Dreadful people leaving kids in hot cars :(

kaos16

The news this morning had yet another report of a person leaving a toddler in a hot car.  This one was the nanny who left the kid to go shoplift from Target. . . . fortunately someone saw/heard the child and he was saved. 

The next clip was some politician who was giving a press conference about the epidemic.  He advised people to put something important in the backseat like a purse or cellphone to remember to look there so they won't accidentally leave a kid.  WHAT!!!!!  Shouldn't the kid be important enough to cause you to look in the back seat!?  I almost fell over when I heard that gem.

WinstonsGirl

We just had an article about some kids here who invented a heat sensor that texts you when it gets too hot in the car, so you can come get your kid out.  While I like the idea in principle, it's also kinda encouraging people to leave their kids int he car anyway.  

emmyg65

Grab a box of tissues and read this absolutely heartbreaking article about parents who accidentally left their children in cars. It can happen to anyone. This is actually one of my greatest fears about becoming a parent. (Obviously, accidents like those in the article are different from the shoplifting nanny.)

larrygaga

There are lots of ways to accidentally kill a small child.

It's so scary that you get to be in charge of a little life, and you don't even need credentials or anything!

blabla89

Since the Justin Ross Harris killed his son, there have been reports of at least two parents here in Atlanta who intentionally left their child in a car. Not with the intention to kill, but made a conscious decision to not take the child out of the car, which is un-fucking-believable.

theexactlee

I live in Orlando, I think we've already had 3 deaths.

Jells2dot0

This happens in A LOT in Arizona. There are also a lot of child drownings in pools. I feel like this happens once a week out here, which is insane. It's been over 110 degrees every day.

emmaaa

Although it is sad that they even have to suggest to use something as a reminder, I think it would work. I'm not a parent, but I know that parents are exhausted, absent-minded, busy, and humans who make mistakes. I have heard that a parent should put their cell phone in the back seat because you know you'll grab it, or the baby bag in the front seat because you'll see it before getting out of the car. There is also this: http://foxnewsinsider.com/2014/07/08/boy-andrew-pelham-invents-ez-baby-saver-prevent-hot-car-deaths

It is so sad that these children suffer and then the parents also have to live with that on their mind forever. It is definitely a huge fear I have for when I decide to have kids.

mysticl

kaos16 said:

The news this morning had yet another report of a person leaving a toddler in a hot car.  This one was the nanny who left the kid to go shoplift from Target. . . . fortunately someone saw/heard the child and he was saved. 

The next clip was some politician who was giving a press conference about the epidemic.  He advised people to put something important in the backseat like a purse or cellphone to remember to look there so they won't accidentally leave a kid.  WHAT!!!!!  Shouldn't the kid be important enough to cause you to look in the back seat!?  I almost fell over when I heard that gem.

It's actually very good advice because you probably won't get far without the wallet or the cellphone.  Another suggestion is to put your left shoe back there because you really won't get far without it.  Some of these acts may be deliberate but some are just tragic accidents.  It often happens when a parent's routine is changed.  Like dad always takes the kid to daycare but on that day mom does.  Only when she gets in the car autopilot kicks in and she just drives to work.  She doesn't check her backseat because the kid is not supposed to be in the backseat.  

Let me tell you about the day I forgot my son.  It wasn't in the car but this shows how the brain can trick you.  I was changing his diaper when one of the dogs started to heave.  I finished the diaper and didn't want the dog puking on the carpet so I got him to the hall which was tile.  After he threw up I got him outside in case it happened again and cleaned up the mess.  Since the baby was quiet I decided to do some more housekeeping but on my way passed his room I decided to poke my head in and see how he was. His crib was empty! I looked up and there he was on the changing table.  I was sure I had moved him to his crib because of course that's what I would do, I would never leave him unattended on the changing table.  In that moment I understood how a parent could leave their child in the car.  

JCbride2015

It's tragic but people make mistakes.  @mysticl has a good point that it's probably most likely to happen when your routine has changed and you're on autopilot.

