a... different approach to dollar dance.

achiduck

I'm 27, FI is 28 and neither of us would enjoy this. If I went to a wedding where the bride and groom were getting shot I would very much be thinking "WTF" and would consider leaving for fear of getting shot myself. 

JoanE2012

Is that all your wedding is too you?  A way to get more money?  Haven't your family and friends given you enough? 

With that said, since it sounds like you're deadset in your ways, go ahead with the paintball fundraiser.  Everyone loves to have that one wedding where they talk about the couple years later because of how tacky and awful their wedding was.  It will make for a good story and people will get a laugh at your expense. 

zitiqueen

Oh my God, how exciting would it be to get shot in the eye on your wedding day? Pfft, that's like a million times better than the boring old weddings the rest of you miserable hags had, that's for sure! I sure feel sorry for all of your husbands with their lame full vision!

Sw774003

I say if it makes you and your fiancee happy go for it. It is different and something I certainly have never heard of. I personally would not do it because ouch! might sting and I want to have a formal affair...however every couple is different.... We are not doing a dollar dance either but i say if it makes you happy...go for it! It is your day and I encourage you to make it memorable, whatever that means to you. But I will also advise perhaps doing outside and maybe giving guests a headsup so that you don't ruin any clothing or make anyone angry. But if they bring a change of clothes and in for fun then by all means! Good Luck!

NcsuPsych

If you're going to do this, be prepared to wear a cup as I can just see people (if they actually participate) going for the jewels. It'd be a d@mn shame if you couldn't put out on your wedding night, simply because you were money greedy at a reception, which btw, is supposed to be a 'thank you' to your guests, not a place where you ask for even more of their money.

You'd be better off with a dunk booth. . .




Also, my brother is a semi-pro paintballer and lives for it. He even thinks you're beyond ridiculous for trying to pull a stunt like this.

cwaggoner07

Why not try to do a fun bachelor night thing the night before with paintball, or even a post-rehearsal dinner activity?

amanda1611t

no appropriate. go to a paintball course. also, paintballs hurt when they hit.

what does your bride thnk of this? i would never let this happen

amanda1611t

SMH, went back and read all the comments. if you had your mind set on doing it then just do it.

we wont be there. and we arent paying for your wedding so its your choice

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_a-different-approach-to-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a448a371-6422-412e-ba79-85c2f4259da1Post:62ae014c-a87d-4dbf-afa4-0a56518015f4">Re: a... different approach to dollar dance.</a>:
[QUOTE]If you're going to do this, be prepared to wear a cup as I can just see people (if they actually participate) going for the jewels. It'd be a d@mn shame if you couldn't put out on your wedding night, simply because you were money greedy at a reception, which btw, is supposed to be a 'thank you' to your guests, not a place where you ask for even more of their money. <strong>You'd be better off with a dunk booth</strong>. . . Also, my brother is a semi-pro paintballer and lives for it. He even thinks you're beyond ridiculous for trying to pull a stunt like this.
Posted by NcsuPsych[/QUOTE]
Now there's something original! <div>$1000 for 5 throws? </div><div>Why didn't I think of that for my wedding?</div><div>I would have been rich! </div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_a-different-approach-to-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a448a371-6422-412e-ba79-85c2f4259da1Post:b3699453-0688-47b1-ab84-3770905062ca">Re: a... different approach to dollar dance.</a>:
[QUOTE]Well I would be putting things on over my tux and honestly if it makes my guests laugh and have a good time I have no problem getting shot. It would be memorable and good for a laugh, plus like I said it would make for some funny/good pictures. If you dont mind me asking, how old are you? about 75% the people who will be attending will be 27-29 years old so I think they would enjoy it. Honestly I want them to be like wait.. what, because it really is out of the ordinary.
Posted by Mattz[/QUOTE]
I just turned 29 last week and I think it's a terrible idea.

PJSPJS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_a-different-approach-to-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a448a371-6422-412e-ba79-85c2f4259da1Post:62ae014c-a87d-4dbf-afa4-0a56518015f4">Re: a... different approach to dollar dance.</a>:
[QUOTE] It'd be a d@mn shame if you couldn't put out on your wedding night, simply because you were money greedy <strong>at a reception, which btw, is supposed to be a 'thank you' to your guests, not a place where you ask for even more of their money</strong>. You'd be better off with a dunk booth. . .
Posted by NcsuPsych[/QUOTE]
<div>Well said.</div>

HobokensFury

This can't be real...

jessicabessica

What does your FI think about this?  

