a... different approach to dollar dance.

Mattz · September 2012

So my fiancee and I were laying in bed thinking of different ideas instead of a dollar dance and I had a fun/funny/different idea for it. Paintballs. I always enjoy doing things that are different and creative so I had the idea of getting hit with paintballs. We would announce that in lou of the dollar dance we would be collecting money if people wanted. If we hit a certain amount say 100-150 I would get hit with 5 paintballs. 150-200 8, 200-250 11, etc etc. If people really wanted to donate alot for $20 they could shoot me 2 times. This way people dont have to wait in line to dance, they dont donate if they dont want to and it would make it a little bit more fun. Everyone loves to watch people make an ass out of themselves and seeing someone get hit by paintballs would defaintly be a funny thing to see. Plus the pictures would be pretty funny. So ideas? Thoughts?

AdeleDazeem · September 2012

You want to get hit with paintballs in your wedding attire?

You want people to *shoot* things at you at your wedding?

With all due respect, I'm sitting here thinking "What?"

Don't "raise money" at your wedding. Just skip the dollar dance or money aspects all together and have a great time. Some people just ask for well wishes instead of dollars (much classier).

Also, it's "in lieu" - not "in lou." :-)

Mattz · September 2012

Well I would be putting things on over my tux and honestly if it makes my guests laugh and have a good time I have no problem getting shot. It would be memorable and good for a laugh, plus like I said it would make for some funny/good pictures. If you dont mind me asking, how old are you? about 75% the people who will be attending will be 27-29 years old so I think they would enjoy it. Honestly I want them to be like wait.. what, because it really is out of the ordinary.

[Deleted User] · September 2012

I don't think this is a very good idea. And FYI dollar dances are rude. If you want to still do it and NOT be rude to your guests have them write well wishes to you and your groom that they can bring up and exchange for a dance. It's still the same sentiment without making them open their wallets.

*My apologies, you and your bride.

AdeleDazeem · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_a-different-approach-to-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a448a371-6422-412e-ba79-85c2f4259da1Post:b3699453-0688-47b1-ab84-3770905062ca">Re: a... different approach to dollar dance.</a>:
[QUOTE]Well I would be putting things on over my tux and honestly if it makes my guests laugh and have a good time I have no problem getting shot. It would be memorable and good for a laugh, plus like I said it would make for some funny/good pictures. If you dont mind me asking, how old are you? about 75% the people who will be attending will be 27-29 years old so I think they would enjoy it. Honestly I want them to be like wait.. what, because it really is out of the ordinary.
Posted by Mattz[/QUOTE]

I'm 32. I'm well aware of paintball and why it's fun, but I don't think it's appropriate at a wedding. I also don't think fund raising in any form is appropriate at a wedding. The dollar dance has actual culture ties to the Polish, which I think is fine. But, replacing it with something else or trying to force a dollar dance even if you have no ties to the culture isn't the best idea.

J&K10910 · September 2012

Have you ever been shot with a paintball?

J&K10910 · September 2012

I'm 26 and my H is 29 and we both think it's stupid and would side-eye it hardcore, and take that opportunity to get some fresh air if we were there. And we're in an area where the dollar dance is very common.

Mattz · September 2012

I realize that dollar dances are rude, thats why I am choosing not to do it. Dollar dances put people on the spot and make them feel that they need to give, the way we would present this in a way that people dont feel the need to give money. When its all said and done, she will probably shoot me anyway because it will be funny.

JordanF13 > apologies for what?

J&K10910 > Yes, I am an advid paintballer and so are my friends. Stupid hu? Well thanks for your helpful and creative feedback.

We can go ahead and close this thread. Feel this is the wrong place for me to ask questions. Thanks to who replied.

