How to Tell My Mom to Buckle Down

VulgarGirl

I'm posting really more for the lurkers who might be going "OMG my mom/dad/other mom/whatever your family make up is isn't super into my wedding!" then for someone who didn't get enough attention as a child (or too much attention, I dunno, I'm not a shrink). 

I have no older siblings who are getting married or who have gotten married. Neither does FI. Between us we have six parents, 3 moms, 3 dads. None of whom are all that involved in our wedding planning. Sure, they'll help if we ask them, or give their opinion or ask how it's going, but for the most part, our wedding is our wedding and they don't care to plan it. Because that's our job. We're the ones who want the damn thing. 

My parents do not love me less because they aren't planning my wedding for me. Hell, it's kept them out of my hair. It's why I haven't been posting anything about how my mom insist we have bright yellow mums as our centerpieces when I desperately want red roses. Becasue my mom doesn't even give a shit if there are centerpieces. Which is good. I still haven't figured out what the fuck to do. 

So, I am grateful my parents apparently view me and FI as two capable adult women who can figure shit out on their own and will come to them for help/input when and if necessary. Yay for parents who can back the fuck off!

huskypuppy14

lizhurt said:

OKAY, so TL:DR sis who got engaged after me just got married; don't feel like mom is as invested in my wedding,

So, my sister and I got engaged within a short amount of time of each other. I am younger but have been with FI for four and a half years. She and her now hubby had gotten together (he is BFF of my FI) in a matter of a year. Basically they had their first romantic encounter in late December and by March she decided to move across country to be with him. I was happy for them because it was my sister, who I have seen deal with many heartaches, and a great friend of the man I love. However, I felt that my sister's biological clock (she was 30, almost 31, he was 25) was the main impetus towards their quick engagement. Even though she got engaged after me, I accepted her having an earlier wedding date (and somewhat stealing my thunder) because she was older, but now my parents seem much less invested in helping me plan my wedding (to a man who I have put in the real time with to develop a relationship meriting an engagement). Do you think it's just because they are burnt out from the first wedding (not my fault BTW) or because they value her fiance (in the Army, now a doctor) more than mine (no degree but tons of work/life experience and ambitious/successful enough to invest in a real home for us/incredibly bright and driven)? I just don't get it...

I didn't read the other comments, but it sounds like you're judging their relationship. Not cool! Everyone has their own timelines, for what works for them. You just insulted many people on here who got married within a year of meeting their now husband.

IrishPirate60

"Lizhurt" Did you make up that name deliberately so we'd know your feelings were hurt?

offensivekitten2

*yawn* OP, please make your MUD more interesting than just posing as a dumb girl who is too mentally incompetent to plan her wedding without her mommy to do it for her.