40-Plus Brides

1st marriage for both I am 48 Intro/Deserving?

Hi, I am partly thrilled to see an over 40 brides thread, but from reading everybody's experiences (so similar to mine) it has almost cemented the sadness of people's opinions.  I am 47 now, but will be 48 when I say "I do" for the 1st time in my life.  My lifelong best friend, married twice, right from the get go said I deserve "the wedding" - very sweet of her.  But others give me an attitude like I am crazy to shell out the $$ for a big wedding (we are having 125 ppl, garden, estate, mansion in Fall 2015).  I am worried about what people will think of me in a wedding gown.  Worried about what people will say because we are spending money on a wedding when we should probably be putting it toward retirement at this stage of our lives!  I hate that I am in my late 40's and planning a wedding.  I waited my whole life for the right one.  I took marriage seriously (and have had opportunities throughout my life to say "I do") so WHY WHY do people (friends and families) have to lessen this moment for me/us/people our age when it should be something even more special?!  I did have one makeup artist tell me she had been married 3x's and was my age - because it was my 1st she thought it was special enough to give me her 2012 rates.  Haha, I don't know if she was blowing smoke up my butt but it was sweet just the same.  Guess I am looking for some acknowledgement that this marriage IS a special one, both of us never having been married which to me is very special at this age.  It just gets me angry that people have negative opinions (not on this board) that just because we waited most of our lives now we are too old to have a wedding.  Hmph!  Who says?  Who made that rule up?  I want the white (ivory) dress, I want all things wedding related.  I waited long enough darn it and I want people to be happy for me that day w/out judging.  We deserve this JUST AS MUCH or even more than a 20-something year old getting married for the 1st time in my opinion.  Just had to vent.
laurad75nicemarmot

Re: 1st marriage for both I am 48 Intro/Deserving?

  • Well said. Do it up. Do everything you want to do. It's your special day-the one you waited your WHOLE LIFE for. My fiancé and I have a saying: "you and me." Meaning, forget everyone else in their opinions, judgement, and what they deem to be "right" because at the end of the day, that's all that's there "you and me." Congrats!
  • Plan the day the way you want to remember it. You may be older getting married, but hey, better late & once then young & several times. Do what feels right for you. Granted there are some wedding dresses that in my opionion are clearly designed for that 20 something year old bride, I would say try to avoid those. There are plenty of other very beautiful wedding gowns out there designed for someone over the age of 25.
  • You deserve to have the day you want. I am 41, I am wearing a gown, I am marrying the man of my dreams after dating duds and being single for the past 20 years. I am going to enjoy my day and encourage you to do the same. Friends who don't want you too....can take a backseat and move on. 
    nicemarmot
  • And who are these ppl judging you? It is none of their business what and how you choose to spend your money. You found your soulmate. You wish to celebrate that. Who has a problem with love? Those who are afraid they don't have it themselves. Rock on and rock your dress - whatever style you choose. The love you radiate will outshine any dress, any day...
    Happiness is an inside job
  • Thank you so much everyone!!!  :)  I am much more confident after this posting.  I thought certain family members would feel that way but I reached out to them, and announced I was going to be married and have a wedding and they all seemed enthusiastic about it!  Of course, human nature, there will always be someone who will have a negative opinion but I will just have to filter those people out. 


  • I got married hen I was 18 years old. Been divorced since 1987. When I got married, I wore a prom dress and won my reception (at a disco) from a local radio station. I waited 28 years to feel the way I do today. I never thought I would ever get married again but I am all in. I am having the wedding I dreamed about for my whole life and I don't care what anyone says (no one has said anything) I have the money so it is our day and we are going to enjoy it!
    nicemarmot
  • I see this thread is a few months old, but I've recently gotten engaged, and this is my first marriage. (and my DF's, too) 
    I just wanted to chime in because I'll be 48 when I get married next September. I feel like my DF and I should be able to have whatever kind of wedding we want. Sure, there may be people who express their opinions, but I may or may not consider them.
    I know one person who at her own wedding a few years ago (she happened to be 48 y/o at that time) felt that it was ridiculous to wear a ball gown, have a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, etc. but I think SHE put that in her own head. I know she will want to impart her wedding "wisdom" on me, but with other topics I'm able to let her thoughts roll off me so I'm sure I will be able to when it comes to wedding talk.
    Enjoy your special day! I know I will! ;-)
  • We're both 50 this year and will get married next year.  We're having a casual beach wedding and an upscale reception for our closest family and friends.  Don't give a damn what anyone says - do what's right for you and listen to NO ONE!
    hutchslnicemarmot
  • It's your wedding, so you should do it the way that you and your fiancé want, regardless of what other people may think. 
    hutchsl
  • Have the perfect day you always dreamed of; it is YOUR day.  Enjoy it and congratulations.
    hutchsl
  • I'll be 48 and he will be 45. We were going to elope but he wanted me to have a proper wedding since this was both our first wedding. People will talk no matter what but remember, it's your day. You are loved and you are worth it!!
    hutchsl
  • hutchslhutchsl
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its
    member
    edited October 2014
    I was 49 when I said I do for the first time. The month after our wedding we had a 50th birthday celebration for my DH. I wore a white long trained ballgown for our outdoor wedding. I wanted some of the same hoopla as younger brides get but there wasn't the excitement and participation I had hoped from my lomngtime friends. I was in 7 weddings and only 1 of then came to mine and she was my MoH.
  • hutchslhutchsl
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its
    member
    edited October 2014
  • My boyfriend's sister just got married at 47 to her girlfriend of five years. They had a rehearsal dinner, a wedding at a winery for 120 guests, and a brunch the next day. It never once occurred to me that because of thier ages there was something wrong with a wonderful ceremony with all their friends and family, or a lavish dinner, or a live band with dancing into the night. What should they have done? Apologized and had their wedding in a basement because they are over 40? People want to celebrate with you, and you are never too old for that.

    nicemarmot
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards