the family went to a restaurant one morning for breakfast. it's a bit of a drive, but it's a nostaligc favorite. in the last few years, the restaurant has apparently changed owners, and there was some local talk about whether or not it would be as good, but whatever, we decided to go.
OH HOLY CRIZAPPY it was not as good. the decor was run down -- before, it was quaint and historic whereas now it just looks dirty and rundown. there was only one server, and let's just say, nola would be blessing her heart.
she wasn't very large, but she was large. that in itself is neither here nor there, but she wore her pants below the equator, so they had a very tenuous grip on her butt. there was a large -- very large -- expanse of visible skin from where her shirt ended and her pants began. but no crack! no crack at all! i mean, there was some red underwear visible, but no crack. it was truly a wonder.
i couldn't stop staring the whole time. dh told me later that i would stop talking mid-sentence and stop eating mid-bite whenever she came into the room because i would just stare at her. Lord, forgive me.
anyway, we made it thought breakfast, she kept her pants on, and we stopped obil from stiffing her on the tip. it was a holiday miracle.