Avion22 · September 2012

Weddings are not fundraisers. If people want to give you money, they will put it in an envelope and leave it in your card basket. Please don't try to raise money by offering to get hit with paintballs.

zitiqueen · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_a-different-approach-to-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a448a371-6422-412e-ba79-85c2f4259da1Post:0498cd54-5e54-4878-b6c2-e4551e9a0d6d">Re: a... different approach to dollar dance.</a>:
[QUOTE]I realize that dollar dances are rude, thats why I am choosing not to do it. Dollar dances put people on the spot and make them feel that they need to give, the way we would present this in a way that people dont feel the need to give money. When its all said and done, she will probably shoot me anyway because it will be funny. JordanF13 /> apologies for what? J&K10910 > Yes, I am an advid paintballer and so are my friends. Stupid hu? Well thanks for your helpful and creative feedback.<strong> We can go ahead and close this thread</strong>. Feel this is the wrong place for me to ask questions. Thanks to who replied.
Posted by Mattz[/QUOTE]

And we can go ahead and keep responding. Just because we didn't tell you what you wanted to hear doesn't make this the wrong place for you to ask questions.

If you agree dollar dances are rude, just don't do anything. Period.

J&K10910 · September 2012

I guess I don't understand how you DON'T think this will put people on the spot and make them feel obligated to give.

Mattz · September 2012

wow, zitiqueen with posts as helpful as that I can see why you have 3485 posts. I can only imagine how many of those are full of knowledge and helpful insight.

I honestly thought this site would be full of kindhearted people with helpful criticism.. way off base there. So plese feel free to keep posting, I have already asked for it to be closed.

I might be from a different place but every wedding I've ever been to I knew I was going to give money for the dollar dance, whetherI bought a $20 gift or a $200 gift. This way they will actually get something out of it.

MrsGandthebeag · September 2012

Yep, dumb idea. Don't do it. It's rude to ask for money. It hurts to get hit with a paintball. Your venue probably won't appreciate the mess. Even if you put something over your tux/suit, it could still bleed through.

ZeroOrchestra · September 2012

If you want to do the paintball, then do it but don't include anything about money.

JoanE2012 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_a-different-approach-to-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:a448a371-6422-412e-ba79-85c2f4259da1Post:0498cd54-5e54-4878-b6c2-e4551e9a0d6d">Re: a... different approach to dollar dance.</a>:
[QUOTE]I realize that dollar dances are rude, thats why I am choosing not to do it. Dollar dances put people on the spot and make them feel that they need to give, the way we would present this in a way that people dont feel the need to give money. When its all said and done, she will probably shoot me anyway because it will be funny. JordanF13 /> apologies for what? J&K10910 /> Yes, I am an advid paintballer and so are my friends. Stupid hu? Well thanks for your helpful and creative feedback. We can go ahead and close this thread. Feel this is the wrong place for me to ask questions. Thanks to who replied.
Posted by Mattz[/QUOTE]

Collecting money as a fundraiser to be hit with paintballs is just as tacky and rude as a dollar dance. In fact, I would think the paintball was even tackier. It's a wedding, not a carnival.

banana468 · September 2012

I'm not understanding how this is less rude than paintball. If anything it's ruder and more inappropriate. Aside from the rudness in asking, I wouldn't be down for turning the wedding into a paintball event.

GoodLuckBear14 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_a-different-approach-to-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:a448a371-6422-412e-ba79-85c2f4259da1Post:b3699453-0688-47b1-ab84-3770905062ca">Re: a... different approach to dollar dance.</a>:
[QUOTE]Well I would be putting things on over my tux and honestly if it makes my guests laugh and have a good time I have no problem getting shot. It would be memorable and good for a laugh, plus like I said it would make for some funny/good pictures. If you dont mind me asking, how old are you? about 75% the people who will be attending will be 27-29 years old so I think they would enjoy it. Honestly I want them to be like wait.. what, because it really is out of the ordinary.
Posted by Mattz[/QUOTE]

People won't be laughing. The table conversations will be something like this:

"WTF?!?!"
"They're idiots"
"WTF are they thinking!?!?!?"
"One of those paintballs hits me I'm going to kick somebody's ass!"

J&K10910 · September 2012

Oh, that's an excellent point: Have you asked your venue about this? I can't imagine many venues saying "Yeah, ok, you can shoot paintballs in here!"

AdeleDazeem · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_a-different-approach-to-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a448a371-6422-412e-ba79-85c2f4259da1Post:0498cd54-5e54-4878-b6c2-e4551e9a0d6d">Re: a... different approach to dollar dance.</a>:
[QUOTE]I realize that dollar dances are rude, thats why I am choosing not to do it.
Posted by Mattz[/QUOTE]

I don't think you know why dollar dances are rude if you think asking for money to be hit with paintballs is a good alternative.

