Wedding Etiquette Forum

Him or me?

Tim and I don't have jobs. We have 17k in the bank. He thinks since we don't have jobs, a home, or kids, we should get up and move to NYC for 3-4 months and not get jobs, just explore. He thinks we'd be fine spending 12-15k doing this and he really wants to do it. I think it's irresponsible to do such a thing, especially since CA schools are getting more cuts next year, another 10%, and more layoffs - we're teachers. I've suggested a 4 week vacation, but he wants to feel like he's living there. Is he crazy or am I just too worried about money?
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Re: Him or me?

  • I'm all for life experiences but that's when you have money to fall back on.  This just sounds crazy!  What happens when you get back from NYC and you still don't find jobs right away?  What does he plan on living off when you may only have 2 grand left in the bank?Sorry, Tim, it's a nice dream but I'm afraid it should probably stay just a dream for now.
  • I agree with PP and think he is crazy. Why not move to NYC for a whole year and look for part-time jobs to keep some cash flow so you don't drain the bank account. That way you will still get the NYC experience.The city isn't cheap and I think you will easily spend every last dime in your account if you're there for 3-4 months just "exploring". It doesn't sound like a good plan to one day move back to CA broke and unemployed.
  • Wow. Seems a little off to me.  Vacation? Sure.  Move for 3-4 months without jobs and then move back without jobs? No.  With 17K in the bank, you don't have any goals you are working toward, like a house, or car, or long term investments?  That may be somewhere to put that money.  Although, I do see where you both can probably get jobs nearly wherever you go, since you are teachers.  They are always in demand.
  • NYC hires their teachers in June, they aren't taking applications. And in our state they are laying them off by the 100's and hiring back very few. That's why we're out of work.
  • If I was unemployed and without a mortgage, I would do it. Probably not the most responsible decision but you are both young, and experiences like that are what life is about. Like PP said, maybe consider getting a part time job there so you don't deplete all the savings. A lot of people dream of doing something like that but don't have the oppurtunity. I would do it.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • That's what he is saying. I'm saying, we should work this school year subbing, save up and live in NYC from June 4th to August 30th, which I think is plenty of time. And it's during summer, we wouldn't be making $$$ anyway, so why not during that time? He wants to leave tomorrow.
  • Your idea sounds the more sensible one, a month is long enough to explore and $17,000 won't last very long if you are both out of work for any length of time.  Especially in New York.If he wants a real adventure then relocate when they are hiring and get jobs there, stay there for a year.  Just because you have money in the bank doesn't mean it's wise to spend it, especially when there's no immediate way to replenish it.
  • I suggested going for the 8 weeks during summer. Now he says he wants 6 months. No way in hell is he getting 6 months without jobs. We're applying to teach out there next year and I hope for his sake that it happens, but if not, there's no way we'll live out there that long.
  • If you had jobs to fall back into, I'd say for sure. Without them, you can't really do it without a lot of risk hanging over your head. Do your government teaching positions allow for a year of leave without pay, as ours do? If so, I would wait until you're in jobs, have worked for a year or so and then action the plan. Do you guys have a house etc yet? I would think that money would be far better spent in property, given the market at the moment.
  • If you do want to move, then you're right- wait until you secure some form of work or subbing out in NYC before you relocate.
  • This has got bad idea written all over it.  You guys might be able to find jobs overseas teaching English.  Pretty sure they hire year round and you could get a great experience that way too.But otherwise, his idea is not.good.
  • I think your idea is the better one. You will still get the life experience, but be doing it during a time you would not be working anyways. I am all for being spontaneous in situations like this, but if it is only a 9 month wait, then you should probably wait. And 3 months in NY sounds reasonable, but 6 months would be extemely difficult to do with that amount of money in NY. But you should do it.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I don't know what your life goals are but if they're anything like ours, I say take this time to do *something* interesting. 17K in New York won't last very long and you'll quite possibly come back facing property, but that doesnt' mean you couldn't tweak your plan a bit. Just because more settled types will say that's money better spent on a house or car (and for them, it is - good for them) doesn't mean that that's the best idea for you. If that's the approach you take to finances, then you're on a direct road to a very quiet life. If that's what you want, great. But if you don't... Go abroad and teach English, or get jobs teaching ESL in New York. You can't live off of that, but it'll supplement your income until you do find a job. I know someone who, through very frugal living, managed to live off a part time ESL teaching gig at $17 an hour and a bit of savings for quite a long time before finding a permanent job. New York is full of newly-arrived immigrants who want to learn English as well as people on student visas who come specifically for that purpose. But if you wait until you have a job to make plans, you'll never get to go anywhere as you'll be bound to your job. Cash in the bank and unemployed is a great time to expand your horizons if you do it in a smart, planned way.
  • facing property = facing poverty (or at least very financially strapped unemployment)
  • He's definitely crazy, but if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't plan a 4 weeker either. With no jobs right now I would hang tight to the money.  You are very very young and you can plan a sabattical into your life somewhere along the line.  If one of you needed some kind of emergency health care (say appendicitis) how would that be covered?  Are you paying COBRA right now or are you without insurance? This is coming from the woman who was SUPPOSED to retire for good next summer at the age of 50.  DH retired 2 1/2 yrs ago at 49.  We had a great plan and the means to do it.  Thanks to the mortgaga fiasco and the stock market crashing, our retirement plans are changed forever.  You don't know what is coming down the line when it comes to finances and your future.  I would not be thinking vacation at all right now. 17,000.00 isn't as much as it sounds like if it is all  you have.  I'm in a different point in life and my perspective is probably pretty different.  If I were in your shoes I would't part with a dime. 
