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Wedding Etiquette Forum

NWR RANT: Gift grabby people

This morning I go on Facebook to a PM saying "Im having a baby shower, whats your address so I can send you an invite <3"  This is from a girl I havent spoken to in 7 YEARS! and the last time we spoke I almost left her on the side of the damn Staten Island Expressway. She had never been to 6 flags before so trying to be nice I took her there paying gas, tolls admission and after 1 ride she insisted on leaving because her boyfriend(who from FB is the baby's father) texted her that if she didnt get home he was going to hook up with another girl. Like really?!? what would make you think I want to give a gift to you when through my taxes I'll be paying for her kid anyway?Yell

Re: NWR RANT: Gift grabby people

  • You can always decline the invite!

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  • I would probably just ignore the post.
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  • I know it's just aggrevating because it's so clear it's strictly for a gift, not so much as an apology or a hey let's do lunch and ask me there. There has literally been NO contact since that day, and during the drive she called me a b*tch, an unsupportive friend because I told her it was foolish and she should have told him to do what he wants and enjoyed her day. Obvi any one who would say that is a POS
  • Way to put your judgey pants on with that comment about paying for the kid with your taxes. Just don't respond. No need to make offensive comments.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-rant-gift-grabby-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:075eba25-78d6-4157-a2b2-acd573badb1dPost:e49f62ab-c8ad-4017-8e90-d897d2c1afba">Re:NWR RANT: Gift grabby people</a>:
    [QUOTE]Way to put your judgey pants on with that comment about paying for the kid with your taxes.
    Posted by button6004[/QUOTE]
    How is that judgy? It's a statement of fact.
  • In Response to Re:NWR RANT: Gift grabby people:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:NWR RANT: Gift grabby people:Way to put your judgey pants on with that comment about paying for the kid with your taxes. Posted by button6004How is that judgy? It's a statement of fact. Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]

    Did I miss the part where OP said the friend is on welfare? Whether she is or not, OP shouldn't be choosing to decline the invite to the shower based on her friend's financial situation but rather that they havent spoken in years and it comes off as petty to me to even bring that up.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-rant-gift-grabby-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:075eba25-78d6-4157-a2b2-acd573badb1dPost:f8089c31-6949-444e-8c81-ee193584c1b9">Re:NWR RANT: Gift grabby people</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:NWR RANT: Gift grabby people: Did I miss the part where OP said the friend is on welfare?
    Posted by button6004[/QUOTE]
    You really think parent has to be on welfare in order for their kid(s) to be funded by the taxpayers? lol
  • msuprincess04msuprincess04 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    edited August 2012
    Yeah. I had a friend do this from high school. It's weird. I had spontaneously sent her something for her first child since she was always posting stuff of him in University of Michigan gear and I went to Michigan State. Since then though, she also sent me an invite to the shower of her second kid. I happened to be in town (I live across the country) that weekend so I went. She goes "wow, I never figured you'd actually show up!" I gave her a gift and bailed after an hour. I was the only non-mommy there and she was too busy to catch up (which I understand, and why I offered to take her to lunch the day before instead.) Anyway. It is odd. But if it truely bothers you, then don't respond.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • it may come off as judgy but if you knew her you would understand. Her own family doesnt speak to her because since she started dating this kid she basically became a dirt bag. They both will work little jobs here and there and get fired and sit home and smoke pot all day(words from her family). So i just find it petty to invite me somewhere for a gift, knowing we havent spoken because life choices she's made to be with this kid resulted in our last interaction being a war, In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-rant-gift-grabby-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:075eba25-78d6-4157-a2b2-acd573badb1dPost:f8089c31-6949-444e-8c81-ee193584c1b9">Re:NWR RANT: Gift grabby people</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:NWR RANT: Gift grabby people: Did I miss the part where OP said the friend is on welfare? Whether she is or not, OP shouldn't be choosing to decline the invite to the shower based on her friend's financial situation but rather that they havent spoken in years and it comes off as petty to me to even bring that up.
    Posted by button6004[/QUOTE]
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-rant-gift-grabby-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:075eba25-78d6-4157-a2b2-acd573badb1dPost:fca59d39-aec1-46db-af01-7b93e031a990">Re:NWR RANT: Gift grabby people</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:NWR RANT: Gift grabby people : You really think parent has to be on welfare in order for their kid(s) to be funded by the taxpayers? lol
    Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]

    I'm with Daff.

