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  • Re: Bridesmaid Drama

    Wow. I’m the one who is not an adult? Way to completely rant on a strangers post. I was just asking for opinions I didn’t need to be treated like garbage. 

    And it’s not just “but my wedding”.... the wedding question came up hours after she told me she wanted to end the friendship. My wedding is in 6 months not 6 years. I don’t want more shit to go wrong and ask her to step down when she’s invested more time and money. 

    My photographer and MUA are related to the BM. Did you not read my post? 

    You have drama issues if you spend your time talking down to people who post in forums asking for advice in a shitty situation. Not me. 

    Easy for people to say they wouldn’t have asked her in the first place. Like you specifically know her.   Besides how is telling me I shouldn’t have asked her in the first place helpful at all? Like I have a time machine to go back and not ask her? TRUST ME. I wish I did 

    Look, you posted on an open forum and gave us the information.  No one was rude to you.  You were given sound, realistic advice.  Once you ask someone to be in your wedding party, you cannot un-ask them.  Period.

    Go over to her house and talk sympathetically and calmly to her.  Do not mention your wedding.  Listen to what she says.  This is what a friend does when her friend is upset and emotional.  Since you asked her to be your bridesmaid, you must have considered her to be your friend, right?  Otherwise, you were just using her to "fill in", which is a very rude and selfish thing for you to have done.
  • Re: Cancel and elope? Help!

    My fiance and I are supposed to be getting married at the end on March. We have been together for about 7 years and have a 1 year old, so basically we are already married at heart, we just want to make it official. I've never been a girl that dreams of her wedding day, so we planned on having a low key reception and ceremony in our neighborhood; getting married along the waterway and the reception was going to be behind my parents' house down the street. 

    A few days ago I went over their house to find the field (reception area) all torn up. Someone (not mentioning names) went back there with a tractor and basically turned it into a mud pit. 

    Now, my mom is offering to pay for a venue and everything that goes with it. But, honestly it's not what I wanted. I wanted a fun backyard party, not this. We had family chefs that we're catering for free, free venue, and basically free alcohol (our good friend is a wine vender). It was supposed to be a fun event with my talented friends and family making it special by contributing to the cause. 

    Simply put, I wanted my people, my amazing friends and family to be able to contribute to make the day amazing. Not some company that is just trying to make money off of me. I mean I'm sure the venue would make everything very nice it's just not as personal or as special. And SO much more expensive.

    The worst part is the invitations have been sent! I feel so sad and upset I just don't know what to do. Is it bad if I send a letter to everyone letting them know we have decided to cancel and elope? I need to decide soon! Please help!

    Oh, my!  You expected friends and family to do your wedding for you?  No!  Really bad idea!   They are your guests, not your worker bees!

    If you are hosting your own wedding, YOU are responsible for all the arrangements, including food and drink.  This is basic wedding etiquette 101.  You never ask anyone else to contribute either money or work for your wedding.  Your plans were very improper.

    Now that your Mom has so graciously offered to pay for a venue for a proper wedding, she can be the host.  You are so lucky that she offered this!  Many couples pay for their own wedding all by themselves.

    You have some choices to make.  Assuming that you do not want to have your wedding as you had planned (and you SHOULDN'T!), then you send cancellation notices to everyone who received an invitation.

    "The wedding of Bride and Groom
     will not take place as previously announced."

    That's it!  No explanations.  Word of mouth will travel.

    Now you decide what you want to do.  Either elope and send out marriage announcements as soon as you are married, or thank your mother and plan a polite wedding that does not impose on friends and family members.  You can schedule a new date and send out new invitations.

    Here is wording for a marriage announcement if you decide that you would prefer to elope.  It is sent out AFTER you are married.  No other information should be included.

    Bride's Full Name
    Groom's Full Name
    announce their marriage
    Date of ceremony
    City, State

    You can always have a casual party to celebrate your marriage at a different time, but no wedding traditions.
  • Re: Bridesmaid Drama

    Your original post is not calm at all.  It is filled with strong emotion.  It is OK to be upset, but to consider kicking a bridesmaid out of your wedding party is just not OK at all.

    I hope you can focus on helping your friend instead of your own emotions.  Things might look better for you in the morning.
  • Re: Funny Invite for Reception, Ceremony is Family Only

    IMHO, "funny" wedding invitations are in poor taste and are disrespectful to the occasion and to the guests.  Please don't do this.
    Here is traditional wording:

    The pleasure of your company is requested
    at the wedding reception of
    Bride's Full Name
    Groom's Full Name
    Day, date
    at half after four o'clock
    Venue Name
    City, State

    This wording makes it very clear that you are inviting guests to the reception only.  Expect a lot of declines.
    Here is a more contemporary wording:

    You are invited to attend
    the wedding reception of
    Bride's Full Name
    Groom's Full Name

    It is not proper to write any details about the ceremony to which your guests are NOT invited.  "Private ceremony" should not be on the invitation.  As I said, expect a lot of declines.

  • Re: Cancel and elope? Help!

    Yeah it’s ridiculous and rude to cancel. Let your mom pay! Enjoy it! Enjoy that your friends and family all get to enjoy the day as guests instead of working!
    No, it isn't rude to cancel a wedding, as long as you give enough notice.