One of my little sisters' classmates in elementary school was killed accidentally when somehow she was tangled in the seatbelt and dragged behind the family car.  It was truly horrible.

mysticl

And on the PSA front make sure to always lock your car.  Some of the hot car deaths occur when a small child climbs into an unlocked car without anyones knowledge and then can't get back out.  

lc07

I think we've all left something on the roof of our car like a coffee or to-go food. Or left the curling iron plugged in or the stove on. I can never find my keys. I know it's not a human but it's easy to make mistakes when you are on auto pilot, rushed, stressed, etc.

I LOVE the idea of leaving a shoe in the backseat.

pinkcow13

JCbride2015 said:

It's tragic but people make mistakes.  @mysticl has a good point that it's probably most likely to happen when your routine has changed and you're on autopilot.

One of my little sisters' classmates in elementary school was killed accidentally when somehow she was tangled in the seatbelt and dragged behind the family car.  It was truly horrible.

Whoa. How did that happen?? Like was she trying to get out the car and the parents just drove off? This sounds so gruesome.

JCbride2015

pinkcow13 said:

JCbride2015 said:

It's tragic but people make mistakes.  @mysticl has a good point that it's probably most likely to happen when your routine has changed and you're on autopilot.

One of my little sisters' classmates in elementary school was killed accidentally when somehow she was tangled in the seatbelt and dragged behind the family car.  It was truly horrible.

Whoa. How did that happen?? Like was she trying to get out the car and the parents just drove off? This sounds so gruesome.

They had a lot of kids and she was trying to get in as they were pulling away.  I have no idea how they didn't realize.  They also might have realized very quickly (obviously you can't get far) but the damage had already been done.

jenajjthr

There was an news report of a woman leaving her kids in the car just the other day because her babysitter called and cancelled on her for her job interview. She decided to leave them in the car because she had to have a means to support them. Thankfully they were found before tragedy happened. Yesterday a local news report had that a 10 month old died because her foster dads left her in the car at their house. 

As a mom, I left my son in the car once, while it was running to check the mail, and I locked him in. He was young enough to still be in a car seat. Thankfully the car was running and the air conditioning was on, but I had to call the base police to come and use their equipment to unlock my car. I was beyond embarrassed and was lucky not to get a ticket. They did let me know I shouldn't do that though. I was young and dumb and was trying to save walking and a few minutes of time. That was the first and last time he was left in the car. But like other PP's have said I can see how tragic accidents can happen when you are on "auto-pilot" and in your routine. Those simple devices or tricks that may seem stupid and shouldn't be needed are actually quite needed for anyone. We all go on "auto-pilot" at times, not just parents. 

WinstonsGirl

My Mom locked me in the car when I was a baby.  Put me in the car seat, buckled me up, locked the door and shut it, then realizing that the keys were in the car with me.  It was just an automatic reaction, so I can totally understand how a change in routine can allow it to happen.  Mom freaked, cos it was winter and she though I would freeze before my Dad got home with the extra keys.  I slept through the whole thing, bundled up warm and in the garage.  

lc07

JCbride2015 said:

pinkcow13 said:

JCbride2015 said:

It's tragic but people make mistakes.  @mysticl has a good point that it's probably most likely to happen when your routine has changed and you're on autopilot.

One of my little sisters' classmates in elementary school was killed accidentally when somehow she was tangled in the seatbelt and dragged behind the family car.  It was truly horrible.

Whoa. How did that happen?? Like was she trying to get out the car and the parents just drove off? This sounds so gruesome.

They had a lot of kids and she was trying to get in as they were pulling away.  I have no idea how they didn't realize.  They also might have realized very quickly (obviously you can't get far) but the damage had already been done.

One time I was out with a group and the driver pulled up to the curb to pick us all up, everyone got in, and the person sitting shot gun shut their door and the people in the back right shut their door, I had one foot in and one foot out getting in the back seat behind the driver and was climbing in when the driver started pulling away from the curb. He heard the other doors shut and was in a hurry and just didn't think. Everyone yelled and he stopped quickly and I was fine. But I could see how if it was a small child they could fall down and be run over by the back tires pretty quickly. That's really tragic. 