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_a-different-approach-to-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a448a371-6422-412e-ba79-85c2f4259da1Post:043cd361-eb62-4249-826c-1d0b82796901">Re: a... different approach to dollar dance.</a>:
[QUOTE]Would your venue even allow this? The cleanup would be awful. P.S.  Anything that gouges your guests for cash is tacky.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
Apparently he owns the venue...

mabapunta

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_a-different-approach-to-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a448a371-6422-412e-ba79-85c2f4259da1Post:0f476482-4b89-4d82-88ef-f4ceeed11e2c">Re: a... different approach to dollar dance.</a>:
[QUOTE]Dude I am listening.. Everyone on here thinks the dollar dance is rude. What do you want me to be like "oh man cause everyones perfect argument saying that the idea is stupid, tacky, calling the idea redneck-ish, im totally gonna change my idea and not do it" No. Fact. We will be doing some type of fundraiser. Be that the dollar dance, paintball, hat game, randsom.. whatever. You keeping calling it tacky and rude like I care. Its tradition. As for your 50's themed party. To me thats freaking stupid but we obviously have difffernt views. And as for "If you're just going to insult people who disagree with your ideas, then you're right that you probably should not be posting them here." Really... Your talking to everyone else in this thread right? Cause I alone am not insulting people.  Infact why are people posting in here anyways.. obviously everyone in this forum thinks its "stupid & tacky".. oh thats right, so they can get their post count higher because as we all know higher post count = smarter/cooler "Lilshell812 /> 'm 28...and I think it would be awkward and weird. I imagine my grandmom trying to handle a paintball gun and I frown. You might think it's a good idea but you're guests might not. Just sayin'" Please not this post, didnt say it was stupid, made their point of view known without insulting the poster. So GJ, seriously.
Posted by Mattz[/QUOTE]

I actually don't think the Dollar Dance is rude, although I can see it being perceived that way by some. The last few weddings I've been to have had Dollar Dances, and we plan to have it at ours as well. I definitely know there's a major pricetag difference between my wedding, the weddings I've been to and others out there, just like I know there are different cultural/regional traditions or expectations among many of us. We're probably on the less classy side, but whatever.

As for the paintball deal, I definitely find it odd. Is the rest of your wedding going to be running along that same kind of idea? I mean are you getting married outside in a paintball field? Or is it something that you and your FI really enjoy doing together? It's cool that it's one of your personal interests, but that doesn't necessarily mean it should be part of your wedding.

If you do go through with it, definitely make sure to have protection for friends and family and their cars!

samantha24p

Hahaha I think this is a joke right?

artbyallie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_a-different-approach-to-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a448a371-6422-412e-ba79-85c2f4259da1Post:96087f9c-42ae-478c-b276-7f23fc85ac37">Re: a... different approach to dollar dance.</a>:
[QUOTE]Is that all your wedding is too you?  A way to get more money?  Haven't your family and friends given you enough?  With that said, since it sounds like you're deadset in your ways, go ahead with the paintball fundraiser.  Everyone loves to have that one wedding where they talk about the couple years later because of how tacky and awful their wedding was.  It will make for a good story and people will get a laugh at your expense. 
Posted by JoanE2012[/QUOTE]

<div>Well said.</div><div>
</div><div>And I also want to point out, OP, that saying an <em>idea</em> is stupid is not the same as saying <em>someone</em> is stupid. The latter is insulting. Saying that would be perceived as tacky, as correctly pointed out in this quote, is also not an insult. Hence, I'm pretty sure you're the only one who's insulted anyone in this thread.</div>

samantha24p

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_a-different-approach-to-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:a448a371-6422-412e-ba79-85c2f4259da1Post:8df87577-5c60-4eb0-afe1-6c36cb2ef08a">Re: a... different approach to dollar dance.</a>:
[QUOTE]This can't be real...
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]



This is what I'm thinking. Even if the groom thinks its fun or a good idea, I can't picture a bride wanting to do this on her wedding day in her wedding dress.

