wedding date conflict

maniac0511 · March 2011

Hi ladies,

My fiance and I have finally picked a date that we like and that is available for our venue. I just realized that my close cousin whom I would like to invite to the wedding has her birthday on that date. I'm worried that it could turn into a wedding/birthday party. I'm now conflicted if I should change my date, or not to invite her ....

Basically I don't feel that the date is special anymore, but all of our alternate dates at the venue (that we would like to book) are gone for November.

What would you do??

kaesha · March 2011

Our wedding date was the same as my BIL's. One of my closest friends gave birth on our wedding day too. People share important dates all the time; things only as special as you choose to let them be.

I think most people know that you don't combine celebrations (birthday/wedding) like that into one unless specifically instructed to.

maui2011 · March 2011

If you like your date and your venue is available then book it, especially if there are no other dates available...it will be special to the two of you and that's what's important. J. :-)

ShantinaMarie · March 2011

i agree with the other ladies, its no big deal. I changed my at home reception a million times trying to accomidate other people. I finally set a date and bought my save the dates then totally realized I had a work event that weekend so we had to change it again. . It is way to hard trying to book your big day around other peoples lives so you just have to do what works best for you and your FI

breaness · March 2011

I don't think you need to worry about it turning into a joint b-day/wedding thing. No one should ignore the fact that it's her birthday, but it also shouldn't be celebrated at your wedding.

If she's coming out to Hawaii for the wedding, why not get everyone together the day before for a birthday celebration for her?

ETA: I also don't know how old she is, but I find that the older I get, the less I care about birthdays. I think if it were me (the one with the birthday) I'd be thrilled about spending my birthday in Hawaii! For me, the last few years, my birthday has consisted of working all day, just to leave work and go teach at night. The most celebration I do now is dinner with my parents & FI and maybe dinner with friends the weekend before or after my birthday.

In short-- I feel like birthdays, while special, happen every year and can be celebrated a day (or in my case a week) earlier or later. Your wedding only happens once.

sld0618 · March 2011

Our wedding day is FI's cousin's birthday. It didn't matter to us because we wanted that date. I don't think people will really care that much. I like the idea of making another day a celebration. How about talking to her about it since she is a close cousin?

sld0618 · March 2011

Also, I forgot to add that the day after my wedding is father's day, so my brunch is yay we got married/happy father's day dad! And then the day after my AHR is my dad's birthday. I full intend on taking the mic at my reception at midnight and tell him how much I love him and happy birthday! We're having another brunch the day after our AHR for the rest of my family who didn't get to go to HI and the gift openings. So it will be a come hang out for some food and happy birthday dad, but he's just happy he'll have all of our families there to celebrate too. I think I'm going to stage a present within our presents and be like waittt this can't be ours!

Weddings wouldn't be so much fun if it weren't for the people celebrating with us.

kimmykupcakes · March 2011

I won't worry about it being your couzin's birthday. Our wedding date is also my cousin's birthday. No one int he family has even said anything about it being the same date. No matter what, dates are always shared with more then one special occasion. There's just no stopping it.

maniac0511 · March 2011

Thank you everyone for your input. I really appreciate it.

JCWhitey · March 2011

Last year my birthday landed while I was attending a friend's wedding as it will this year. I made it a point to not mention that it was my birthday. I get a birthday every year, these couples only get one wedding day. If your cousin cares about you she'll be respectful of your day.

I have 36 first cousins... trying to pick a date where it's no one's birthday would be almost impossible!

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