Formality and Time of Day

Inkdancer

So, we like to tell people that location, invitations, and time of day will indicate the formality of a wedding. This got me thinking: a late evening wedding is generally considered more formal than an afternoon wedding, but where on the spectrum do morning weddings fall?

As I understand it, morning weddings are very traditional. But how formally would you dress for one? I ask because I am having my wedding at 11 am, and I want to properly indicate the formality of the event. The venue itself is lovely, but hosts a wide variety of parties--in their gallery, some pictures are clearly very formal, others very informal. The venue is here for anyone who wants to check it out.

Thank you!

HisGirlFriday13

I think that, by dint of time of day, a morning wedding won't be as formal as a later wedding (although the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge had a morning wedding and theirs was formal). 

Men would wearing morning suits, not tuxes, of course. 

I think how I would dress would depend on what kind of wedding it is -- a church wedding vs. a ceremony/reception venue wedding. Church weddings, I think, are easier to dress for, because, well, it's church, and church is easy to dress for, right?

Your venue is really pretty! For that, I'd wear a tea-length dress, probably with a shrug or bolero (shoulders covered), and DH would wear his black suit with pinstripes, a white shirt, and a tie. 

Inkdancer

@HisGirlFriday13 Oh that makes me feel better. What you would wear is exactly the level of formality I was going for! I don't want anyone to feel obligated to wear full-length gowns, but I don't want to repeat my mom's mistakes and end up with my grandfather wearing his lawn-mowing jeans.

ETA: I would fiercely hug anyone who can talk my FI into wearing a morning suit. I think they're immensely handsome!

HisGirlFriday13

Inkdancer said:

@HisGirlFriday13 Oh that makes me feel better. What you would wear is exactly the level of formality I was going for! I don't want anyone to feel obligated to wear full-length gowns, but I don't want to repeat my mom's mistakes and end up with my grandfather wearing his lawn-mowing jeans.

LOL -- not even going to lie, I snorted on my cherry Coke at that.

I don't think, based on that venue, you have to worry about that, although people will surprise you, and there will be one person who wears something that makes you scratch your head (my friend's wife wore a floor-length, satin ball gown to our 3 p.m. Sunday afternoon wedding. She was more dressed up than the BMs).

I think you're fine. As long as your invites convey a certain level of formality, the venue certainly lends itself to more formal than casual affairs, so I think you're good.

It's a GORGEOUS venue.

cupcait927

Ditto @HisGirlFriday13 I'd wear a nice dress, at least knee length, that is fancier than what I would normally wear to work (business attire). FI would probably wear a suit.

tammym1001

I've never been to a morning wedding, but I would probably dress how I dress for church so a nice dress, but not cocktail or formal.

Inkdancer

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Inkdancer said:

@HisGirlFriday13 Oh that makes me feel better. What you would wear is exactly the level of formality I was going for! I don't want anyone to feel obligated to wear full-length gowns, but I don't want to repeat my mom's mistakes and end up with my grandfather wearing his lawn-mowing jeans.

LOL -- not even going to lie, I snorted on my cherry Coke at that.

I don't think, based on that venue, you have to worry about that, although people will surprise you, and there will be one person who wears something that makes you scratch your head (my friend's wife wore a floor-length, satin ball gown to our 3 p.m. Sunday afternoon wedding. She was more dressed up than the BMs).

I think you're fine. As long as your invites convey a certain level of formality, the venue certainly lends itself to more formal than casual affairs, so I think you're good.

It's a GORGEOUS venue.

Yeah... mom sent out an email invitation for a wedding on the beach. Guests figured that meant casual. Mom and I sure stood out with her in an ankle-length chiffon gown and me in a blue satin cocktail dress.

The venue made me cry when I first saw it because I couldn't believe that something so close to my dream venue was in my price range. It's even more beautiful in person... if you're there at the right time of morning, the light shines through the rose window and makes stained glass patterns in the aisle.

manateehugger

If I saw your formal invites and a picture of your venue (beautiful btw!), I'd show up in Sunday best. 

PrettyGirlLost

PDKH said:

If I saw your formal invites and a picture of your venue (beautiful btw!), I'd show up in Sunday best. 

