Include flower girl and ring bearer?

princess146

So me and my fiancée aren't having a real wedding ceremony. Instead we are just going to the courthouse and getting married, hoping all the bridesmaids and groomsman will be aloud in there. But since we already want our son to be the ring bearer and my young sister to be a flower girl and to take part in some way, would it be weird if at the reception we have the flower girl come out with her flower petals before the wedding party is announced and the ring bearer come and give us our rings after we sit down?

chibiyui

princess146 said:

So me and my fiancée aren't having a real wedding ceremony. Instead we are just going to the courthouse and getting married, hoping all the bridesmaids and groomsman will be aloud in there. But since we already want our son to be the ring bearer and my young sister to be a flower girl and to take part in some way, would it be weird if at the reception we have the flower girl come out with her flower petals before the wedding party is announced and the ring bearer come and give us our rings after we sit down?

So. You are having a real ceremony, you're just not having a church wedding.

I don't think it would be an issue to have them walk in with the party, but if they aren't present at the ceremony, they aren't really being a ring bearer or flower girl. I'd just get pictures with them and call it a day.

princess146

Well we're not having a ceremony or church wedding. we're just going to the courthouse and getting our marriage license and all that good stuff.

misshart00

princess146 said:

Well we're not having a ceremony or church wedding. we're just going to the courthouse and getting our marriage license and all that good stuff.

That's a ceremony. Just not a church ceremony. Nothing wrong with a courthouse ceremony, but it's still a ceremony.

AddieCake

You're having a courthouse ceremony complete with a wedding party. How can you not consider that a ceremony? It will be fine to have your flower girl and ring bearer do what you suggested.

princess146

AddieCake said:

You're having a courthouse ceremony complete with a wedding party. How can you not consider that a ceremony? It will be fine to have your flower girl and ring bearer do what you suggested.

Sorry, like I said young new bride here. I thought a ceremony was a church wedding.

misshart00

What if you hired an officiant to come do the ceremony at your reception venue? That way you can include everyone you want to.

lurkergirl

princess146

lurkergirl said:

How the fuck am I a troll? This site is the worst site I've been on by far, people wise. People here are so rude. Thought this was a place for brides to be to have their questions answered?

chibiyui

Oh you're back.

Well, you seem to have a lack of respect for courthouse weddings, and an inability to Google, so yes. People will assume you're a troll.

princess146

chibiyui said:

Oh you're back. Well, you seem to have a lack of respect for courthouse weddings, and an inability to Google, so yes. People will assume you're a troll.

So if everyone can just google stuff why is there a discussion board here?? And how do I have a lack of respect for courthouse weddings?

lurkergirl

chibiyui

princess146 said:

chibiyui said:

Oh you're back.

Well, you seem to have a lack of respect for courthouse weddings, and an inability to Google, so yes. People will assume you're a troll.

So if everyone can just google stuff why is there a discussion board here?? And how do I have a lack of respect for courthouse weddings?


You're the type that gets made when tech support asks you if you're computer is turned on and plugged in to a working outlet aren't you?

princess146

chibiyui said:

chibiyui said:

Oh you're back. Well, you seem to have a lack of respect for courthouse weddings, and an inability to Google, so yes. People will assume you're a troll.

So if everyone can just google stuff why is there a discussion board here?? And how do I have a lack of respect for courthouse weddings?

You're the type that gets made when tech support asks you if you're computer is turned on and plugged in to a working outlet aren't you?

sorry, but I wouldn't be that stupid. I just find it rude that I come to this site looking for ideas and all I get is negative feedback.

chibiyui

princess146 said:

chibiyui said:

princess146 said:

chibiyui said:

Oh you're back.

Well, you seem to have a lack of respect for courthouse weddings, and an inability to Google, so yes. People will assume you're a troll.

So if everyone can just google stuff why is there a discussion board here?? And how do I have a lack of respect for courthouse weddings?

You're the type that gets made when tech support asks you if you're computer is turned on and plugged in to a working outlet aren't you?

sorry, but I wouldn't be that stupid. I just find it rude that I come to this site looking for ideas and all I get is negative feedback.


.................. yep. You've confirmed it.

CMGragain

@Princess146,  Thousands of couples are married in courthouse ceremonies every year.  You said that a courthouse ceremony wasn't "a real wedding ceremony".  This is very offensive.

If you want attendants and flower girl/ring bearers, you can easily hire an officiant to perform the same ceremony at your reception site.  This way, everyone gets to see your ceremony, the attendants participate, and it won't cost you much.  In many states, friends or relatives can be ordained on-line, and can perform a basic civil ceremony.  In Pennsylvania and Colorado, you don't need an officiant at all.

Having bridesmaids, ring bearer and flower girl at a courthouse makes no sense.  Having them only at the reception is just silly.

misshart00

Why don't you look at mine and CMGr's advice?

princess146

CMGragain said:

@Princess146,  Thousands of couples are married in courthouse ceremonies every year.  You said that a courthouse ceremony wasn't "a real wedding ceremony".  This is very offensive.

If you want attendants and flower girl/ring bearers, you can easily hire an officiant to perform the same ceremony at your reception site.  This way, everyone gets to see your ceremony, the attendants participate, and it won't cost you much.  In many states, friends or relatives can be ordained on-line, and can perform a basic civil ceremony.  In Pennsylvania and Colorado, you don't need an officiant at all.

Having bridesmaids, ring bearer and flower girl at a courthouse makes no sense.  Having them only at the reception is just silly.

