HUGE DILEMMA!!!

smikkles · March 2010

OMG!!! I don't know why I didn't check on this beforehand but we have booked a honeymoon to Cancun and my fiance can not get a passport due to child support arrears!!! What do I do? Any suggestions?

TIA

lyndausvi · March 2010

cancel the honeymoon to Cancun???

You should still be able go to Puerto Rico or the USVI because you do not need passports to go there. Or of course just stay in the states.

ETA or what I would do is pay the CS, but is just me.

tinydancer842 · March 2010

pay the child support instead of paying for frikkin HM!

pandasquishy · March 2010

You're marrying a guy who doesn't pay his child support? I agree, pay that and skip the HM.

smikkles · March 2010

I didn't post this for you to judge me or my fiance! You don't know the situation or anything about it! Good gosh! Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones! NONE of you are perfect!

lyndausvi · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_huge-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:0f6a1667-0cb9-4afd-b61f-833f391aedd1Post:a079046e-ef5d-4a61-9968-4bbd06fae360">Re: HUGE DILEMMA!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't post this for you to judge me or my fiance! You don't know the situation or anything about it! Good gosh! Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones! NONE of you are perfect!
Posted by smikkles[/QUOTE]

True... but I can tell you I would not be taking a honeymoon if my DH owed CS. Actully I'm not sure I would marry someone who owed CS, that is a huge chacater flaw to me.

tinydancer842 · March 2010

I work in family law & there is no excuse not to pay child support. it wasn't the child's fault there was a divorce -- no reason they should suffer. if you have money to pay for a HM you have money to pay child support. pay what you are legally obligated to do so first THEN pay for a luxury.

kaesha · March 2010

Cancel your honeymoon. No passport = no escaping the country.

duckie1905 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_huge-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:0f6a1667-0cb9-4afd-b61f-833f391aedd1Post:a079046e-ef5d-4a61-9968-4bbd06fae360">Re: HUGE DILEMMA!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't post this for you to judge me or my fiance! You don't know the situation or anything about it! Good gosh! Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones! NONE of you are perfect!
Posted by smikkles[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm pretty sure that I'm okay with judging someone that doesn't pay his child support. That is such an uber-crappy thing to do.</div><div>
</div><div>True, we don't know the situation. But, I'm pretty sure the money you are putting towards your wedding and honeymoon would be better spent providing for his child.</div><div>
</div><div>There is a reason that non-payers can't get passports. I suggest re-evaluating the character of a man that doesn't own up to his responsibilities.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

meaganbrand · March 2010

so what if we don't know the reasons why he hasnt paid.. whether he hates his ex or whatever.. he chose to do the deed and a child was created. therefore he is financiallly responsible as a man for that child. how dare him not take care of his child.. there's NO excuse for that. sooooo he doesn't deserve a honeymoon in my book. and in the words of my FI.. "he's a douche bag"

the end

AmoroAgain · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_huge-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:0f6a1667-0cb9-4afd-b61f-833f391aedd1Post:d75b820b-4b58-4a5c-9a7f-fd60c9b46e77">Re: HUGE DILEMMA!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]so what if we don't know the reasons why he hasnt paid.. whether he hates his ex or whatever.. he chose to do the deed and a child was created. therefore he is financiallly responsible as a man for that child. how dare him not take care of his child.. there's NO excuse for that. sooooo he doesn't deserve a honeymoon in my book. and in the words of my FI.. "he's a douche bag" the end
Posted by meaganbrand[/QUOTE]

Indeed.

OP, your FI is a diick.

lizstill13 · March 2010

Cancel the honeymoon. End. Of. Story.

pag41989 · March 2010

Ditto the other PPs. FI went through that issue with his father when he was little. FI's mother ended up just telling him to not bother with it. IMO I would never marry a man that owes child support.

DanielleD7782 · March 2010

Theres a program for guys like him called Dead Beat Dads....they will find him and come after him.