Yep, same here.  That wouldn't be a cocktail dress, though.

manateehugger

PrettyGirlLost said:

PDKH said:

If I saw your formal invites and a picture of your venue (beautiful btw!), I'd show up in Sunday best. 

Yep, same here.  That wouldn't be a cocktail dress, though.

Nah, think Easter Sunday. Fuller shape and more color. 

PrettyGirlLost

PDKH said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PDKH said:

If I saw your formal invites and a picture of your venue (beautiful btw!), I'd show up in Sunday best. 

Yep, same here.  That wouldn't be a cocktail dress, though.

Nah, think Easter Sunday. Fuller shape and more color. 

Floral prints!!!!

HisGirlFriday13

I would totally wear a dress like this:

Only without the funky sleeves/cape thing going on. But I love that silhouette.

manateehugger

PrettyGirlLost said:

PDKH said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PDKH said:

If I saw your formal invites and a picture of your venue (beautiful btw!), I'd show up in Sunday best. 

Yep, same here.  That wouldn't be a cocktail dress, though.

Nah, think Easter Sunday. Fuller shape and more color. 

Floral prints!!!!

I am DYING waiting for it be warm enough for me to start running around in bright prints. 

Inkdancer

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I would totally wear a dress like this:

Only without the funky sleeves/cape thing going on. But I love that silhouette.

Where did you find that? I want it! And yeah, it'd be perfect.

HisGirlFriday13

@InkDancer -- I googled 'betty draper dress' and then selected 'images.' I love the detailing of the waist on that dress.

(not gonna lie, the fact the mannequin has NO HANDS is freaking me out a little....)

Inkdancer

And then I spent the rest of my day Googling Betty Draper dresses and wishing I could afford to buy vintage plus-size gowns.

grumbledore

OMG that dress is amazing.  I want it.

PrettyGirlLost

Inkdancer said:

And then I spent the rest of my day Googling Betty Draper dresses and wishing I could afford to buy vintage plus-size gowns.

Did you ever see this site?

cupcait927

@HisGirlFriday13 that dress is absolutely gorgeous and I must now find one like it (minus the weird sleeve thing going on)

PrettyGirlLost

Am I the only one who isn't all aboard the '50s vintage clothing train?

I think it looks cute on other people, but I just don't think it is for me.

HisGirlFriday13

ckel24 said:

@HisGirlFriday13 that dress is absolutely gorgeous and I must now find one like it (minus the weird sleeve thing going on)

What are those? Sleeves? Capes? A capelet? I'm very confused. And the no-hands-mannequin still freaks me the hell out. 

Inkdancer

@PrettyGirlLost I love their clothes! Unfortunately house hunting = no impulse purchases for me.

And I just love vintage '50s stuff because I have no hips and a large bust, so the poofy dresses balance me out!

huskypuppy14

Inkdancer said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Inkdancer said:

@HisGirlFriday13 Oh that makes me feel better. What you would wear is exactly the level of formality I was going for! I don't want anyone to feel obligated to wear full-length gowns, but I don't want to repeat my mom's mistakes and end up with my grandfather wearing his lawn-mowing jeans.

LOL -- not even going to lie, I snorted on my cherry Coke at that.

I don't think, based on that venue, you have to worry about that, although people will surprise you, and there will be one person who wears something that makes you scratch your head (my friend's wife wore a floor-length, satin ball gown to our 3 p.m. Sunday afternoon wedding. She was more dressed up than the BMs).

I think you're fine. As long as your invites convey a certain level of formality, the venue certainly lends itself to more formal than casual affairs, so I think you're good.

It's a GORGEOUS venue.

Yeah... mom sent out an email invitation for a wedding on the beach. Guests figured that meant casual. Mom and I sure stood out with her in an ankle-length chiffon gown and me in a blue satin cocktail dress.

The venue made me cry when I first saw it because I couldn't believe that something so close to my dream venue was in my price range. It's even more beautiful in person... if you're there at the right time of morning, the light shines through the rose window and makes stained glass patterns in the aisle.

I think the email invitation was what made people think it was more casual. If you send out formal mailed invites, you should be fine.

CMGragain

Inkdancer said:

So, we like to tell people that location, invitations, and time of day will indicate the formality of a wedding. This got me thinking: a late evening wedding is generally considered more formal than an afternoon wedding, but where on the spectrum do morning weddings fall?