courtski2004

So is it just you being pelted by paintballs or will your wife take them too? I vote that you do her a solid and prove your brilliance by taking one (or five, depending on how much you milk from your unexpecting guests) for the team. Just think--if someone shoots you in the balls, just hope that it is on tape so you can send it to tosh.0 and make some more money off your bad decisions.

sierraberry32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_a-different-approach-to-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a448a371-6422-412e-ba79-85c2f4259da1Post:c76fe735-1a2c-4572-a70b-178ec18b56ee">a... different approach to dollar dance.</a>:
[QUOTE]So my fiancee and I were laying in bed thinking of different ideas instead of a dollar dance and I had a fun/funny/different idea for it. Paintballs. I always enjoy doing things that are different and creative so I had the idea of getting hit with paintballs. We would announce that in lou of the dollar dance we would be collecting money if people wanted. If we hit a certain amount say 100-150 I would get hit with 5 paintballs. 150-200 8, 200-250 11, etc etc. If people really wanted to donate alot for $20 they could shoot me 2 times. This way people dont have to wait in line to dance, they dont donate if they dont want to and it would make it a little bit more fun. Everyone loves to watch people make an ass out of themselves and seeing someone get hit by paintballs would defaintly be a funny thing to see. Plus the pictures would be pretty funny. So ideas? Thoughts?
Posted by Mattz[/QUOTE]

Ok, I have read enough of what the others have to say. Here's the truth: This is your day, do what you like! If you think getting shot with paintball's is going to be something a majority of your guests are going to like, then go ahead! I would keep in mind however, not everyone has great aim, and to make sure you protect yourself properly.

I would like to point out one thing, if you did do a paintball/money dance thing, it would definitely be memorable! Good luck and keep it positive!

sis0230

i think this is a cuite idea. maybe not so much for during the wedding but for more "trash the dress" after the wedding. youd get excelent pictures, and if paintball is your thing than, its totally you!

sis0230

i think this is a cuite idea! maybe not so much for the reception but for after the wedding for the "trash the dress"  pictures. youd get great pics!!

renegade gaucho

I'm so sick of the "But it's tradition!" whining.  First of all, it is NOT tradition to have paintball guns at a wedding.  You can't use the tradition argument to justify doing something that is nontraditional.

Additionally, while the dollar dance is fundamentally tacky, as the purpose is to squeeze your guests for money, there is a secondary purpose that will not be met with your paintball idea: getting at least a minute or two of one-on-one time with each of your guests.  (Of course, you can always dance with your guests for free, which is why charging them for it is rude.)

The purpose of a reception is to thank your guests for taking time out of their lives to attend your wedding and celebrate your marriage.  This is why asking them for money, in any form, is inappropriate.  I'm not sure why you're having such a difficult time understanding this.  If you really want to be hit with paintballs on your wedding day, just let your guests have this pleasure without charging them for it.

Finally, if you think this is such a great idea and you're so sure your guests will love it and you won't be deterred from doing it, why did you come here asking for the opinions of strangers?  Stop whining just because your awesome idea isn't universally accepted.

wrigleyville

Sooo... you're upset that you posted an idea and didn't get 100% positive responses?

Do you understand how message boards work? People with opinions read them, and when you ask for opinions, you have to be prepared to get positive and negative responses. Just because you didn't get a chorus of, "That's the best idea EVER!" doesn't mean it's time to take your ball and go home. Perhaps you should listen to people.

A wedding is not a fundraiser. If people want to give you money, they will. It is not polite to ask for it.

I'm sorry my wedding reception at Adler Planetarium seems boring to you. My guests are actually looking forward to the view of the lake and the Chicago skyline, not to mention access to the exhibits. Perhaps I should ask them for money as a bribe to jump into Lake Michigan in my wedding dress? I'm sure it will be fine, as long as I wear a life preserver and make sure the photographer has a waterproof camera.

alithebride

interact with your guests for free. they've already given you a gift. asking for more is tacky.

mnwatson1

Everyone's already said the consensus here: it's not a good idea, no matter how you look at it.  It's rude to ask for money, no matter what form that may take (after all, people are ALREADY likely to buy you a wedding gift or give cash in the first place anyway, why are you asking for MORE money from people when YOU are supposed to be HOSTING THEM?) and paintball at a wedding is a bad idea for many reasons: liability, damage to rented formalwear (even if you own it, are you willing to permanently ruin a $500 tux just for some paintball fun?  There goes the money you just conned people out of!), damage to your venue (even if you DO own it!), damage to your bride's dress (somehow, I seriously doubt she'd like this to happen!), etc.  It's a HUGE risk, and not one that you should take as lightly as you seem to be.