MrsDeRuyter87

there is a difference between accidently locking a child in a car when getting mail or even getting ready to go somewhere...but I find it hard to believe you accidently forgot them when you went to the mall or went to work. As a parent I don't see how you can remember to get your cell phone but not your child...people's priorities are F'd

lc07

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

there is a difference between accidently locking a child in a car when getting mail or even getting ready to go somewhere...but I find it hard to believe you accidently forgot them when you went to the mall or went to work. As a parent I don't see how you can remember to get your cell phone but not your child...people's priorities are F'd

I am not a parent but I disagree. I think it's a mistake that anyone could make, especially if multi-tasking or being out of a routine. We are human. It has nothing to do with priorities. 

JCbride2015

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

there is a difference between accidently locking a child in a car when getting mail or even getting ready to go somewhere...but I find it hard to believe you accidently forgot them when you went to the mall or went to work. As a parent I don't see how you can remember to get your cell phone but not your child...people's priorities are F'd

I disagree too, and I find your post really judgmental.  Please read the article EmmyG posted, about higher vs base memory and how a change in routine can lead to a tragic mistake.

ETA: http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

pinkcow13

lc07 said:

JCbride2015 said:

pinkcow13 said:

JCbride2015 said:

It's tragic but people make mistakes.  @mysticl has a good point that it's probably most likely to happen when your routine has changed and you're on autopilot.

One of my little sisters' classmates in elementary school was killed accidentally when somehow she was tangled in the seatbelt and dragged behind the family car.  It was truly horrible.

Whoa. How did that happen?? Like was she trying to get out the car and the parents just drove off? This sounds so gruesome.

They had a lot of kids and she was trying to get in as they were pulling away.  I have no idea how they didn't realize.  They also might have realized very quickly (obviously you can't get far) but the damage had already been done.

One time I was out with a group and the driver pulled up to the curb to pick us all up, everyone got in, and the person sitting shot gun shut their door and the people in the back right shut their door, I had one foot in and one foot out getting in the back seat behind the driver and was climbing in when the driver started pulling away from the curb. He heard the other doors shut and was in a hurry and just didn't think. Everyone yelled and he stopped quickly and I was fine. But I could see how if it was a small child they could fall down and be run over by the back tires pretty quickly. That's really tragic. 

Oh man. That's so horrible and sad. LC glad you were fine with that incident.

manateehugger

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

there is a difference between accidently locking a child in a car when getting mail or even getting ready to go somewhere...but I find it hard to believe you accidently forgot them when you went to the mall or went to work. As a parent I don't see how you can remember to get your cell phone but not your child...people's priorities are F'd

I also disagree.

I think responsible parents own up to the fact that they are not perfect, but do the best they can to make sure their children are safe by adopting practices such as leaving their phone or wallet or shoe (best suggestion) in the backseat every day. 

Acceptance of the possibility of screw up and subsequent mitigation is the best thing someone can do. 

pinkcow13

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

there is a difference between accidently locking a child in a car when getting mail or even getting ready to go somewhere...but I find it hard to believe you accidently forgot them when you went to the mall or went to work. As a parent I don't see how you can remember to get your cell phone but not your child...people's priorities are F'd

I see where you're coming from, and I used to think that way. I think it seems easy to think that when you have a child, you would never forget the child, but I guess I can see where a mistake can happen. Nobody is perfect, but like someone above mentioned, when your routine is rocked, that can be a factor. I actually have a story that I had forgotten about. I don't have kids, but I do have cats, and to me they are the closest to children, FI and I treat them like babies. Especially me, I love them to death. 

One day, we were in a rush to check out a wedding venue. I decided to feed them before leaving. We have to feed them separately, and lock one of them in the bedroom, because Pesto always finishes first and then bullies Kapuchee and eats his food. So on this day, we were running late, and I was rushing. I fed them, we got everything together, and it wasn't until we were on the train that I turned to FI in a panic and asked him if he let Kapuchee out. He said no, and I was like OMG I don't think I did either. Now, I know it is not a child in a hot car. But, I am very careful with my cats. The bedroom did not contain a litter box, or a waterbowl. I know it was a few hours, and he could survive a few hours without water (which he barely drinks because we feed them wet food), but still. I could not believe that I forgot something so simple, open the damn door before leaving to let the cat out. Again, very minor incident, but it did help me realize that no matter how careful we are as parents and caretakers, mistakes can happen.

