Honeymoon Registry?

ocgirl310 · September 2010

Hello! Here's the deal, I have tried the best I can trying to follow wedding etiquette. I have been following this board and looking things up before I did most of my planning and am really trying to do things right. We do have a couple store registries that are listed on our website and we have a honeymoon registry. We have received a few gifts from the honeymoon registry already but I just read someone's comment on another thread that made honeymoon registries sound tacky. Is that right? Are honeymoon registries a no-no?

akhensley81 · September 2010

A lot of people think honeymoon registries are tacky - but there are people who see no problem with them, too. I look at it like it's similar to asking for cash.

At this point, with a little more than a month left, I'd say just leave it be. Obviously at least some of your guests have no problem with it - because they're buying from it. I think it's a good thing that you have other (store) registries as well. That way, if a guest doesn't want to participate in the honeymoon registry, they still have other options.

Do you know if your honeymoon registry is charging fees to each person who buys from it? That's usually one of the big complaints I hear.

[Deleted User] · September 2010

Ditto ak.

I don't think I would remove it at this point, just leave it be. They may not be looked down upon in your circle of friends and family like the are in other areas.

Mrs.B6302007 · September 2010

To add to the HR= cash, it's also not a necessity to live daily life like the traditional registry items. It's a vacation, a splurge, a "get to" not a "have to" and it's not okay to expect others to finance your vacation.

Snippylynn · September 2010

*sigh* It's like people are trying to get me all banned again n stuff. They are so godawful awful, I'm out of words to describe it.

LuluP82 · September 2010

What everyone else said.

The reason I don't like them, is I once had a co-worker tell me: "Oh these are great! People are buying us "stuff" but it's really just a nicer way to ask for cash, because it's just cash that gets deposited in our account." I just found that as tasteless as another bride who kept saying no boxed gifts, please.

I think if: you're actually intending to take the excursions people are buying you AND the website doesn't charge ppl, then at this point, just leave it up.

I don't think it has anything to do with "necessity"-- when I give a gift, I don't necessarily want to give a necessity (after all, if someone really needs something, they usually buy it for themselves anyway). I want to give something the people wouldn't otherwise get. And although I always give cash for weddings, when I see thinly veiled requests for cash, I get annoyed and give a boxed gift.

Snippylynn · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e89cbf73-d10d-4f1b-bf0d-c02183a87948Post:19799f76-f4cc-4eef-81e5-992ae2ef44fc">Re: Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry? : Whaaaaat? Are you joking?
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

Joking about what? Why I got banned? No.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · September 2010

I don't think honeymoon registries are tacky if you and your fiance can buy your way there. This isn't a popular opinion around TK but seriously, none of these girls are going to be anywhere near your wedding or your honeymoon so you shouldn't worry about what they think about your registries.

Some people think they're tacky, and others don't see a problem with it at all. I guarantee you no matter what you do, SOMEONE somewhere will think something is tacky. You can't worry about it too much, I mean, unless everything's like, blaze orange or something.

When my cousin got married, they had a honeymoon registry because they'd already been living together and had a child together. They already had tons of stuff together that they didn't need to get for their wedding. People want to get you something for your wedding and honestly, it doesn't matter if it's a freaking $300 Kitchenaid Mixer or breakfast in bed at your resort in Maui. If it's something special to you, and someone wants to buy it for you, then they will.

Seriously, don't worry about it.

lezlers · September 2010

I'm doing a honeymoon registry. My FI and I moved in together a year ago and combined households. Consequently, we have more crap than me know what to do with. The very last thing we need is MORE crap. However, we're paying for the wedding and honeymoon ourselves and we're really short on cash, enter: the honeymoon registry. It just makes sense. People want to know what to get us. Saying "don't get us anything" gets you nowhere. We shudder at the thought of filing up our house with even MORE stuff we don't need. We've found people are actually loving the ease and idea of the registry. I haven't had a single person even flinch at the mention of it.

ssbynon · September 2010

I did not do a honeymoon registry because I feared some of the judgment, but I actually LIKE them. I really do not see a real difference between asking someone to buy you sheets and a honeymoon registry. Yes, there are going to be some people out there that may comment, but If I had the pick of a honeymoon registry and a regular registry, I would give a gift from the honeymoon registry. I like the idea of buying someone a great dinner, bottle of wine or excusion on their honeymoon. I buy stuff off the regular registry because I am expected to anyway - who cares in what form the gift comes.

However, I agree that you should find the most reputable site to do it through. I would especially like it if you were actually buying something - like a dinner credit or an excusion or a bottle of wine, rather than just contributing cash. Given that you already have it up, I would keep it and not worry about it. People have a choice in any event.