I never said it wasn't a real ceremony. I said I didn't know it was. I always thought it was just a church wedding or an outside wedding with all the guests invited. I hear of plenty of people that have courthouse weddings and still take their bridesmaids and groomsman with them so they can still be apart of it.

holyguacamole79

You'll need to call the courthouse ahead of time and check on the capacity. Some places only allow you, FI, and a witness.

princess146

sarahbear31 said:

You'll need to call the courthouse ahead of time and check on the capacity. Some places only allow you, FI, and a witness.

that's what I plan on doing. that's why I said I was hoping they all would be aloud.

lurkergirl

princess146 said:

sarahbear31 said:

You'll need to call the courthouse ahead of time and check on the capacity. Some places only allow you, FI, and a witness.

that's what I plan on doing. that's why I said I was hoping they all would be aloud.

It's probably best if they're quiet.

Jen4948

A wedding at a courthouse IS a "real wedding."

Whether or not you can have a ring bearer and flower girl depends on the rules of the courthouse and its capacity.  If it doesn't violate any rules at the courthouse, and there is room in the courtroom, judge's chambers, or office where you marry, then I don't see why they can't be there.  But I'd skip the petal scattering.

As to "rudeness": You asked for and received advice.  It may not have been what you wanted to hear, but it was advice.  If you don't want to take it, that's up to you, but accusing people of "rudeness" over it is not appropriate and is "rude" as well as hypocritical in and of itself.

southernbelle0915

Ditto PPs, courthouse is a "real wedding". If non-church weddings weren't "real" I wouldn't have had a "real" one either because I got married outside.

Anyway... Why don't you have the FG toss petals and the RB blow bubbles before you get announced into the reception?

MyNameIsNot

Check with the the courthouse about the rules for attendants at the ceremony.  It depends on space and so on.  Some places will allow you to bring a large number of guests and even allow attendants, but they still probably aren't going to allow petals to be spread and such.  You need to talk to the courthouse staff and find out the rules before you start thinking about asking people to stand up for you.  If you can't have bridesmaids at the ceremony, you don't have bridesmaids.

Once you know the rules, then you can decide whether you're happy working within them or taking the ceremony to the reception venue, where you can make your own rules.

CMGragain

princess146 said:

So me and my fiancée aren't having a real wedding ceremony. Instead we are just going to the courthouse and getting married, hoping all the bridesmaids and groomsman will be aloud in there. But since we already want our son to be the ring bearer and my young sister to be a flower girl and to take part in some way, would it be weird if at the reception we have the flower girl come out with her flower petals before the wedding party is announced and the ring bearer come and give us our rings after we sit down?

CMGragain

princess146 said:

CMGragain said:

@Princess146,  Thousands of couples are married in courthouse ceremonies every year.  You said that a courthouse ceremony wasn't "a real wedding ceremony".  This is very offensive.

If you want attendants and flower girl/ring bearers, you can easily hire an officiant to perform the same ceremony at your reception site.  This way, everyone gets to see your ceremony, the attendants participate, and it won't cost you much.  In many states, friends or relatives can be ordained on-line, and can perform a basic civil ceremony.  In Pennsylvania and Colorado, you don't need an officiant at all.

Having bridesmaids, ring bearer and flower girl at a courthouse makes no sense.  Having them only at the reception is just silly.

I never said it wasn't a real ceremony. I said I didn't know it was. I always thought it was just a church wedding or an outside wedding with all the guests invited. I hear of plenty of people that have courthouse weddings and still take their bridesmaids and groomsman with them so they can still be apart of it.

Gee, then what's that in the previous quote???

atlastmrsg

chibiyui said:

chibiyui said:

chibiyui said:

Oh you're back. Well, you seem to have a lack of respect for courthouse weddings, and an inability to Google, so yes. People will assume you're a troll.

So if everyone can just google stuff why is there a discussion board here?? And how do I have a lack of respect for courthouse weddings?

You're the type that gets made when tech support asks you if you're computer is turned on and plugged in to a working outlet aren't you?

sorry, but I wouldn't be that stupid. I just find it rude that I come to this site looking for ideas and all I get is negative feedback.

.................. yep. You've confirmed it.

You get negative feedback when you post bad ideas/things that are bad taste.  Money dances are tacky and shouldn't be done.  Parents won't let little kids sit alone at a children's table for the whole night.  Courthouses don't do rose petals and all that jazz.  

If you're struggling this much, get a wedding planner.  You need the help and reality check that s/he can offer.  And then you won't have to be upset that the people here don't like your ideas.

princessleia22

I won't even get into having a reception with people not invited to the ceremony (yes, what you are having is still a ceremony, just a less formal one). And if you look, even through recent posts, you will find that you shouldn't do a "redo" of ceremony elements at the reception, especially if it's to show off for people you didn't invite to the ceremony. But, regarding your actual question: #1: Yes, it would be weird to have flower girl & ring bearer do their ceremony duties at the reception. #2: Why would you not be wearing your rings at your reception? #3: Why don't you have your kids do these duties at the courthouse ceremony? There's no reason they couldn't. The only think I could see being restricted is maybe dropping petals. My venue used to not allow dropping petals, but ended up changing to allow it as long as we picked them up afterward. But, if they don't allow dropping petals, she could just hold a bouquet or flower pomander, which is rather common for flower girls these days anyway.

princessleia22

Sorry... there were paragraphs there. Currently TK isn't letting me fix it in edit.

atlastmrsg

@nicoann Add a blank line with a <"p"> in it between what you want to be paragraphs (minus the quotation marks). If that doesn't fix it, sometimes you have to do two lines, each with a <"p"> for it to take.