Did you and your FI ever break up?

jenniferurs

I always find it interesting to hear about couples who broke up, but eventually got back together and got engaged/married. I guess because that was the situation for me and my FI.

So that being said, did you and your fiancé/husband ever break up (for an extended period of time) or were you together all the way through?

Maggie0829

H and I have been together for nearly 12 years (married 2.5).  Never once broke up.  Not even came close.  Heck we never even had a fight where I considered it (and hopefully he can say the same).

thejucheidea

Not even vaguely. The biggest fight we had was a Mac vs. PC fight a few months into dating, and we didn't speak to each other for a week, but we got over it.

Peaseblossom55

Nope we've never even really had a legit argument in the almost 4 1/2 years we've been together.

climbingsingle

Nope, not at all.  

PolarBearFitz

jenniferurs said:

I always find it interesting to hear about couples who broke up, but eventually got back together and got engaged/married. I guess because that was the situation for me and my FI. So that being said, did you and your fiancé/husband ever break up (for an extended period of time) or were you together all the way through?

We broke up for about 3 days once. Really it was just us needing space to get over our huffiness. We got over it and came out stronger but I wouldn't recommend it.

pumpkinsandturkeys

We've never broken up, but we've had some big blowouts over the last (almost) 5 years.

I don't think I ever seriously considered breaking up with him, because I can't imagine my life without him. However, there have been a couple of times when I did have to consider walking out and forcing a temporary break until the balance in our relationship was restored (long story involving family dramz). One time, I even took my ring off and gave it back to him.

I know that he also had moments where he questioned things. The good thing is that these instances don't last long for us -- they're kind of heat-of-the-moment, fast and furious disputes because we're both so stubborn and had different upbringings. We always come back within 10 - 30 minutes and apologize to each other and talk things out, and times like this have gotten fewer and further between as the years go by and we learn to better relate to each other and express ourselves in a way that the other person understands.

pinkcow13

FI and I broke up for nearly 2 years. This was about 6 years ago. It was a pretty bad break up, although we still maintained contact throughout the period. There was a point where it seemed that we would not get back together, but after my 25th birthday, a shift occurred and we eventually started to work things out, and we got back together. All these years later, I honestly don't even feel like we broke up, and our friends don't even remember the breakup anymore lol. 

PolarBearFitz

pinkcow13 said:

FI and I broke up for nearly 2 years. This was about 6 years ago. It was a pretty bad break up, although we still maintained contact throughout the period. There was a point where it seemed that we would not get back together, but after my 25th birthday, a shift occurred and we eventually started to work things out, and we got back together. All these years later, I honestly don't even feel like we broke up, and our friends don't even remember the breakup anymore lol. 

One of my friends had a similar situation with his wife. They separated for a bit but got back together and have never been happier. Sometimes it's just something that happens. Glad yours worked out!

Jells2dot0

Yes. I had a very difficult time acclimating to life with his kids. It wasn't necessarily the kids themselves, but rather a quite unruly and selfish ex wife who refused to co-parent and tried everything possible to try and dump the kids on us without warning. It got so bad that I had to miss his grandmother's out of state funeral because she refused to take the kids back early (she was in town, but just wanted her "me" time), so I had to watch them and we had to schedule our vacations a year out and highlight the weeks on the calendar so she could count the days and make sure it was even. My DH had a very difficult divorce, so he rarely pushed back on her. I obviously did not deal well with that and it almost caused me to leave for good.  

pinkcow13

PolarBearFitz said:

pinkcow13 said:

FI and I broke up for nearly 2 years. This was about 6 years ago. It was a pretty bad break up, although we still maintained contact throughout the period. There was a point where it seemed that we would not get back together, but after my 25th birthday, a shift occurred and we eventually started to work things out, and we got back together. All these years later, I honestly don't even feel like we broke up, and our friends don't even remember the breakup anymore lol. 

One of my friends had a similar situation with his wife. They separated for a bit but got back together and have never been happier. Sometimes it's just something that happens. Glad yours worked out!

