Him or me?

Lyss5782

You definitely cant get teaching jobs in NYC or the surrounding areas?  Even in the low-income areas???  They usually need people, especially at the last minute.  I know we destaffed a TON of people in June but now there are still jobs to be had in my county.

*BeachBride0410*

Spim7-  I see you live in Indianapolis and your wedding date is 4/10/2010.  I live in Indy now, from SE PA, and I am getting married the same day!

danieliza1127

My H's best friend did this with an old girlfriend years ago, but they went to Ireland for about 3 months.  They burned through everything they had and came back in major debt.  Personally though, I think it would be a great experience and most of me says you should do it.  I agree though that with the economy the way it is, it does seem irresponsible to just waste that money like that.  Why don't you guys just pick up and move?  If CA schools aren't hiring and they're getting more cuts next year and more layoffs, why even stay there?  There's a whole country out there.  If he has the desire to live somewhere else, maybe you guys should consider actually moving somewhere else and committing to it for a year or two.

PiperS

winter is cold in NYC, but it is the best time to go. NYC at christmas time is beautiful. we go every year!

Puppylove*85

I would not use that money to explore in New York for months on end.  That seems very irresponsible to me.  What is the plan when you are done with the trip and quickly getting down to your last dime?I don't know if you are interested but my friends got teaching jobs almost immediately in Houston.  I don't think the pay is great but the cost of living is less and one of the growing southern cities might be a good place to ride out the recession.

fangsiting

I think going to NYC a great idea if you could find temp jobs while you were are there (I mean, if he wants to feel like he's living there, that's the way to do it). Even if you both had part-time jobs it would help. I also agree with the PPs about teaching abroad. I did that in china for a year and loved it! You could get a great experience without going through your savings.

salt78

[i]Why don't you guys just pick up and move? If CA schools aren't hiring and they're getting more cuts next year and more layoffs, why even stay there? There's a whole country out there. If he has the desire to live somewhere else, maybe you guys should consider actually moving somewhere else and committing to it for a year or two.[/i] I agree with this. And I definitely agree with PPs that doing what Tim wants to do is hugely irresponsible. $17K doesn't get you far in NYC anyway.

Calypso1977

this would be a difficult gap to explain on a resume.  i also dont see how you could live in NYC for 4 months on even 17K.  the apartment alone will cost you probably $2k a month. i personally would start loooking for a teaching job for at least one of you anywhere, then use that money to move wherever you get a job.

pumpkinpumpkin

I think he's an idiot for thinking this is a good idea. Eventually your 17k will run out. You may still be jobless. Then you're screwed.

ffmaid

Ok what happens in 4 months? In his plan you are living in one of the highest cost of living areas with two people to support and 2K in the bank and a hard labor market. Honestly, You can not afford this. Also if looking to hire someone and ask what they have been doing for the last 4 months if the answer was exploring NYC this woudl show to me a lazy lack of motivation and almost make sure I woudl not hire them. Could you get jobs in the NYcity school system for a year and explore the city on weekend?

Golfer'sLady

Maybe I'm practical and boring but I cannot fathom the idea of being unemployed and then spending 3-4 months in NYC just because and spending all of our savings.If you two are open to moving, I'd find an area you can get jobs. Then moving would make sense. Just going to NYC to play is silly and irresponsible. He's crazy.

wadingmoose

Looking back, I wish I'd done something like that - only not NY for me.  Sometimes in life you just have to take the opportunities you get and go for it.At the same time, you need to understand that it could be an absolutely life changing opportunity - this could be good, bad or just a change. 

p1nklemonade

just an fyi-- new york city is  not hiring any teachers right now.  there's also a pool of teachers who have been excessed from the schools they were teaching at and are waiting for positions to open up.  i wouldn't bank on being able to find a teaching job here, even as a sub.

diva1397

If you're willing to relocate, there is ALWAYS a need for teachers in the South.  The need is so great that schools hire people with absolutely no teaching experience.  (I live in Louisiana).  Just a thought!