LuluP82 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e89cbf73-d10d-4f1b-bf0d-c02183a87948Post:9c0ce049-be6d-4c49-a141-301c11fd9e30">Re: Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]I did not do a honeymoon registry because I feared some of the judgment, but I actually LIKE them. I really do not see a real difference between asking someone to buy you sheets and a honeymoon registry. Yes, there are going to be some people out there that may comment, but If I had the pick of a honeymoon registry and a regular registry, I would give a gift from the honeymoon registry. I like the idea of buying someone a great dinner, bottle of wine or excusion on their honeymoon. I buy stuff off the regular registry because I am expected to anyway - who cares in what form the gift comes. However, I agree that you should find the most reputable site to do it through. I would especially like it if you were actually buying something - like a dinner credit or an excusion or a bottle of wine, rather than just contributing cash. Given that you already have it up, I would keep it and not worry about it. People have a choice in any event.
Posted by ssbynon[/QUOTE]

I love this aspect too, and actually have in the past bought excursions/dinneres for the couple on my own as a creative gift (for people I've known really well who I know would appreciate it, obviously). BUT, I don't like the thinly veiled request for cash that many honeymoon registries represent. I think it's better to have a small registry-- ppl will give you cash anyway, if they want to. But I don't like the idea of being "tricked" (Just how I hate when people register fully intending to take stuff back for the cash).

meganyani · September 2010

I agree with AllAboutTheBenjamins.Especially now when people already have their homes made, it seems silly to want to buy them more kitchen appliances.

We are having a Disney honeymoon. They offer a registry (and no, they don't take a 'cut'). You can have people give you certain things, like a meal, or just straight up give you Disney cash on your card.

We asked NO ONE to contribute. It came with our package vacation. But guess what? All of our friends asked about it and wanted to give. They even said "don't let anyone buy ___ from there because I want to!"

mehh. He is 32 with a kid and I've been living alone for a few years. We don't need ANYTHING else for the home. I would also have no problem giving people cash or honeymoon things for their weddings.

/TACKY!

Birdie1483 · September 2010

I had honestly never even heard of honeymoon registries until I came on TK. I'm personally not a big fan of them because honeymoons are more luxuries than necessities and I really don't see the point. You might as well just give the couple cash, right? Why jump through hoops to accomplish the same goal?

I usually give cash as a gift with the thought that my friends can have some extra cash on hand for their honeymoon. However, it's up to them ultimately how they use it.

Snippylynn · September 2010

If you can't give advice as to the etiquette something on the etiquette board, it's probably best just to keep quiet and move on.

kellyjellybelly · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e89cbf73-d10d-4f1b-bf0d-c02183a87948Post:56052888-c89d-4b11-99b2-c34899a20fc1">Re: Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you can't give advice as to the etiquette something on the etiquette board, it's probably best just to keep quiet and move on.
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]
That, in general, just seems to be a tough concept for people to grasp.

Mrs.B6302007 · September 2010

Mr B and I were "older" when we got hitched. We both had houses and they were full of stuff already so I can definitely see where people feel they don't need more items to add to an already overflowing house. HOWEVER, there are always upgrades. New sheets, new towels to replace the worn out ones, more compact sized microwave, etc. that you can still consider. I even registered for space-saver hangers (and got them!). Is your laundry basket worn out? Consider that. How about a new double hamper instead of 2 single ones? We had a small registry of upgrades/replacements, got tons of cash, and managed to pay for our honeymoon without asking for a cent. So, no, I don't like the HRs.

squirrly · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e89cbf73-d10d-4f1b-bf0d-c02183a87948Post:2706f472-bb99-4fe4-80ce-4090b4069744">Re: Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm doing a honeymoon registry. My FI and I moved in together a year ago and combined households. Consequently, we have more crap than me know what to do with. The very last thing we need is MORE crap. However, we're paying for the wedding and honeymoon ourselves and we're really short on cash, enter: the honeymoon registry. It just makes sense. People want to know what to get us. Saying "don't get us anything" gets you nowhere. We shudder at the thought of filing up our house with even MORE stuff we don't need. We've found people are actually loving the ease and idea of the registry. I haven't had a single person even flinch at the mention of it.
Posted by lezlers[/QUOTE]

Why not just say, "We have all the things we need, and are saving for a wonderful vacation together."

lezlers · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e89cbf73-d10d-4f1b-bf0d-c02183a87948Post:2dcb992f-3ddd-432c-8dff-98dcef529d25">Re: Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry? : Why not just say, "We have all the things we need, and are saving for a wonderful vacation together."
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

<div>Pretty sure I answered that in my original post.</div>

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