We did give you helpful feedback; it just wasn't what you wanted to hear.

MyNameIsNot · September 2012

Selling your guests the opportunity to shoot paintballs at you goes so far beyond rude. This might be the trashiest thing I've ever heard.

I think you should do this. It will probably get you a spot on redneck weddings or some other reality show devoted to people with no self respect who will do anything for a couple of bucks. People love to watch how low other people will go to get money for nothing. If you're going to make a complete ass of yourself, you might as well go for broke and make tv money too.

Mattz · September 2012

I actually own my own venue so yeah.. its fine.

Everyone on this site must be the greatest most insightful people on the planet.. So glad I found it. To know who I am, my friends are, the way we think, what we think is funny, to be able to get into our heads only after a few posts.. man. Im amazed. Has anyone ever thought I want it to be a carnival? Yeah lets just do a standard boring wedding, that sounds like an amazing idea. This is why im on the wrong site, everyone here must have the most boring weddings ever, and obviously seeing how we all know each other so well I can make that assumption with 100% accuracy. Lets see 10x more posts saying how this is tacky and a stupid idea cause that hasnt been said yet.

MyNameIsNot > Trashiest thing you've ever heard hu? Its so hard to go off on people like you. God forbid I want my guests to have a laugh. Now that I think of it Im just gonna go ahead and have it outside, cutoff camo shirts, natty light, and everyone can bring their guns and we can shoot them in the air while we have sex with our sisters. 8026 and this has to be one of the best you've done. Stupid. Instead of posting next time go play in traffic.

Joy2611 > Yes some of you did and I apprecaite those posts. The other 90% who just rehash the same post saying its tacky, stupid, Redneckish are the ones I am annoyed with. I can apprecaite people who say it in a decent way that doesnt come off as an ass who are so high on their mountain I am amazed they can see my post all the way down here.

artbyallie · September 2012

Dude, you are not listening. The point is that it's rude to hit your guests up for money in any form. Also, I agree that paintballing the groom at a wedding is stupid, and for the record I'm 25. It will be messy and weird. Paintball does not go with formalwear. And fundraisers do not belong at weddings.

And I highly doubt any of us had boring weddings. My reception was 50's diner themed, which was my husband's idea. We did not have any sort of dollar dance because they're stupid and rude. Our guests loved our wedding. If you're just going to insult people who disagree with your ideas, then you're right that you probably should not be posting them here.

banana468 · September 2012

Do you think that everyone who disagreed with you had a boring wedding?

Lilshell812 · September 2012

I'm 28...and I think it would be awkward and weird. I imagine my grandmom trying to handle a paintball gun and I frown. You might think it's a good idea but you're guests might not. Just sayin'

Mattz · September 2012

Dude I am listening.. Everyone on here thinks the dollar dance is rude. What do you want me to be like "oh man cause everyones perfect argument saying that the idea is stupid, tacky, calling the idea redneck-ish, im totally gonna change my idea and not do it" No. Fact. We will be doing some type of fundraiser. Be that the dollar dance, paintball, hat game, randsom.. whatever. You keeping calling it tacky and rude like I care. Its tradition. As for your 50's themed party. To me thats freaking stupid but we obviously have difffernt views. And as for "If you're just going to insult people who disagree with your ideas, then you're right that you probably should not be posting them here." Really... Your talking to everyone else in this thread right? Cause I alone am not insulting people. Infact why are people posting in here anyways.. obviously everyone in this forum thinks its "stupid & tacky".. oh thats right, so they can get their post count higher because as we all know higher post count = smarter/cooler

"Lilshell812 > 'm 28...and I think it would be awkward and weird. I imagine my grandmom trying to handle a paintball gun and I frown. You might think it's a good idea but you're guests might not. Just sayin'"

Please not this post, didnt say it was stupid, made their point of view known without insulting the poster. So GJ, seriously.

