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Disagree about vows

Vows

Disagree about vows

Share your vows here to create an easy reference vow library for other Knotties.

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Vows

Disagree about vows

Share your vows here to create an easy reference vow library for other Knotties.

Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:24

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Forums > Special Topic Wedding Boards > Vows > Disagree about vows

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Disagree about vows

posted at 10/23/2011 8:38 PM EDT on theknot.com

cmacc

Joined on
10-22-2011
NORTHEAST OHIO

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Posts: 3

First: 10/23/2011

Last: 10/25/2011

He wants the traditional vows. His basis: he wants to repeat the same traditional words his grandparents said to each other at the beginning of their 60+ year long marriage. I want to write our own vows. My basis: I feel like the traditional vows might as well be us reading off a hallmark card to each other, words someone else wrote. I want to be able to personalize it, to make it our own. How do we come to an agreement??

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Re: Disagree about vows

posted at 10/24/2011 8:45 AM EDT on theknot.com

Flirt01

Joined on
08-16-2011
NORTH CAROLINA

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Last: 1/20/2012

My fi and I are in the same boat. He is traditional, I am very untraditional. I decided that I want to write my own vows, and he wants to do the traditional, so we are going to do what we want. I am worried it may be a little odd, but oh well...this way we will both be happy!

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Re: Disagree about vows

posted at 10/25/2011 4:49 AM EDT on theknot.com

vexie

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Posts: 884

First: 3/1/2011

Last: 5/19/2012

Why not do both? We did :) First we repeated the traditional vows with the officiant, then we were given the time to speak to each other from the heart. It was beautiful!

Wedding date: June 11, 2011 :)

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Re: Disagree about vows

posted at 10/25/2011 7:30 PM EDT on theknot.com

cmacc

Joined on
10-22-2011
NORTHEAST OHIO

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Posts: 3

First: 10/23/2011

Last: 10/25/2011

Yeah, I brought that up and he isn't comfortable writing his own AND really wants the traditional. I don't know what to do, because I just cannot make the traditional stuff mean something to me. I feel like it doesn't say all the things I want it to. But I don't want him to be uncomfortable either....

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Re: Disagree about vows

posted at 10/25/2011 9:56 PM EDT on theknot.com

DCGellfling

Joined on
08-28-2011
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First: 9/20/2011

Last: 10/25/2011

Would he be okay with you writing your own vows and then going into the traditional vows while he only does the traditional vows, or is he willing to let you write personal vows that both of you say before saying the traditional vows? They won't be a surprise that way (I wouldn't do the second version without giving him some editorial control), but they'll still be meaningful to you and he gets his meaningful tradition.

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Re: Disagree about vows

posted at 10/27/2011 1:02 PM EDT on theknot.com

morenachica110

Joined on
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SOUTH CAROLINA

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Last: 5/24/2012

In Response to Re: Disagree about vows:

I would have him do the traditional and you write your own. If it means so much to him, then wouldn't making him write his own sounds fake too? FI isn't comfortable writing his own vows so we're going to work with the officiant to come up with something unique to us, but something that we don't have so much pressure on. Good luck!

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