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Wait till we graduate?
Students
Wait till we graduate?
Trying to balance school and wedding planning? Chat with others in the same situation.
So my FI and I just recently got engaged and told our families. The problem is that most of them want us to wait till we are finished with college. I will graduate in May but my FI isn't sure it could
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Students
Wait till we graduate?
Trying to balance school and wedding planning? Chat with others in the same situation.
So my FI and I just recently got engaged and told our families. The problem is that most of them want us to wait till we are finished with college. I will graduate in May but my FI isn't sure it could
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Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684
Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:9b6ebc26-1c75-43ae-b964-73670f905de1
Forums  >  Special Topic Wedding Boards  >  Students  >  Wait till we graduate?
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Wait till we graduate?

posted at 1/11/2012 4:23 PM EST on theknot.com
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 So my FI and I just recently got engaged and told our families. The problem is that most of them want us to wait till we are finished with college. I will graduate in May but my FI isn't sure it could be anywhere from 2-5 more years of school. we have already been together 4 years and I don't think it should matter when and want to get married sometime 2013. The person I worry about breaking this info to is my future MIL because she is using our engagement to hurry him into finishing school which I also think is wrong. Does anyone have any advice on how I can tell her this without her completely freaking out? Or is it a better decision to follow her advice and wait?
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Re: Wait till we graduate?

posted at 1/11/2012 4:33 PM EST on theknot.com
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 Perhaps make a sort of "compromise." Wait until after you graduate, and maybe do it over one of his breaks? That may make her feel a little better.
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Re: Wait till we graduate?

posted at 1/11/2012 6:47 PM EST on theknot.com
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 I have the same issue! I am a sophomore and so is he. He is a little older than me because he just recently became a marine veteran. My father, aunts, uncles, and grandparents and his parents all want us to wait until we finish school which could be 2 or 3 years for both of us. We have already been engaged over a year and want to get married in 2013. We finally just decided to start making plans for it and shoot for the date we want and see what happens. Yes its not what our families want but it is OUR life and we have to start making decisions for ourselves. I sympathize with you about pleasing the family and it is hard to find a balance but you cannot make everyone happy. Go for the day you want and like jbrobst said plan it during the summer or on one of his breaks so he won't be pressured with schoolwork that needs to get done on your big day. And that will also hopefully put his mother a little more at ease about his performance in school.   
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Re: Wait till we graduate?

posted at 1/11/2012 9:58 PM EST on theknot.com
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 I don't know what degree's you and your fiance are pursuing, but i would recommend maybe comprosmise and get married once the Bachelor's are done. That way you're parents could probably feel okay that you and your fiance can survive on your own but still have the option for Masters School maybe. 

If, however, you and your fiance already have your Bachelor's degree then I say get married when you are both ready for it financially etc. I'd still wait until you at least graduate so you don't have school and wedding planning to fret over. Your family's will come around if this is what you and he go with. 

Good luck to you!
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Re: Wait till we graduate?

posted at 1/12/2012 10:48 AM EST on theknot.com
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 In Response to Re: Wait till we graduate?:
I don't know what degree's you and your fiance are pursuing, but i would recommend maybe comprosmise and get married once the Bachelor's are done. That way you're parents could probably feel okay that you and your fiance can survive on your own but still have the option for Masters School maybe.  If, however, you and your fiance already have your Bachelor's degree then I say get married when you are both ready for it financially etc. I'd still wait until you at least graduate so you don't have school and wedding planning to fret over. Your family's will come around if this is what you and he go with.  Good luck to you!
Posted by Bay21


I agree with this.
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Re: Wait till we graduate?

posted at 1/12/2012 11:01 AM EST on theknot.com
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 I was in this situation except my fiancé is graduating in May and I still have 1 1/2 years till I'm done with my bachelors. We both want to pursue higher degrees as well. We have been together four years and when deciding on a date I didn't want to wait until 2014. My Dad wanted us to wait until I was graduated. But we decided to do it the summer before because it was what we really wanted. So both of our families were very supportive when we explained our reasonings. Just assure them that it will not be interfering with school. That's a priority that needs to be at the top of the list to make it easier in the long run. This is about you so this is a time you get to have it your way.
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Re: Wait till we graduate?

posted at 1/15/2012 2:15 AM EST on theknot.com
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 In Response to Re: Wait till we graduate?:
I was in this situation except my fiancé is graduating in May and I still have 1 1/2 years till I'm done with my bachelors. We both want to pursue higher degrees as well. We have been together four years and when deciding on a date I didn't want to wait until 2014. My Dad wanted us to wait until I was graduated. But we decided to do it the summer before because it was what we really wanted. So both of our families were very supportive when we explained our reasonings. Just assure them that it will not be interfering with school. That's a priority that needs to be at the top of the list to make it easier in the long run. This is about you so this is a time you get to have it your way.
Posted by kruth05


I agree with assuring your parents that school will still be a priority.  My FI and I are getting married in June and we were engaged the summer after my sophmore year.  I am graduating a week before the wedding and my FI still has another year to go.  Although my parents were worried about us being financially stable and unfocused on school, everything has worked out and now they couldn't be happier.
"The dress upped the ante."
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Re: Wait till we graduate?

posted at 1/15/2012 3:05 AM EST on theknot.com
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 I still have 2-3 years to go after we get married, but FI has a stable job, i would probably say that since you are finishing in may, maybe wait till you have a job secured and know you have an income comeing from somewhere, I know at least here being married effects the kind of student loans and stuff you can get, and it would stink to live your first years of marriage being super stressed about money or not having enough (not that you have to wait for your dream job, but just till a reliable paycheck is coming in every 2 weeks). I know if FI wasnt working full time we wouldnt be getting married now and would be waiting till i finish.
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Re: Wait till we graduate?

posted at 1/15/2012 2:13 PM EST on theknot.com
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 Ok heres my story. My FI wanted to get married and I said no not until I graduate. He had graduated 3 years before me. I just told him school FT, work FT + 1 PT, student teaching, and planning a wedding would be too much for me. So we waited and he proposed the summer after I graduated (Dec grad).
Anyways, long story short, I am now struggling because I have been planning this wedding and I feel bad because he's pretty much paying our share on his own because I just found a job (doesnt pay very well) and now my student loans are kicking into payment. Its a headache and then some. So I would say sit down and kind of lay out your timelines so you dont get in the same prediciment as us.
Its not a huge deal but it is SUPER stressful and it could affect school on his behalf. However, if you wait you could run into the issue of not having any sort of funding for your wedding. In the end it is your decision when you guys want to get married and I would maybe have him talk to his mom so it doesnt cause problems between you and her. Just reassure her that he has every intention to finish school and that its not like youre not going to rush into having kids after your wedding. Maybe thats what theyre afraid of? Say we want to get married but we dont want to start a family until we are both done with school. Just out of curiosity, how old are the two of you?
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