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Funeral etiquette regarding donation to family

JenGin74JenGin74 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Snarky Brides
We're going to a service tonight for one of the guys in Tim's local that just passed. There was a notice requesting donations in lieu of flowers to be made to the family (I don't think he had life insurance).

Do I just bring a sympathy card with money to the service, or do I mail it to their house? Tim wants to bring the card to the service, but I'm not sure if that's right.

TIA!
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Re: Funeral etiquette regarding donation to family

  • MRSBJSMRSBJS member
    First Comment
    Jen I've seen people bring cards to calling hours - usually there is a tray of some sort sitting at the beginning of the line, with the flowers. You can also ask the funeral director if there is somewhere special they are going, or you can hand them to the family directly.
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  • midgetthemightymidgetthemighty
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    I have also seen trays in the line at layouts for cards at the funeral home. Since the money is going to the family, however, I would mail it to their house for convienence sake for the family.
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  • pirategal03pirategal03 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    I would send the money to their house.  When my mom died I could barely keep up with anything anyone handed me.  It'd suck if it got misplaced at the service.  If you want to bring a card to the service and send the gift to their home I think that'd be okay too. 
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  • LesPaulLesPaul member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    I'm sorry about Tim's friend, Jen.  I would send or bring it to the house.  They don't need something else to keep track of at the service or viewing.
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  • JenGin74JenGin74 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Thanks Ladies!

    I think I'll cover all my bases and bring the card with us tonight and if they don't have a designated area (I didn't know they did this) set up, then I'll just mail it to them tomorrow.
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  • pirategal03pirategal03 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    Good plan.
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  • Bkseller13Bkseller13 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    My thoughts are with you. 
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  • Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    The way our local funeral home does it:

    You give the check or card to the funeral director, and they have a pushpin board with cards that say "The Jengin family made a donation in memory of John Doe"

    The funeral director gives a copy of that to the family so they know who to send thank you cards to. 
    He keeps up with the donations and gives them to the family at the end of the service.  Or, the family can opt to give that money to the funeral home to take directly off the bill.
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