PolarBearFitz! Yea, sometimes these things happen. I too feel that it made us stronger, and happier. Same thing happened with my cousin, and he and his wife have been happily married for years, and have a beautiful 2 year old.

 Of course at the time it definitely sucked!

Drewsgirl31

I left my H just a few months after getting married and we were separated for about 9 months but maintained contact and seen each other quite a bit. When talk of divorcing came up we realized that wasn't what we wanted and got back together and have never been happier. That was almost 4 years ago.

JennyColada

My parents broke up for about a year (before they got married). My mom told me that it's because my dad wanted to date another woman.

My parents have been married for 33 years!

WinstonsGirl

Nope.  Haven't even considered it.  We haven't even really fought either.  I'm pretty sure if people saw our fights, they wouldn't consider them fights.  

singinchick13

Never actually broke up but had an interesting 'start' I guess you could call it. After highschool we used to party together a lot (one of my best friends was dating one of his best friends) and the two of us always ended up together, hooking up, flirting, having a good time, but never actually dated. He was coming to terms with losing his father and neither one of us were taking things too seriously. He tried a few times years after to ask me out but his timing was horrible, because I was always dating someone. Finally, after five years, we were in the same place and never looked back

KatWAG

We have never broke up and have never gotten close.

HobokensFury

Nope

jenna8984

Actually a mutual friend set us up and after one month he broke it off (we were not even boyfriend/ girlfriend yet). He didn't really give a reason just said it wasn't going to work out. I was so bummed because I knew I was already falling for him. We didn't talk for about 3 weeks then he called and said I screwed up, can we go on a date? He wouldn't admit it at the time but he later told me that he was also falling for me and was just really scared. He hadn't been in a serious relationship in a few years and didn't know if he wanted to be in one. But he said the fact that I "moved on" and didn't try to call him like a psycho is what made him realize how awesome I was and what he was missing out on. Like I said, that was only a month after we met and I don't know if you can even call it a break up but we've never had a fight since about anything or been anywhere close to ever breaking up.

StephJean83

We started out as FWB and stopped having sex for a period of time. We continued to hang out and "date" but just nothing intimate. It took us 7 months to realize that what were doing was dating and have been together ever since.

We have had some real big fights, but not once have we ever considered ending it. Though jokingly he did me tell if I got some question wrong when playing Trivial Pursuit he couldn't marry me. I shockingly got the answer correctly but as I was answering I handed him my ring and he got pissed. There were a few times were I took my ring off, making dinner, potting plants, doing dishes, and handed him the ring to hold onto and he wasn't paying attention to why I was giving him the ring and he would get mad. Now I just place it in the box it came in when I do those things.

Blergbot

Nope. Never broken up. Before we got engaged we'd never even had a fight. Now we've had a few, but only one where it scared me a little bit. That was this past weekend. But it was really just a fleeting thought and I can't really imagine my life without him, so no breakup for us.

sarahufl

Once, for about 2 days. He didn't feel ready to commit and he knew I wanted it. At that point, we had been together just shy of 2 years. I think it took him about a day to realize he wanted to get back together.

The timing was SUPER inconvenient, though. He did it a few days before Thanksgiving, when my entire family was coming to visit. Then, to add insult to injury, my sister had her 2nd miscarriage the same day. Needless to say, it was a terribly emotional Thanksgiving.

Thankfully, my sister's ADORABLE little daughter will be rocking an awesome little dress at my summer wedding and all that is behind us.

pumpkinsandturkeys

StephJean83 said:

We started out as FWB and stopped having sex for a period of time. We continued to hang out and "date" but just nothing intimate. It took us 7 months to realize that what were doing was dating and have been together ever since. We have had some real big fights, but not once have we ever considered ending it. Though jokingly he did me tell if I got some question wrong when playing Trivial Pursuit he couldn't marry me. I shockingly got the answer correctly but as I was answering I handed him my ring and he got pissed. There were a few times were I took my ring off, making dinner, potting plants, doing dishes, and handed him the ring to hold onto and he wasn't paying attention to why I was giving him the ring and he would get mad. Now I just place it in the box it came in when I do those things.

