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AIT wedding

hannahmbannisterhannahmbannister member
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in Military Brides
My fiance is in AIT up at Fort Lee, VA. I am so new to all of the army information and it's been really confusing trying to figure out how to get married while he is there! His AIT is only 12 weeks long but I want us to go ahead and get married while he is there so hopefully I can go with him where ever he goes afterwards. If you could give me any information about how to get married in AIT or about Fort Lee it would be much appreciated! Thank you so much.
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Re: AIT wedding

  • Sammy0709Sammy0709 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Most of the ladies on this board will suggest you wait until after he gets to his first duty station to get married. It will save a lot of headache.
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  • kara811kara811 member
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    Ditto Sammy. Also I would scrap this username as it appears to have your full name on it. Read up on PERSEC. Too many creepos out there these days.
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  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
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    Depending on the training unit, getting married during AIT can be a gigantic no no.  It can also be going against a direct order.  While in AIT, I had to sign a form saying I would not drink alcohol, use tobacco products, have sex in any way shape or form or get married if I was single.  Seeing as his AIT is so short, he probably also has those same limitations. 
    Wait until he gets to his first duty station.  It isn't that long.  Odds are, it will be a place where you can move to be near him, if you want.  I guaruntee you'll wish you had waited.  Then you'll come on here asking about planning your "real wedding" and get flamed to hell and back.  Slow your roll.  Trust me. 
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  • crownsuperstarcrownsuperstar member
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    Sammy's response is very wise.  Just because they say it will end on a date does not mean that it will happen on that date.  For example, H's deployment date was changed about five times and his R&R date was changed six (I lost count). 

    One lesson about the military, nothing is final until it is happening.

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  • hannahmbannisterhannahmbannister member
    First Comment
    Haha thanks! I'm still confused about it all, somebody told me to get him to talk to his chain-of-command about it. I tried to change my username and I can't figure out how! If somebody could tell me that would be awesome. We didn't want to have a big wedding anyway. I just wanted to go to a courthouse with our parents or something haha. Thank you all for the info!
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  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
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    What are you confused about?  Maybe we can help you out.  If he talks to his Cadre about getting married, they'll tell him to do push ups until he forgets about it. 

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  • hannahmbannisterhannahmbannister member
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    Mostly about if we can get married while he's there and how we go about getting all of this stuff set up. Hopefully I can talk to him tonight about it and see if he's signed any papers or if he knows anything yet. I kept telling him to ask people. I know he should get some breaks when he gets passes to leave for the weekend and I was wondering if we could just go somewhere during that time and get married.
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  • kara811kara811 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    You might be able to email KK about it and get it changed or it would be easier to make a new account with another email address. May I ask, what is the rush with getting married while he's still at AIT? There is nothing wrong with waiting. Are you even sure this lifestyle is something you can live with?
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  • hannahmbannisterhannahmbannister member
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    I guess I'll have to make a new account. My fiance is my best friend and I would want to go with him where ever he may have to go (when possible). I've been wanting to marry him long before he signed up. I know it will be hard at times but I feel like I will be able to handle it. 
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  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
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    Passes are not a right.  They are taken away all the time for what can seem like stupid reasons. You could get there planning to get married and he's not allowed to go anywhere.
    Also, I just looked up the county courthouse for the area outside Ft Lee.  Their hours for marriage licenses are M-F  830-430.  That won't work if you are getting married over a weekend pass.  You both have to be there to get your license. 
    Just wait until he gets to his first duty station. 

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  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
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    You don't have to be married to move to be near him.  If he is stationed stateside, that will not be difficult.  Even if you are married durring AIT, they may not be able to ammend his orders to add you to them before he is assigned to a unit.  There is still a great chance you will still have this issue.
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  • hannahmbannisterhannahmbannister member
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    Yeah that's true, they got their priviledges to walk around this weekend taken away because of something stupid. :/ thank you for all your info. 
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  • Hannahw1219Hannahw1219
    First Comment
    Ok I created a new page and hopefully the other one will be deleted soon! Thank you all so much, I really appreciate any information that I can get. Should I go and delete this thread or should it go away after my other account is deleted? 
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  • CAB1217CAB1217
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    You can't delete the thread, but I can if you feel more comfortable with it gone... there is some great info on here that I would hate for you to lose though. I would just not use the other username anymore.
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  • ZeldakinsZeldakins member
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    OP, if I may ask...how old are you?
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  • firemedicrrfiremedicrr
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    I'm sitting on the same bench as these other ladies and saying that I think you should wait until he is settled at his first duty station. The military life is full of changes, and all the other ladies have given very valid reasons to wait. Do you want to marry him and then have him go back to AIT and not see him until that's over? Just keep in mind that you can never do your wedding day over again without getting divorced, so I think it's important to take the time to plan and think about things and make sure it's everything that BOTH of you want it to be. How does he feel about the possibility of getting married and then him being apart from you and still not knowing where you are going next? 

    Welcome to the board.... tell us about you- what do you do? Dreams, goals? 
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  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_ait-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:8ee5af1f-46bf-48af-99f1-f3d0094762afPost:b3c76aef-a915-49bf-84c2-bd6a03dd768d">Re: AIT wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm sitting on the same bench as these other ladies and saying that I think you should wait until he is settled at his first duty station. The military life is full of changes, and all the other ladies have given very valid reasons to wait. <strong><em><u>Do you want to marry him and then have him go back to AIT and not see him until that's over?</u></em></strong> Just keep in mind that you can never do your wedding day over again without getting divorced, so I think it's important to take the time to plan and think about things and make sure it's everything that BOTH of you want it to be. How does he feel about the possibility of getting married and then him being apart from you and still not knowing where you are going next?  Welcome to the board.... tell us about you- what do you do? Dreams, goals? 
    Posted by firemedicrr[/QUOTE]
    I'm right here with the bolded.  You never get your wedding night back.  You won't even be able to spend it together. 
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