Seriously though, I hear your side of this, see you're all gung-ho about it, but you never mention your bride's opinion of this whole thing.  Have you even mentioned it to her?  Does she even know what you're planning?  If my FI suddenly came up and proposed this idea for our wedding (though granted, I know he most definitely wouldn't even THINK of something like this, thankfully!), I would be BEYOND angry that he even considered bringing paintball into what is typically considered a formal event.

sierraberry32

 Ok Mattz, by all these comments, I think you can already guess the mindset of all these knotties (or the ones who disagree), but what they don't realize is, is that it is YOUR wedding, NOT theirs! I said it once and I will say it again, do whatever you like! Some woman just can't get the wedding bee out of their butt!

ifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderful

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_a-different-approach-to-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a448a371-6422-412e-ba79-85c2f4259da1Post:0bea44e2-e5a1-42d1-8f35-8d9077591b8d">Re: a... different approach to dollar dance.</a>:
[QUOTE]Aside from the rudeness of fundraising at your wedding, which PPs have covered, what if you get hurt?  Not just pelted with paintball hurt - which is, IMO, too much for your wedding day - but something misfired you get more seriously hurt?  Or, what if someone else gets hurt, someone who came to your wedding not prepared for this?  Do you have the space and the ability to make sure that you would be the only target of this activity?  That in the spur of the moment (or perhaps under the influence of alcohol) friends wouldn't target each other or other guests?  Will you have extra googles, pads and protective gear available?  This sounds like a liability nightmare. Nothing will cause your party to end more abruptly that an injury.  Doing a dollar dance or holding the bride or groom ransom in order to raise money and offset your expenses is bad enough (unless there is some deeply rooted cultural connection), please don't bring the potential for anyone to get hurt into it.
Posted by JaclyneD[/QUOTE]

I agree with JaclyneD, aside from it being tacky, you need to consider possible outcomes and one of them is someone getting hurt. Also, you own the reception space but I assume paintball parks require a different kind of insurance then just a hall you rent out. Are you donig this in the middle of the reception? I have never seen a dollar dance so I don't know when this usually takes place, but that means taking time out of the reception to then clean up. I don't even want to take time away from dancing and fun for extra speeches let alone would I want to stand around while you all tried to clean up paint splatter. Just from a planning perspective I don't see this working out well.
And if you want to follow the advice of the poster saying it's your day do what you want (and it seems like you will) just remember your guests will also do what they want, which will be laughing behind your back and talking about this for years to come (possibly also putting a video on youtube and then submitting it to some tv show where now more people then just your attendees will laugh at you).

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_a-different-approach-to-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:a448a371-6422-412e-ba79-85c2f4259da1Post:62209dd8-a440-4367-a0fb-cedd033382d5">Re: a... different approach to dollar dance.</a>:
[QUOTE] Ok Mattz, by all these comments, I think you can already guess the mindset of all these knotties (or the ones who disagree), but what they don't realize is, is that it is YOUR wedding, NOT theirs! I said it once and I will say it again, do whatever you like! Some woman just can't get the wedding bee out of their butt!
Posted by sierraberry32[/QUOTE]

Actually it is also his FI's wedding and once you invite a single person, they must also be taken into account hence it ceases to be "your day".  If you want people to validate seriously horrible ideas, maybe you should advise OP to hop on over to weddingwire or weddingbee

arendiva

I'm not going to give you advice on whether or not wedding fundraisers are tacky or whether or not paintball at a wedding is classy. You've heard the consensus on that already. Instead I will point out some stuff that no one else has mentioned.

1) if you get pelted with a crap ton of paint balls you will be sore and uncomfortable for the rest of your reception

2) you will likely end up covered in bruises which will look and feel horrible on your honeymoon

3) if any stray paintballs end up on the grass guests could accidentally step on them and ruin their fancy dress shoes

4)you could do this at a bachelor party (a few weeks before the wedding so the bruises heal) and could still have all the fun with your buddies without spoiling the seriousness of your wedding and risking the above forementioned things