  • I think it would be crazy to do it and spend that much money. I say, do that or a different location and spend way less money. 12-15k for a few months is insane and needless
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  • I think there's a big difference between having a responsible experience, and just blowing a wad of cash for no reason. Great, you'll have an awesome time, but what about that non-awesome time after your experience is over?  I think you need to find a way to have some sort of job AND the experience you want and should have.  That's why I was suggesting teaching abroad.
  • Can you move somewhere there are more teaching jobs? When I finished student teaching we were pretty much told to move out of the area if we were elementary teachers. A few people moved to Maryland, NC, and AZ. I moved to London. You could have an adventure for a few years and work at the same time. I'm pretty sure you could get jobs in NYC, not sure if you are up to that.
  • So I didn't read the other posts, but I am thinking along the lines of Amoro. Living in a different country will make your resume stand out when you return. You can easily get a visa to NZ or Australia, although I'm not sure what the teaching market is in either. You could just get crap jobs and have the time of your life. I upped and moved to Australia in 2005 and it was honestly one of the best decisions of my life. When I was there I decided I wanted to get a teaching cert and move to London, which I did and met FI here. If either of you teach math or science you could get a visa to England and then the other could get a marriage visa to come along. There are tons of teaching jobs in London. Or you could teach English as a second language in your choice of several countries.
  • if it is a dream of his i would give it a shot. you will most likely never have this opportunity again. i would not blow all of it though. explore as far as 10k will take you and keep 7 in your savings. have you ever been to NYC? i am from NJ and i go there several times a year, but i would never want to live there! i think an extended vacation would be fun though. there is so much to see. 
  • If he wants to live there for a month then you guys should find temp jobs there and sublet a furnished place for one month.  If you temp you wouldn't necessarily need to work full time and you could still enjoy the city.  Maybe think about substitute teaching because those jobs are always in demand.I've lived in NYC for almost 6 years now and I moved out here from a really small town in the midwest and didn't know anyone.  You can definitely do it, but I think it's smarter to get a cheap sublet and work at least part time when you're out here.Good Luck.
  • I think it is great to have the $$ and oppurtunity to travel, I wish I could.  However, does he realize how expensive NYC is?  If you live in CA now its pretty comparible.  I agree with everyone else, compromise and tell him a couple weeks.  I have visited NYC many times, and I would NEVER want to live there!  I know some people who love it, but I think it takes a special person to deal with all the people all the time, the traffic, and the cost of living(apartments, food, etc.)
  • do you have any experience in serving tables or bartending?? you can make a lot of money doing that especially in NYC. you could maybe try and get a job like that just for a couple nights a week. that way you wouldn't have to go through your savings so quickly.
  • Switzerland also has an amazing teaching program you could look into; someone we know went to teach for two years and it's now 8 years later and she and her husband are still there, teaching and loving it, and living tax free! Would you and Tim consider something like that? It'd be exciting! 
  • NebbNebb member
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    3-4 months sounds a bit long, but depending on where you stayed and how you managed your money i would find it hard to believe youd spend 15K while away. Unless you eat out at expensive restaurants 3 times a day, shop a lot and stay somewhere expensive... you would probably be fine. Can you try to budget something out (accommodations, food/travel expectations, etc) to see how much and show him that?
  • Like a lot of pp, I'm all for taking on a unique life experience when an opportunity presents itself....However, I'm also all for people having the money to afford living their dreams and still be able to do things like pay bills and keep a roof over their heads.If he wants to stay THAT long, get jobs. And PLAN ahead. Leaving tomorrow and just hoping things work out just does not sound like a good idea to me at all.

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  • I would only ever think about doing this once you have income on the way, i.e. you have jobs lines up for fall and you go during the summer.
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  • I had another thought........what time of year is he wanting to go?  If he is thinking this fall/winter.....maybe he should do his research on the weather in NYC that time of year...he may re-think his decision!
  • If he wants to go somewhere, why not go backpacking through Europe or something? Live somewhere OTHER than the US where the dollar is worth more (if there even places out there like that anymore)? 3-4 mos in an expensive city wasting money doesn't seem fun. Why not get in your car and do a cross country trip in the US? Visit all those places you've wanted to see but never got the chance to. That would be more fun than living in NYC for 3-4 mos, and probably less expensive (this coming from a girl who lives just outside DC where hotels and 6 mo rentals cost an arm and a leg).If anything I said was already mentioned by PPs, my apologies.
  • Living in NYC is an incredible opportunity. (I'm from there, living in the midwest now, and miss it every day). I strongly suggest if you make the decision to do that, consider substitute teaching while you're there. That way you can both work enough to not deplete your savings (which in NYC is pretty easy) but you have the flexibility to decide what days you want to take off if you want to go do different things.
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