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Feeling destroyed RSVP *vent*

plswitzeplswitze member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Florida-South Florida
So this isn't your typical RSVP vent... we still have 2 more days and plenty of time until the wedding and have received a LARGE majority of RSVP's... However... with that being said... We only have about 50% yes's... I  have basically been crying all morning. SO out of 220 invites, only about 110-120 people are coming. I just feel awful and guilty. We put so much thought into this date b/c we avoided fall like the plague (football season, don't ask), summer- hotter than hell, winter-christmas, new years etc... 

 FI has a HUGE family with the majority of his cousins are our age meaning: moving, finishing school, buying homes, starting new jobs, broke... so we understand why a lot can't come... he also has cousins HIGHLY involved in college athletic administration and we found out (4 months into wedding planning) that our wedding is the night of the final 4... ANNND most of his family is in Michigan and the Carolina's and mine is in PA and Va.

Not to mention my side of the family absolutely sucks. My dad's parents aren't even coming b/c they don't travel for anything or anyone (and basically that's all I'm saying about that b/c they are my grandparents and bashing them would feel awful). Most of my parents closest friends aren't coming either (currently I don't have one single cousin on my side, attending my wedding).

I feel guilty anytime I start to get mad thinking about people who can't come. But i can't help it. I'm a "family first" type of person, I'd drop anything for anyone in my family. But I know that Florida is expensive, and flights are outrageous, even our hotel room block is good for this time of year, but expensive for people who live in the midwest and don't understand why things cost so much here....

Now I'm just blaming myself, should I have picked a different place, time of year... anything? I know the MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES WILL BE THERE, but I just can't help but think... we will we be missing all those cousins and family friends who won't? ugh.

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Re: Feeling destroyed RSVP *vent*

  • Victoria&KenVictoria&Ken member
    First Comment
    I hope you feel better!!!... Have you taken in consideration the people you left out (if you did).... remember as long as you have those that matter is fine.... dont worry, you still have a hand full.... Does the amount of people missing affect on your venue? for example, you have a minimum to spend?
    "True love is friendship caught on fire" someecards.com - Let's decide who we're inviting to our wedding and who will never speak to us again
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  • plswitzeplswitze member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Our minimum is 100 so luckily we are fine there... and I have started contacting vendors to ask about refunds and just adjusting the final payment in a few weeks (aka 13 centerpieces instead of 20, can we just take off the amount I owe since it's so early and they haven't ordered flowers yet). So far I've gotten a positive answer about our ceremony chair rentals and still waiting to hear from the florist. Fingers crossed.
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  • Martica14Martica14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    You will continue receiving positive answers!! I know it sucks because I am a "family first" type of person too but have learned that we cant control they way others see this so just concentrate on those that will be there that day because they have done their best and worked hard to support you that day and thats whats important!
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  • Danny&Mel2003Danny&Mel2003 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    I hope you continue to receive positive responses I can't see why they wouldn't seeing its advanced notice.
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  • Pamela718Pamela718
    First Comment
    I'm so sorry to hear this. I understand how you're feeling. As a bride we want everyone we care about to be there so when so many decide not to come it can definitely hurt our feelings. Just remember this is about you and your man. Anyone who is there should consider themselves lucky and blessed to be a part of such a momentous occasion in your life. Try to look at the glass half full - you're closest and most important family will be there. Thats all that matters. And with a smaller wedding it's less expensive and more intimate (another positive). It's too late to change the date and dont stress about the guest list. When the day comes and goes you'll still be marrying the man of your dreams.

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  • Victoria&KenVictoria&Ken member
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    Everything is on your favor. With god's help you would have your dream wedding with out any hassels. You still have time, and vendors will accomodate you. I hope you feel better...Laughing
    "True love is friendship caught on fire" someecards.com - Let's decide who we're inviting to our wedding and who will never speak to us again
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  • JustinandLeeannJustinandLeeann member
    First Comment
    edited February 2012
    Try to see the positive, you can invite friends that you didn't send invitations to because of guest list limits and you're saving a bit of money that you can use on your honeymoon, buying a house, finishing your guest list, starting a savings account, etc. There is always a silver lining!
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  • quiggels219quiggels219
    First Comment
    I'm sorry and I 100% understand how you're feeling. We just sent out the invites and all of fi family is declining (they are from the Midwest too randomly) and it sucks - you put so much time and effort into your wedding and you wish they would make it a priority. We had fi uncle ask the date a yr ago and then a few months back say he planned a trip to the cayman islands instead - it makes you angry and sad. We invited 196 and it looks like 110 will show - sorry to talk about me but I just wanted to show I understand how you're feeling. I really try to focus on who is coming - I have family that really can't afford it but are figuring it out and going anyways because it is important to them and those are the people I am thinking about. It just gives you more time to really see and talk to those people that think "family first" like you do. Your wedding will be amazing and you will cherish the memories you make with those that do show :) xoxo
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  • Priya490Priya490
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    Oh no, I'm so sorry girl!  Don't be sad.  If it makes you feel any better, I'm also running into the same acceptance rate as you.  I've been stressing about this for months because I see how expensive all the flights are into Miami/Ft. Lauderdale.  But at the end of the day, the most important people in you lives will be there for you and wouldn't want to miss your special day.  You guys will all have such an amazing and memorable time with everyone that is there.

    Also, you still have a couple days left to get RSVPs in so I'm sure you're going to get some more yes's!  Our RSVP date was 1/31 and we're STILL getting in RSVPs!  We had to reach out to a bunch of people and even those people who are coming, didn't send in their RSVP yet!  Some said they even sent them, but we never got them in the mail.  So I hope you're feeling better - we're almost at the home stretch! :) 
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  • mrsmustard12mrsmustard12 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I'm so sorry!  I've gotten a lot more no's than I had anticipated as well.  FI's grandfather can't make it from France due to his health.  His aunt was planning on coming from Paris but broke her hip skiing over the weekend.  Also quite a few of my aunts/uncles/cousins that I had expected are not coming.  I know how it feels.  But just don't take it personally and know that they would have loved to have shared this day with you if they could have!!!
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  • plswitzeplswitze member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    thanks everyone :)

    we are definitely feeling better about it today. we are sending a few more invites to coworkers and parent's friends who we couldn't before, and also figured out that if our acceptance rate stays here we will save $5000... so in no way can we be upset about it anymore. everyone made such good points and made me feel so much happier about all the people who are coming. Thanks again girls, you're the best xo.
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  • RaquelSRaquelS member
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    Oh no, this sucks. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. Hopefully the remaining RSVP's out there will all be yes's. 
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