Wedding Date Woes

miniac

Hi everyone, need your opinion here. My fiance and I are trying to nail down our wedding date and so far we've narrowed it down to our desired venue, which is primarily outdoors. We would ideally like to have it on a Saturday, but each Saturday that is left presents a unique dilemma:

June 6 - In Toronto, Canada early June tends to be quite chilly, especially in the evening. We went to a wedding around this time last year and it was freezing and un-enjoyable. This is also the time of year where we get lots of mosquitos and other swampy insects, and the venue backs onto a still pond. 

August 15 - my family friends' daughter is getting married this weekend. There are about 3 couples that are mutual friends with our respective parents, and we would be invited to her wedding and she to ours. Therefore, there would be a total of 16 people, including ourselves and immediate families that would overlap.

August 29 - this is the Saturday of the Labour Day long weekend. I think the weather will be fine, but it interferes with the long weekend.

September 19 - same issue as June 6 in that it will probably be quite cold in the evening.

My sister says to take the long weekend, and my mom says it's fine to take the 15th. What are your thoughts?

GBCK

Don't do it on a long weekend.  It breaks up the weekend and unless you're a sibling or a BFF, no way in hell am I canceling my holiday plans to go to a wedding.

Other than that, it's always going to be 6 of 1, 1/2 dozen of the other sort of trade offs. Pair them off, flip a coin, and make your decision by what you want when the coin is in midair.

miniac

Thanks GBCK. Do you think it's incredibly rude though, to choose the date that overlaps with the family friend's wedding? 

kns1988

I don't think it's bad to do it on a long weekend. My wedding is on a weekend that's a long weekend for some people, but not all (Columbus Day). It didn't even occur to me that that would be a weekend people would be concerned about. Maybe I would have had second thoughts if it were over the 4th of July or something, since people usually have plans for that holiday.

I would definitely go to a wedding over a long weekend if I were good friends with the couple. I think it would be a fun way to spend my time off.

VarunaTT

Have your mom/dad (whoever is the family friend connection) call and explain the situation.  They might understand, they might not, but that's not really a reason to keep you from picking the date that is going to work for your wedding.  And no, it's not rude, I'm assuming you're not backing out (or anyone else is) on agreed to responsibilities for that wedding.

Send a nice gift in lieu of attendance.

Bubblegum5586

I vote for the long weekend. Of the dates you listed and reasons, I think that is the best choice. I personally don't mind holiday weekend weddings, and if I have to travel it is one less day I have to work. I would suggest getting StDs out earlier so people don't have plans...

schellzinator

Not ideal choices for you unfortunately. I'd do the long weekend as well with the expectation that you may get more declines than if you chose another non-long weekend. I personally don't prefer holiday weekend weddings - but depending on who you are and my relationship with you, I'd either make every effort to come or I'd decline. I think the responses you are going to get will be a mixed bag on here. I don't think it is rude to schedule it on the 15 - but I understand why you are hesitating.

*Barbie*

maybe you want to look for another venue, given the weather and date concerns. 

I wouldn't have anything outdoors because you can never prepare for it, and there's a good chance people will be uncomfortable (extreme weather, precipitation, bugs, etc.) Being cold and getting eaten alive does not scream "good time" for me. 

I probably wouldn't attend a holiday weekend wedding unless it was 

1) local

2) the B&G were very close family or friends. 

The overlap date seems like the lesser of evils, but at the same time, you need to understand and accept that people may choose to attend the other wedding over yours (especially if this couple has already booked/sent STD, etc.), and that the other couple may be all butthurt due to the overlap (you trying to steal "their day.") - which could have a negative impact on the friendship. 

sarawifenow

I know you said that you would prefer a Saturday, but would you be willing to change to a Friday evening or Sunday wedding? It might help with the overlap and you may have more options. If not, maybe look at nearby venues that have some similar aspects to the venue you like? All of this is just suggestions.

 

I would personally go for the long weekend, but then again, I don't mind weddings on holiday weekends.

falsara

My Wedding is on a long weekend, but most people just sleep in on Memorial Day.  The only reason we picked that weekend though is because we're getting married on my birthday. 

Be prepared that some people may choose not to come, but some people do enjoy the long weekend if they have to travel far.  It gives them a chance to still enjoy the weekend. 

I also recommend sending STDs and Invites out earlier than normal, and alos possibly blocking hotel rooms sooner than normal.

jennyleigh16

My date is Sept 19th in Ottawa and my ceremony is outside. I'm not really worried about the cold, and Toronto should be a little more mild than my area. There won't be bugs that late in the season and if you're worried about it being chilly outside you can rent portable heaters from your rental company. That's my vote. I'd be a little annoyed at giving up my Labour day weekend. 