MNVegas · March 2010

I can't believe you are worrying about a HM when you FI owes money to support his own child. What man puts a trip before his child???

alithebride · March 2010

LOL wait a second. You posted on a public message board that your FI can't get a passport because he hasn't paid child support (and is in arrears) and you're wondering what to do about your HM?
Do you not realize how amazingly stupid this sounds?
Cancel the Fing HM and pay up!

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_huge-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:0f6a1667-0cb9-4afd-b61f-833f391aedd1Post:445f4230-ce98-458c-980f-b2c2999e90e3">HUGE DILEMMA!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]OMG!!! I don't know why I didn't check on this beforehand but we have booked a honeymoon to Cancun and my fiance can not get a passport due to child support arrears!!! What do I do? Any suggestions? TIA
Posted by smikkles[/QUOTE]

<div>Your FI is a dirt bag, and you shouldn't marry him. There is no situation where it is ok to just not pay your child support. If there was a legitimate reason why he shouldn't have to pay it, he could go to court and modify it. There is no excuse.</div><div>
</div><div>There's a reason the government has such strict consequences for dead beat dads. There's just no excuse for being this selfish and ignoring your responsibility, your child. Dead beat dads are the lowest form of human being. </div>

jagore08 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_huge-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:0f6a1667-0cb9-4afd-b61f-833f391aedd1Post:a079046e-ef5d-4a61-9968-4bbd06fae360">Re: HUGE DILEMMA!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't post this for you to judge me or my fiance! You don't know the situation or anything about it! Good gosh! Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones! NONE of you are perfect!
Posted by smikkles[/QUOTE]

<div><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Times;font-size:medium;line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;">If you didn't want people to judge (which EVERYONE judges people whether they mean to or not!) then you shouldn't have put your extremely personal business on a public forum. Does your FI appreciate you put him our there like this?</div></span></div>

jagore08 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_huge-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:0f6a1667-0cb9-4afd-b61f-833f391aedd1Post:445f4230-ce98-458c-980f-b2c2999e90e3">HUGE DILEMMA!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]OMG!!! I don't know why I didn't check on this beforehand but we have booked a honeymoon to Cancun and my fiance can not get a passport due to child support arrears!!! What do I do? Any suggestions? TIA
Posted by smikkles[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>I see her deleting very soon!</div>

BecW2be · March 2010

But guuuys, he's really an awesome person, all but this little child support thing. How dare you girls tell her she shouldn't have a honeymoon!!!11!!!!1!!1!!1!

mushE · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_huge-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:0f6a1667-0cb9-4afd-b61f-833f391aedd1Post:84055577-7443-4b36-b577-34deebaf64fa">Re: HUGE DILEMMA!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: HUGE DILEMMA!!! : I'm sure this is true, but it's still wrong to try and take a lavish honeymoon before paying those bills!
Posted by pandasquishy[/QUOTE]

I'm not at all saying that OP should take a "lavish honeymoon" before paying her FI's back child support. I clearly said that her only option is to pay his balance to zero before he can get his passport.

My point is that most of the posts were fairly harsh on her FI, and the reality is that not all people who owe back child support are deadbeats.

AmoroAgain · March 2010

Sure, there are plenty of reasons, but clearly OP's more interested in having her princess party and princess honeymoon than taking care of business. If he really WEREN'T a deadbeat dad, there would never be a consideration of what they were paying for- the back money he owes wouldn't be going towards a wedding or a honeymoon. I call deadbeat dad AND selfish bride.

maratea · March 2010

There shouldn't be any HM, much less a lavish one. Having a child means taking on a lot of responsibility. I'm sure that didn't cross his mind whilest getting busy with baby momma, but consequently, there is a child that needs support, even if it's only monetary, from a father. Don't be another deadbeat statistic.

[Deleted User] · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_huge-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:0f6a1667-0cb9-4afd-b61f-833f391aedd1Post:612834ec-d378-42b6-b66c-c22a44f7b8f5">Re: HUGE DILEMMA!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Sure, there are plenty of reasons, but clearly OP's more interested in having her princess party and princess honeymoon than taking care of business. <strong>If he really WEREN'T a deadbeat dad, there would never be a consideration of what they were paying for- the back money he owes wouldn't be going towards a wedding or a honeymoon. I call deadbeat dad AND selfish bride.</strong>
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

This exactly. If she had posted something along the lines of "I'm so sad, I just found out that FI owes child support and now we've got to forgo the HM in order to pay it", I don't think people would have been as harsh.

