Um...I'm confused...invitation help please?

VulgarGirl

So, not my invitations. But my good buddy is getting married to his long time partner...yay! I got the invitation in the mail yesterday, yay! No RSVP card, but on the back of the invite it says "Please RSVP to weddingwebsite.com"  ok groovy. 

Here's my thing...it doens't have an RSVP date. I've never gotten one without a date before....

So um...I know I should RSVP but by when? It's an out of state wedding, we need to make sure we can afford the trip, hotel, and get time off from work, so I can't say yes right away. How soon should I let them know? Two weeks before? Or...seriously has anyone come across this? I feel like the answer is simple but I'm missing it.

KatieinBkln

I guess you just RSVP when you know, or when they call you to ask you about it, whichever comes first. 

Or you could call them and ask, if that would be comfortable.

Lurkers: this is why you put a date on the RSVP. Don't make people wonder!

Maggie0829

Have you gone to the website yet?  Maybe that has the RSVP date on it.  If not, I would call up your friend and ask when they need to know.

JCbride2015

Yeah, I'd go to the website and see if it has a date.  Otherwise I wouldn't bother calling them though, just try to get them an answer a couple weeks before.  They'll call you if they need to know.

southernbelle0915

Just let them know as soon as you know. Generally, people need these numbers for venue/caterer/etc a couple weeks before the wedding. 

If you want to be proactive about it, you could send them a message like "thanks for the invitation, excited for you! not sure when you want the RSVP, but we're trying to figure out if we can make it and will let you know asap." If they actually need to know by a certain date, they might respond with one.

VulgarGirl

Just checked the wedding website, because I did not think to do that (see I told you I was missing something!), and no date on there.

I could reach out to them. We're pretty close friends. I like @southernbelle0915's wording. Cause...it sounds casual. And I might steal that.

mysticl

JCbride2015 said:

Yeah, I'd go to the website and see if it has a date.  Otherwise I wouldn't bother calling them though, just try to get them an answer a couple weeks before.  They'll call you if they need to know.

Not necessarily. Some people take no response as a "no".  

RebeccaFlower

Oh man... are you semi-close to this person? I would probably call and explain your situation and slide in there that there was so RSVP date so maybe it'll come to their attention so they can at least add a line to the website. 

pinkshorts27

mysticl said:

JCbride2015 said:

Yeah, I'd go to the website and see if it has a date.  Otherwise I wouldn't bother calling them though, just try to get them an answer a couple weeks before.  They'll call you if they need to know.

Not necessarily. Some people take no response as a "no".  


Yea, my family does and it is annoying because sometimes computers have glitches and mail gets lost.

NYCMercedes

Is it Tony?

VulgarGirl

No not Tony. He's still happily single.

AddieCake

I would contact him and ask.

Nymeru

Most etiquette books and websites said that RSVPs should be expected back within 3-4 weeks of the actual wedding, so I'd err on the side of one month before the wedding.  If you need longer than that, I'd contact your friend and let them know.