Heffalump

cwradford said:

My Wedding is on a long weekend, but most people just sleep in on Memorial Day.

I wouldn't necessarily agree with that.  Depends on where you live, I think--it's a ghost town around here on long weekends, because everyone heads for the mountains, the coast, or further afield.

Personally, I wouldn't attend a wedding on a long weekend unless we really, really liked the couple.  Otherwise, it's too much of a sacrifice.

Heffalump

*Barbie* said:

I wouldn't have anything outdoors because you can never prepare for it, and there's a good chance people will be uncomfortable (extreme weather, precipitation, bugs, etc.) Being cold and getting eaten alive does not scream "good time" for me.

I usually agree with Barbie, but not on this.  We were married outdoors (botanic garden) and it was perfect for us.  You do have to have contingency plans in case of weather, though.  In our case, it was NBD since only the ceremony was outside, and if the weather hadn't cooperated, it would have moved indoors, where we were having the reception regardless.

Given your choices, if cold is a real risk I'd probably go for the overlap date.

raissyrais

@peekstar I don't know how important Labor Day weekend is for you Toronto people, but for us here in Montreal it's just party and fun and less family time (duh, it's Montreal!). That's why a wedding would fit in there and is more appropriate. It is also easier for people to attend weddings if there is a long weekend involved since they have extra time to travel and extra time to play and get over hangovers.

I also totally understand the chilly weather of June 6th and September 19th which I would COMPLETELY WITHOUT any hesitation rule out for your wedding UNLESS everything is held inside i.e ceremony, cocktail and reception.

If the overlapping date is not important to you then go with it but knowing us Canadians, I would totally go for the Labour Day weekend. 

ETA: jumbled fingers

jacques27

Isn't Labour Day in Canada the same date as Labor Day in the US?  The first Monday of September?  And I'm assuming you're talking about 2015 since you start off with a June date and that ship has sailed for 2014 and August 29th is a Monday in 2016.

Because Labo(u)r Day in 2015 is Monday, September 7th.  Meaning August 29th is not the Saturday of the long holiday weekend.

ETA:   Yup.  http://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/canada/2015

Fairyjen1

    I don't think there's anything rude about having your wedding on a long weekend. I would check with my VIPs and if they were okay with it I would pick that and just realize that a lot of your other guests may not come because of it. If you are okay with that just go for it. You aren't going to find a weekend that is good for every guest unless you are doing like us and only having 18 guests. 

lc07

Why does it being cold matter? Choose one of the potentially cold weekends and plan an indoor wedding.

ETA: Oh, I'm a dumbass. You want an outdoor venue. I'd re think that and choose one of the other weekends.

*Barbie*

Heffalump said:

*Barbie* said:

I wouldn't have anything outdoors because you can never prepare for it, and there's a good chance people will be uncomfortable (extreme weather, precipitation, bugs, etc.) Being cold and getting eaten alive does not scream "good time" for me.

I usually agree with Barbie, but not on this.  We were married outdoors (botanic garden) and it was perfect for us.  You do have to have contingency plans in case of weather, though.  In our case, it was NBD since only the ceremony was outside, and if the weather hadn't cooperated, it would have moved indoors, where we were having the reception regardless.

Given your choices, if cold is a real risk I'd probably go for the overlap date.

I think it's very dependant on the location and season that you're planning to have the wedding - we got married in October in Philly. It could have been 70 degrees and it could have been snowing. It was in the 40s-50s the whole week or two prior to the wedding, but in the upper 60s on the day-of. 

It sounds like you had a contingency plan in case of bad weather, but OP doesn't. She also mentioned a mosquito issue, which doesn't sound particularly pleasant. 

raissyrais

@jacques27 That is so weird cause I remember checking two months ago and I swear Labour Day in Canada was September 1st. I even put it on my fridge as a work reminder! That is really bizarre...oh well.

larrygaga

I despise labor day weekend weddings. I only go if I'm a sibling, at this point.

Nothing generally wrong with holiday weekend weddings, but you are forcing people to choose between a long-awaited vacation for themselves and seeing you get married. That choice REALLY SUCKS

miniac

jacques27 said:

Isn't Labour Day in Canada the same date as Labor Day in the US?  The first Monday of September?  And I'm assuming you're talking about 2015 since you start off with a June date and that ship has sailed for 2014 and August 29th is a Monday in 2016.

Because Labo(u)r Day in 2015 is Monday, September 7th.  Meaning August 29th is not the Saturday of the long holiday weekend.

ETA:   Yup.  http://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/canada/2015

You are right!! I realized that after looking at my calendar for another reason. So my dilemma is resolved! August 29th it is. Although this thread did provide an interesting discussion on what people would choose given the circumstances I laid out. thanks everyone!