As I understand it, morning weddings are very traditional. But how formally would you dress for one? I ask because I am having my wedding at 11 am, and I want to properly indicate the formality of the event. The venue itself is lovely, but hosts a wide variety of parties--in their gallery, some pictures are clearly very formal, others very informal. The venue is here for anyone who wants to check it out.

Thank you!

Remember Will and Kate's wedding?  I would take my cue from the Queen.  Suit, hat and gloves, and my pearls. No diamonds in the daytime!  DH would wear a suit.  This is how we dressed for daughter's church wedding.
The time of day has absolutely nothing to do with formality.  For a very formal daytime wedding, the men in the wedding party would wear cutaways (morning suit), which is proper formal daytime dress.  Cocktail dresses and tuxedos are not proper daytime dress.
If you want people to understand that a morning wedding is a dress-up affair, then order traditional heavy white invitations with raised or engraved printing.

jdluvr06

Sometimes when I read these boards I get the feeling I'm the only one who would wear jeans to church (like going to church not a wedding). What I wear would depend on the venue. It is was nicer I would wear one of the black dresses I keep on hand for weddings. If it was more casual I would wear dress pants and a nice blouse.

CMGragain

jdluvr06 said:

Sometimes when I read these boards I get the feeling I'm the only one who would wear jeans to church (like going to church not a wedding). What I wear would depend on the venue. It is was nicer I would wear one of the black dresses I keep on hand for weddings. If it was more casual I would wear dress pants and a nice blouse.

Church wear does vary widely.  Catholics trend to dress very casually.  Protestants are usually more formal, but not always.  Until I moved out west, I would not have worn pants to church.  Now everyone does.  (Better than those super short dresses they are trying to sell us!)  I only see jeans on children in our church.

STARMOON44

I routinely wear jeans to church in NYC (mine is liberal. Last Sunday one dude brought his pet lizard to the communion rail), but I still use "church clothes" as short hand for a day dress, not super business like that I could wear to work, with a flattering but not revealing cut and a pretty color. Which is what I would wear to the OP's wedding.

HisGirlFriday13

CMGragain said:

jdluvr06 said:

Sometimes when I read these boards I get the feeling I'm the only one who would wear jeans to church (like going to church not a wedding). What I wear would depend on the venue. It is was nicer I would wear one of the black dresses I keep on hand for weddings. If it was more casual I would wear dress pants and a nice blouse.

Church wear does vary widely.  Catholics trend to dress very casually.  Protestants are usually more formal, but not always. Until I moved out west, I would not have worn pants to church.  Now everyone does.  (Better than those super short dresses they are trying to sell us!)  I only see jeans on children in our church.


I respectfully disagree with the bolded. I see people more dressed up at Mass than I ever have when I visit Protestant churches with my friends.

KGold80

HisGirlFriday13 said:

CMGragain said:

jdluvr06 said:

Sometimes when I read these boards I get the feeling I'm the only one who would wear jeans to church (like going to church not a wedding). What I wear would depend on the venue. It is was nicer I would wear one of the black dresses I keep on hand for weddings. If it was more casual I would wear dress pants and a nice blouse.

Church wear does vary widely.  Catholics trend to dress very casually.  Protestants are usually more formal, but not always. Until I moved out west, I would not have worn pants to church.  Now everyone does.  (Better than those super short dresses they are trying to sell us!)  I only see jeans on children in our church.

I respectfully disagree with the bolded. I see people more dressed up at Mass than I ever have when I visit Protestant churches with my friends.

I wonder if that is due to the age or other demographic characteristics of parishioners versus the specific denomination? Mind you - I haven't set foot in a church in probably 12 years.

KGold80

And I apologize for the crappy formatting in my post above. Stupid phone won't let me edit.

larrygaga

Inkdancer said:

@HisGirlFriday13 Oh that makes me feel better. What you would wear is exactly the level of formality I was going for! I don't want anyone to feel obligated to wear full-length gowns, but I don't want to repeat my mom's mistakes and end up with my grandfather wearing his lawn-mowing jeans.

ETA: I would fiercely hug anyone who can talk my FI into wearing a morning suit. I think they're immensely handsome!

Tell him nothing turns you on more than seeing men in fancy special suits