MissSarah786

*Update Tim got a call and was offered a job teaching drama and journalism. He's never taught drama, so that scares him. He is considering not taking the job and going to NYC for 3-4, maybe 6 months with no plans on working. I want to compromise - we'll work during the school year, leave during summer. He could collect unemployment during that time because he will have been laid off off at the end of the school year and we can spend 8 WEEKS in NYC. He doesn't think this is long enough. He wants to be able to say he lived there. I just think he's depressed about the whole job situation. He started talking this way after he and I were pink slipped.

ivystar57

NO. Nah ah.  There needs to be come-back-down-to-earth conversation ASAP.  As a teacher in CA you do not turn down jobs.  NO.  Eight weeks in NYC is plenty of time.  You will have lived there for 8 weeks.  He needs a job, you need a job.  If he is offered employment it is beyond stupid to not take it because it scares him.  Suck it up.  It's NOT JUST HIM anymore.  Welcome to married life.Get serious, Sarah.  Like deadly serious.  This is not acceptable.  NO.

wadingmoose

Ok.  With a job offer in this economy?  He needs to take it and save the peter pan fantasy for later on.

MissSarah786

I'm just worried that if he doesn't get his way, he'll be angry and bitter towards me for years. He's not acting like my Timmy, like the man I've known and loved for 4 years. He's going through something that I don't understand, ever since we were pink slipped, he just wants to up and leave and "explore."

ivystar57

Yeah he's discouraged and disappointed and running away from his responsibilities.  That's not cool, Sarah.  If he's not being the Timmy that you know and love, help him see that.It's not a time to explore.  You can't afford it.  Do you know how stressed out YOU will be knowing that you are spending ALL of your savings when he had a job offer that he turned down?  He's not being fair to you, singular and plural.I get that he's scared, but he needs to "explore" his pants for his balls.

MissSarah786

I'm really okay with 8 weeks in NYC because he would have his job, we would save up and he would get unemployment during that time. 3-4 months without jobs and turning down a job offer would make me go crazy and frantic with fear. He's always been a saver and a planner and he's just reacting so strangely to this disappointment of losing his job last year. I'll work it out. We won't for 3 months, it's just not okay.

ivystar57

Also, I wouldn't really care if Hubby was mad at me for saying NO to a crazy scheme like this.  In fact, I've said no to hubby when he wanted to go on Dead tour over a summer.  Yes, he's sad he doesn't tour anymore, but he understands that we are in this together and you don't ignore your responsibilities.I really think you need to put your foot down on this one.  You've offered a compromise.  He's suggesting a more outlandish option.  3-4 months turned into 6.  His reasoning was that you both didn't have jobs.  Well, now he has one and he wants to turn the other way?  Sarah, I feel for you, but really this is concerning behavior that can not be ignored.

MissSarah786

Ivy, I feel the exact same way. I don't understand his thinking. I told his parents this morning and they're both concerned, hopefully talking to them will help him.

ivystar57

I hope talking to his parents helps.  I hope he can hear them and you. "why" would be my main question.  I get wanting to escape life for a while, but I really don't think that's an option.  Even if he went to NY...

mandysmear

Ivy is wise.  Very wise. 

ffmaid

Here is what I woudl do in your shoes1. Say accept this job offer. You will also continue to look for job in this area 2 both of you look  into teaching at a summer program next summer in NYC and into getting teaching cert in NY state and teaching jobs in next summer in NYC with consideration for long term move to NYC

saschaduran

The new news changes everything. You have a very good plan, that would involve being responsible AND having a great life experience. Now it sounds like he is being unreasonable. It is not like you are nixing the idea...you are putting it n hold for 9 months.

colleen1414

question, why nyc? i agree with your hubby a little bit on the note that if you are both free and not working why not travel now but on the other hand you cant spend all that money on what is essentially a vacation. why not go on a working holiday and go teach in south korea or backpack and work in australia for a few months?

saschaduran

Good question...NYC is funner the more money you have. You could travel and each and really broaden your horizons. Or would Tim be afraid he would have nothing to eat in another country?

thesuninherhead

Turning down the job offer would be ridiculous. He doesn't have to commit to teaching drama for the rest of his life, but I'm sure he could cope with a few months. In the meantime, you guys could keep applying elsewhere, and when you secure work somewhere else, move there and do his trip.It sounds like he is a little depressed, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to move away and have new experiences- but that doesn't have to include taking big financial risks.I hope you guys can reach a compromise on this.

tlv204

I'm super late, butAlthough, I do see where you both can probably get jobs nearly wherever you go, since you are teachers. They are always in demand.You're an idiot.  That is the most incorrect thing I've read in a long time.  Maybe in particular parts of the country, but certainly not mine and certainly not Sarah's.  I know it doesn't matter anymore but that pissed me off so much it's not even funny. Also, sarah, I agree that it is irresponsible and your plan sounds better.  Please come back with an update, and send his job to me.  I'll take it!!   Good luck with everything!