OP sounds like she couldn't care less about the fact that he hasn't been taking care of his children financially. She just wants to make sure that she gets her little vacation.

RachaelWall · March 2010

Pay the balance to zero.... then apply for the passport. Problem solved.

vgmartinez · March 2010

Like someone said above, there are many reasons for the "child support arrears". Maybe he did just find out about it. I don't see where OP said "What do I do? I want to have my lavish honeymoon so badly but cannot because FI hasn't paid up! How can we fix this so I can get my pretty princess trip?" She didn't mention anything about still going on the trip....she could've been asking how she can get their money back from booking or what they can do now that they need that money for the child support.

That beign said, I wouldn't want to start a marriage out owing child support so I would definitely take care of that before doing anything.

jagore08 · March 2010

"I don't see where OP said "What do I do?""

OP: What do I do?

I do believe she asked exactly, "What do I do?"

"I want to have my lavish honeymoon so badly but cannot because FI hasn't paid up! How can we fix this so I can get my pretty princess trip?" She didn't mention anything about still going on the trip....she could've been asking how she can get their money back from booking or what they can do now that they need that money for the child support."

OP: OMG!!! I don't know why I didn't check on this beforehand but we have booked a honeymoon to Cancun and my fiance can not get a passport due to child support arrears!!! What do I do? Any suggestions? TIA

^This right here is saying that she still wants her honeymoon she just wants to find a way of doing it because her FI can't leave the country.

And BTW, she asked for suggestion and people gave them. It's pretty unanimous that the suggestion is to have her FI worry more about the back owed child support than what they're going to do for their honeymoon.

jagore08 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_huge-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:0f6a1667-0cb9-4afd-b61f-833f391aedd1Post:6de70b83-8e07-4f8c-9220-76b1879d0ca6">Re: HUGE DILEMMA!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Like someone said above, there are many reasons for the "child support arrears". Maybe he did just find out about it. I don't see where OP said "What do I do? I want to have my lavish honeymoon so badly but cannot because FI hasn't paid up! How can we fix this so I can get my pretty princess trip?" She didn't mention anything about still going on the trip....she could've been asking how she can get their money back from booking or what they can do now that they need that money for the child support. That beign said, I wouldn't want to start a marriage out owing child support so I would definitely take care of that before doing anything.
Posted by vgmartinez[/QUOTE]

ffbride_0813 · March 2010

You should pay the child support and get a passport for FI or cancel the vacation or go on vacation with someone else who can leave the country legally. Or you can find a way to get him illegally over the border to Cancun and hope they let him back in the US.

CTGirl30 · March 2010

What to do? FI should pay the child support he owes. If that means you don't get a HM b/c all the money needs to go to that, then you don't get a HM. Sorry. But I honestly cannot think of one reason why a child should be denied the financial support their father legally owes them in favor of you two being able to go on an unnecessary vacation.

OR he can continue to owe the balance on his child support and you two take a lovely trip somewhere within the US borders.

Only you know which choice you can live with. But I think if you pick #2 the entire board is justified in judging you. Not paying CS is a pretty strong statement about a man's character.

sarabellam · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_huge-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:0f6a1667-0cb9-4afd-b61f-833f391aedd1Post:a079046e-ef5d-4a61-9968-4bbd06fae360">Re: HUGE DILEMMA!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't post this for you to judge me or my fiance! You don't know the situation or anything about it! Good gosh! Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones! NONE of you are perfect!
Posted by smikkles[/QUOTE]

You have GOT to be kidding. You would seriously marry a man who is more worried about taking his precious widdle princess on her dream fuckfest in Mexico rather than support his own children? Good luck with that one. We'll be hearing from you in a few years, complaining bitterly that your ex-husband hasn't paid his child support and you can't afford to get braces put on your child's teeth.

HUGE DILEMMA!!!

Re: HUGE DILEMMA!!!

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