Wedding related stress

jonchrissy · February 2010

Hey ladies! you are all so helpful with anything, so I figured I'd ask how you handle wedding stress. Fi and I have only been engaged for about a month and a half and I'm miserable and have so much anxiety I can't take it. Other than go to the gym which I do 4x a week, do you have any other ways you handle all of it?

Thanks!

StaceyC828 · February 2010

Ugh I am very familiar with that feeling. It got REALLY bad for me, and my fiance and I decided to make a formal announcement to our families, saying that we were going to do NO planning at all and just enjoy being engaged for the next 4 months. We told them to please not ask us about it, we would let them know when planning started and make sure everyone feels included when we were ready. Our moms started to leave us alone, the questions died down, and we got time to just take a deep breath, relax, enjoy being engaged and think about wedding stuff without having any timelines in mind or having anyone to answer to.

spuccio · February 2010

Aw...I hear you. The best advice I can give you is that it comes and goes in stages. Initially, there is usually some family stuff. Parents getting used to the idea of marrying their kid off, or moms feeling overwhelmed or excluded, or siblings feeling like they should be the first to marry, etc etc. Usually, with time and some sensitivity by you, that will go away. Eventually you will experience more of the stress around planning details. It comes and goes. It does, however, all totally DISAPPEAR when you walk down that aisle. And I was seriously about to barf on the morning before. :-D

Keep exercising, hugging your FI, and definitely set aside time to do non-wedding related things. Reserve one day a weekend to do something FUN for as long as you can. Hang in there!!

AlexaGrant · February 2010

Awesome advice, ladies, we need it!

TeebagyAndNorth · February 2010

I totally know what you mean. For me... the best stress reliever has been the gym. But additionally- I've been very upfront with my family asking for help when I need planning help and asking them to back off when its too much. Also- set aside time for yourself that is NONwedding. If you are in school- set aside time to get everything done that is piling up, if you are behind with work- do that. Its impossible to ignore your wedding stress completely... but trying to separate your wedding time and "rest of your life" time helps.

lnarey · February 2010

along the lines of what PP said.... Make sure to still have "you" time. Go out (or stay in) with FI and have a nice dinner that doesn't involve conversations aobut meetings with photographers or cake flavors. Still go out with your girlfriends for wine and/or martini's. Remember that when the day gets here- no matter what it will be 100% worth it. You're so high up on cloud 9 that day, that nothing else matters.

megandjay · February 2010

Wish I could have read this advice before my breakdown yesterday- yes, I was sobbing crying because the invitations were not perfect (and it was only a draft!). Don't worry, I understand that was totally crazy of me, I think I just got overwhelmed, I have been trying to do several wedding-related things at once and I just need to pace myself a little better.

jonchrissy · February 2010

I think it's the trying to please everyone part that's going to kill me. That on top of a total of 4 people paying for the wedding. I'm mostly try to please FI and my grandparents who are paying for the majority of it. I'm probably the only girl who wishes their FI cared less.

gardenia812 · February 2010

I know what you mean! It's so hard to please everyone, it can be so exhausting. I wish we could just elope and have it all over with sometimes.
I deal with it by picking a DIY project and immersing myself in it. Right now I'm decoupaging a card box that takes a lot of time. It's helpful because 1) it's so detailed I have to focus on it completely and that takes my mind off other things, and 2) it's doing something for the wedding so when it's done I can cross something off my list.
There's some really good advice here, I hope you find something that works for you

snoangel79 · February 2010

I am a stress case usually. Wedding plans make it worse, and now I am dealing with a lower back sciatic possible disc issue. So it's making me more annoyed!! I tried getting back to exercise and basically "hurt myself" Now going to a chiropractor!
I think I need to go home and have some wine pref. the whole bottle hahaha and a burger with fries!

Anyways I wish I could give you advice but it's good to know I am not the only one dealing with the stress!!

Laura

Karen's MOH · February 2010

For me what helps is only worrying about a couple of things at a time. Like, in the next two weeks, I want to have the accommodations and ceremony musicians done. And it's in order of importance-- right after we booked the venue and the church, it was photographer and DJ, because those were the most important to me. And once they are booked, I don't think about them at all.

I think the biggest thing for me is not overthinking things. I'm a totally over-researcher and always have to feel like I got The Best So-and-so, for The Best Deal. I had to accept that I don't have to have the Number One DJ, just a good one that I like that fits my budget. Remind yourself of that when you are goign crazy over the shade of plum in your bouquets or whatever it is that gets you.

Shazzie116 · February 2010

Wine. Lots of wine.

MandahGirly · February 2010

I agree with Shaz 100% - Also, make sure you find some time for yourself! Pamper yourself, get your nails done, get a facial, get a massage! I totally treated myself tonight and I feel fabulous!

Shazzie116 · February 2010

I also found that there were a lot of moments I felt all wound up, not knowing what to do next, especially when it got very close to the big day and all I could see were DIY projects scattered all over the living room. I found that closing my eyes and taking deep breathes to re-center myself did wonders.

Wedding related stress

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