He would get mad just for you handing him the ring, and automatically assume that meant you were breaking up with him? That's kind of a red flag to me.

emmyg65

Not technically, but we came together in an unusual way. It started as a one night stand that then became a fling. As soon as we realized we had real, romantic feelings for each other, we decided to call it quits. He was going through a divorce and we have a big age difference, so we were scared. But we quickly realized that those were silly reasons to not pursue a relationship that was clearly very promising. It was a bit of a rocky start, but it was totally worth it.

I know couples who have broken up and then ended up marrying, married couples who have separated and come back together, and even people who divorced and ended up getting married again!

bethsmiles

Nope, we've never broken up. We went through a rough patch in our relationship a few years ago but never considered breaking up. We worked through it and now our relationship is stronger than ever and I can't even remember the last time we had a fight.

jdluvr06

Before we got engaged we got in this huge fight and broke up for like a month. We were both miserable without each other and I called him one day and said that we were being stupid, he agreed and we've been together ever since.

Sugargirl1019

yes, we were together for 4 years before we did. We broke up for about 5 months because of impulse feelings and poor communication (I blame it on my crazy birth control!). During that time I got different birth control, we started hanging out again, and we realized that we really cannot live life without one another, and that we know each other the best. It was the most horrible time I can remember in my life -constantly feeling the ache in your heart out of missing a piece of you. He "asked me out" again by showing up the night of my sororities formal in a suit with a rose asking if I would go with him to the dance and be his girlfriend again. We got engaged 2 years later! We tried life on our own and realized we couldn't be without each other, so I will take that negative experience as a blessing.

AddieCake

I dumped my husband (he wasn't my husband then, though) while he was in boot camp (yep, I suck) and then found him again 8 years later and didn't make THAT mistake again!

HisGirlFriday13

pumpkinsandturkeys said:

StephJean83 said:

We started out as FWB and stopped having sex for a period of time. We continued to hang out and "date" but just nothing intimate. It took us 7 months to realize that what were doing was dating and have been together ever since.

We have had some real big fights, but not once have we ever considered ending it. Though jokingly he did me tell if I got some question wrong when playing Trivial Pursuit he couldn't marry me. I shockingly got the answer correctly but as I was answering I handed him my ring and he got pissed. There were a few times were I took my ring off, making dinner, potting plants, doing dishes, and handed him the ring to hold onto and he wasn't paying attention to why I was giving him the ring and he would get mad. Now I just place it in the box it came in when I do those things.

He would get mad just for you handing him the ring, and automatically assume that meant you were breaking up with him? That's kind of a red flag to me.

I'm with pumpkins. That's so weird to me. I take my rings off to do dishes or bleach things or pot plants or make meatballs or whatever and DR never bats an eye. Either the rings are in my jewellery armoire or they're in a special dish. But he never would think me taking the ring off = ending things. That's just weird.

RedJacks25

Nope, never even close to it.

smalfrie19

We have had some big fights where things have gotten nasty and its taken us a few days to come back to center and there have been time where I walked out and took a drive to clear my head, but never to the point of actually breaking up and moving out....We did however have a point where we were sorta seeing each other while I was with my ex, and I told him I was going to leave my ex and be with him and for some reason I couldn't do it and we kinda "broke up" but since we weren't really together... eventually I did make the right decision and left my ex and FI and I have been together ever since. 

pinkshorts27

We dated in HS and through undergrad. Been together 7 years now (well in March). In HS we fought because we were both immature and stubborn and during a fight I yelled "Well fine, then I don't want to see you anymore", I turned and got halfway to the door and then turned around and said "I don't mean that" and from then on out we worked on "fighting nice", meaning we work on not saying thing we don't mean, not getting side tracked, not calling names or threatening to break up. It was stupid, I was young, and we have learned a lot from the early years of fighting. I've learned to be less controlling and he has learned to be more understanding.