    Also, here's my Unpop Op for the week - the day they get rid of the "child tax credit" will be a happy day. You chose to have a kid and support it financially. Why should the government give you more money?

    Half of my friends who scream and whine about welfare and food stamps can't wait to fill out their 1040 and claim all three of their dependents and earn thousands toward their tax refund. When I ask why they should be given all that money just for having a kid, they look at me like I have three heads. "But kids cost money!!!" Yeah, well, you knew that when you decided to have kids. It's not news.

    I don't have kids using the schools, roads, and other public services, and not having kids reduces our carbon footprint. Where's <u>my</u> incentive pay via tax credit? How about a "thanks for not procreating" credit?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-rant-gift-grabby-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:075eba25-78d6-4157-a2b2-acd573badb1dPost:ca69ac58-dba0-49ee-8672-75080adcc057">Re:NWR RANT: Gift grabby people</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:NWR RANT: Gift grabby people : I'm with Daff. Also, here's my Unpop Op for the week - the day they get rid of the "child tax credit" will be a happy day. <strong>You chose to have a kid and support it financially. Why should the government give you more money?</strong> Half of my friends who scream and whine about welfare and food stamps can't wait to fill out their 1040 and claim all three of their dependents and earn thousands toward their tax refund. When I ask why they should be given all that money just for having a kid, they look at me like I have three heads. "But kids cost money!!!" Yeah, well, you knew that when you decided to have kids. It's not news. I don't have kids using the schools, roads, and other public services, and not having kids reduces our carbon footprint. Where's my incentive pay via tax credit? How about a "thanks for not procreating" credit?
    Posted by wrigleyville[/QUOTE]

    You ma'am have my vote should you ever run for any political office! ;)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-rant-gift-grabby-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:075eba25-78d6-4157-a2b2-acd573badb1dPost:f5f68398-a390-4917-8575-6f42fd4cf5dd">Re:NWR RANT: Gift grabby people</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:NWR RANT: Gift grabby people : You ma'am have my vote should you ever run for any political office! ;)
    Posted by Jinxed329[/QUOTE]
    Me too! Wrigley, I'm with you 100%. Bravo.
  • you got my vote! In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-rant-gift-grabby-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:075eba25-78d6-4157-a2b2-acd573badb1dPost:ca69ac58-dba0-49ee-8672-75080adcc057">Re:NWR RANT: Gift grabby people</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:NWR RANT: Gift grabby people : I'm with Daff. Also, here's my Unpop Op for the week - the day they get rid of the "child tax credit" will be a happy day. You chose to have a kid and support it financially. Why should the government give you more money? Half of my friends who scream and whine about welfare and food stamps can't wait to fill out their 1040 and claim all three of their dependents and earn thousands toward their tax refund. When I ask why they should be given all that money just for having a kid, they look at me like I have three heads. "But kids cost money!!!" Yeah, well, you knew that when you decided to have kids. It's not news. I don't have kids using the schools, roads, and other public services, and not having kids reduces our carbon footprint. Where's my incentive pay via tax credit? How about a "thanks for not procreating" credit?
    Posted by wrigleyville[/QUOTE]
  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 2012
    Thanks, guys. I'm just tired of (some) people thinking children are a right. No, they are a privilege. Big difference.
  • i would write her back and say opps I don't think you meant to send this to me! : ) 
  • wrigley- that is the funniest sig I've seen in a long time.
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