most comfortable.
  • Is she a medical doctor?  If so, then maribeth's advice is fine.

    If she is a PhD in something else and doesn't go by "Dr." socially then you can leave it as Mrs.
  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited February 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_how-to-address-when-wife-is-a-doctor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:ec4b89e6-b923-4ddc-b991-eaf4ad41d875Post:1a8356bb-16a1-4060-825f-9709d1706327">Re: how to address when wife is a doctor</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'd like to add that although ettiquette says this, my mother has her PhD. and my father doesn't.  She said to send it to Mr. and Mrs. anyway, becuase it would be insulting to my Dad.  If you know them well (or someone else does) ask and see what would make them most comfortable.
    Posted by eandngalloway[/QUOTE]

    Typically a PhD doesn't get a Doctor title anyway, but I can't begin to fathom how it could be "insulting" to your father to use her title.
  • My original question pertained to a medical doctor. I'm going with Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith. I love that the woman comes first!

    On the PhD issue, my aunt has one and does use Dr as her formal title. I guess that one is more debatable, but I am certain that she prefers this.

    I think for PhD it is more nebulous because most professors are called "Professor so-and-so" by students, not "Doctor so-and-so"...at least this is the case I've always seen.

    I'm actually in graduate school for my PhD right now and my fiance is an MD. I don't think I will go by "Doctor" though - it seems misleading. We'll prob just be Dr. and Mrs. LastName.

    Anyway, sorry for the tangent!
  • tenofcups, that was the old rule. It's in my Amy Vanderbilt's Complete Guide to Etiquette, 1958.

    A few years ago, during a prior engagement, I discussed my wedding with a friend of my grandparents' who worked for the State Department for decades, she was aghast that I was considering having my invitations acknowledge that my mother is a doctor (MD) while my father is just "Mr." A woman, in that world/time, can't socially "outrank" her husband.

    I don't know how my invitations will read, but it won't be "Mr. and Mrs." like the 1958 book says.
  • I know it was the old rule, but that book is more than 50 years old now. I just can not imagine how anyone who is intelligent enough to get a PhD could think that her title insults her husband. Just mind-boggling to me.

    Anyway, Cas, yes Doctor Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith is correct (note that Doctor is spelled out). For the PhD, if you know she prefers to use her title, I'd use it regardless of what traditional etiquette calls for.
  • I just spoke to my Mom about this and she always thought a wife doctor drops the "Doctor" socially. So to her, Mr. and Mrs. would be normal when the wife's a doctor. I tried to explain to her how out of date that sounds but she couldn't comprehend my point. Oh well - traditions die hard, I guess. I'm still going with Doctor Jane Smith & Mr. John Smith on my invite.
  • I have always been told a medical doctor is always spelled out Doctor, whether it's a man or a woman (see below).

    I use Crane's Blue Book for Weddings as my guide.  That said, I believe it should be:

    Doctor Jane Jones and Mr. Martin Jones. The attached shows outer envelope and inner envelope.


     

  • coraleetbwed:

    What is the difference on outer and inner envelopes when neither has a professional title?

    Outer is:
    Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

    What should the inner say?
  • Mr. and Mrs. Smith
  • Yeah it's really complicated. I'm in Manhattan, which one would think is less traditional; but all but one of my friends has in fact changed her name. The doctor I started this thread about also changed her name, but I will go with Doctor Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe since that is suggested above.

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