MrsDeRuyter87

Look I'm not saying it doesn't happen...all I am saying is that it says something when we remember to grab a cell phone but not our child. I think people are using the "i forgot" excuse as a cop out because they knew they left their kid in the car on purpose to get a hair cut or whatever. Do all parents who leave their kid in the car do it on purpose...no of course not mistakes happen but it shouldn't happen this much.

JCbride2015

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

Look I'm not saying it doesn't happen...all I am saying is that it says something when we remember to grab a cell phone but not our child. I think people are using the "i forgot" excuse as a cop out because they knew they left their kid in the car on purpose to get a hair cut or whatever. Do all parents who leave their kid in the car do it on purpose...no of course not mistakes happen but it shouldn't happen this much.

I think it's easier to imagine those people did it on purpose, because we don't want to believe every human being has the capacity to make a catastrophic mistake like that.

kat1114

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

Look I'm not saying it doesn't happen...all I am saying is that it says something when we remember to grab a cell phone but not our child. I think people are using the "i forgot" excuse as a cop out because they knew they left their kid in the car on purpose to get a hair cut or whatever. Do all parents who leave their kid in the car do it on purpose...no of course not mistakes happen but it shouldn't happen this much.

I think you should really read the Washington Post article posted earlier. Yes, there are definitely people like the Georgia dad who googled "how long does it take for a kid to die in a hot car", who do it on purpose. However, the Washington Post article did a great job of showing how good, loving, caring parents had one lapse of memory that lead to a tragic result. 

lc07

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

Look I'm not saying it doesn't happen...all I am saying is that it says something when we remember to grab a cell phone but not our child. I think people are using the "i forgot" excuse as a cop out because they knew they left their kid in the car on purpose to get a hair cut or whatever. Do all parents who leave their kid in the car do it on purpose...no of course not mistakes happen but it shouldn't happen this much.

So far in 2014, 18 children have died in hot cars. It's not really that much. Obviously, it's 18 kids too many but it's a small number.

ETA: In the USA

hellosweetie1015

This is something that I am legitimately terrified of doing. I have the worst habit of getting in a routine and completely spacing when it changes. I have driven to the wrong apartment at least once every time I moved. When I was driving an afterschool bus, if we changed the route I routinely had to detour to fix it when I went the wrong way. I went to schools when I had no kids there to pick up that day. When my personal car's gearshift was in a different place than the bus's gearshift, I confused the locations and would try to shift where there was no shifter. I forget to bring things in to the house, I leave things in the house when I'm supposed to take them. The necklace FI gave me when he proposed? I forgot it this morning because I was in a rush.

I am so afraid this will happen. I am not even sure if the shoe trick will help me.

amakayeb

That was an incredibly well-written, incredibly powerful article...

MrsDeRuyter87

You guys are missing the point of what I am saying so I will only simplify it further...I don't think everyone is perfect and it should NEVER happen...I openly said I understand mistakes happen. My only point is that I feel some people who do it, do it on purpose because of the hassle of having to bring a kid in and out of a car when running errands...I also think it's sad that people are more mindful of where their cellphone is than their children.

mysticl

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

Look I'm not saying it doesn't happen...all I am saying is that it says something when we remember to grab a cell phone but not our child. I think people are using the "i forgot" excuse as a cop out because they knew they left their kid in the car on purpose to get a hair cut or whatever. Do all parents who leave their kid in the car do it on purpose...no of course not mistakes happen but it shouldn't happen this much.

When you walk into work you are supposed to have your cell phone, or your wallet, or your briefcase, or your shoe.  You are not supposed to have your child.  So you notice when you don't have the things you are supposed to have and you go get them.  You don't look around your office and say "oh shit my kid isn't here" because your kid isn't supposed to be there.  So if your daily routine is to get up, get dressed, and drive straight to work that is what you do.  Like I said before this seems to happen most often when the routine is changed and the "wrong" parent transports the child.    ETF: typo