Avion22 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_a-different-approach-to-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a448a371-6422-412e-ba79-85c2f4259da1Post:0f476482-4b89-4d82-88ef-f4ceeed11e2c">Re: a... different approach to dollar dance.</a>:
[QUOTE]Dude I am listening.. Everyone on here thinks the dollar dance is rude. What do you want me to be like "oh man cause everyones perfect argument saying that the idea is stupid, tacky, calling the idea redneck-ish, im totally gonna change my idea and not do it" No. Fact. <strong>We will be doing some type of fundraiser.</strong> Be that the dollar dance, paintball, hat game, randsom.. whatever. You keeping calling it tacky and rude like I care. Its tradition. As for your 50's themed party. To me thats freaking stupid but we obviously have difffernt views. And as for "If you're just going to insult people who disagree with your ideas, then you're right that you probably should not be posting them here." Really... Your talking to everyone else in this thread right? <strong>Cause I alone am not insulting people.</strong> Infact why are people posting in here anyways.. obviously everyone in this forum thinks its "stupid & tacky".. oh thats right, so they can get their post count higher because as we all know higher post count = smarter/cooler "Lilshell812 > 'm 28...and I think it would be awkward and weird. I imagine my grandmom trying to handle a paintball gun and I frown. You might think it's a good idea but you're guests might not. Just sayin'" Please not this post, didnt say it was stupid, made their point of view known without insulting the poster. So GJ, seriously.
Posted by Mattz[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You are not a charity, so it's not called "fundraising", it's called asking people for money. Which is rude. The paintball thing completely aside, asking people for money (even if you think they won't feel obligated to give) is rude. We aren't trying to say that YOU are rude, or that you are a bad person, we're just trying to help you see why your guests might be offended by being asked to give you their money. Wouldn't you rather a bunch of internet strangers tell you this is a bad idea, then offend your future wife's Great Aunt Mildred?</div><div>
</div><div>Edited to add: You just told someone to go walk into traffic...that is insulting. So yes, you are insulting people.

</div>

shanding4787 · September 2012

This is a horrible idea and way worse than doing a dollar dance IMO.

Summer2011Bride · September 2012

You are getting constructive feedback--we're telling you this is not a good idea. We've all been there; we have an idea that sounds awesome in our head and we don't necessarily realize the drawbacks to it until someone on the outside points those things out.

I guess I am not understanding why your OP ended with "Ideas? Thoughts?" and then when people GAVE their ideas and thoughts, you got all pissed off and went on a tangent. Why ask then in the first place? Unelss of course you just wanted everyone on here to tell you "This is a marvelous idea," in which case, we'd be lying.

Have people shoot paintballs if you really want to, but the money thing is just plain and simple against etiquette. It's not a donation as you are not a charity. It is asking people for money. That's just plain and simple rude. Or do you always go around asking people for money? Just because it's your wedding doesn't make that not rude.

JaxInBlue · September 2012

Aside from the rudeness of fundraising at your wedding, which PPs have covered, what if you get hurt? Not just pelted with paintball hurt - which is, IMO, too much for your wedding day - but something misfired you get more seriously hurt?

Or, what if someone else gets hurt, someone who came to your wedding not prepared for this? Do you have the space and the ability to make sure that you would be the only target of this activity? That in the spur of the moment (or perhaps under the influence of alcohol) friends wouldn't target each other or other guests? Will you have extra googles, pads and protective gear available? This sounds like a liability nightmare.

Nothing will cause your party to end more abruptly that an injury. Doing a dollar dance or holding the bride or groom ransom in order to raise money and offset your expenses is bad enough (unless there is some deeply rooted cultural connection), please don't bring the potential for anyone to get hurt into it.

Meghannsix · September 2012

I know I'm just going to sound like a parrot of everyone else, but here's my spin anyway. If paintball's your thing, do paintball. Whatever, maybe your guests will be into it, and if they are, it may go down as your group's coolest wedding ever. But to try to turn it into a fundraiser, is just in very poor taste.

On a side note, for the love of God, improve your spelling and grammar, it's annoying, and as an adult, I find it hard to take you seriously.

banana468 · September 2012

Why fundraising?

I don't understand the idea that a couple are a charity.

a... different approach to dollar dance.

Re: a... different approach to dollar dance.

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