Help! Extremely low budget

Knottie24721711

I have finally decided on a date for my wedding (Aug 8, 2015) 11 months away. My fiancé is the last in his family (besides his uncle), so no financial help from that end, and my mom is divorced and struggling to pay her own bills and raise my 2 younger sisters. I have hinted to my dad about helping with budgeting and have not gotten a straightforward response, so if any help I'm not expecting much. My fiancé and I have worked some numbers and can come up with only $2000 budget. I need help finding a venue that doesn't break the bank. I'm pretty crafty so I'm not worried about decor, and I am even thinking about baking the cake/cupcakes. I have found a website for very cheap dresses (if i wear one, groom is just wearing nice pants with a nice shirt). Any help and advice would be a big help and greatly appreciated!!!

JCbride2015

Knottie24721711 said:

I have finally decided on a date for my wedding (Aug 8, 2015) 11 months away. My fiancé is the last in his family (besides his uncle), so no financial help from that end, and my mom is divorced and struggling to pay her own bills and raise my 2 younger sisters. I have hinted to my dad about helping with budgeting and have not gotten a straightforward response, so if any help I'm not expecting much. My fiancé and I have worked some numbers and can come up with only $2000 budget. I need help finding a venue that doesn't break the bank. I'm pretty crafty so I'm not worried about decor, and I am even thinking about baking the cake/cupcakes. I have found a website for very cheap dresses (if i wear one, groom is just wearing nice pants with a nice shirt). Any help and advice would be a big help and greatly appreciated!!!

To the bolded, you really shouldn't have done that.  Nobody but you and Fi are responsible to pay for your wedding.  Period.  Your dad would have offered if he wanted to give a gift, but he hasn't offered, so you're best off just not mentioning it again.

You could go to the courthouse and avoid the costs of hosting any guests at all, but it sounds like you want at least some guests and a reception, yes?

First figure out the number of guests you absolutely must have there.  That will help guide your budget.  For example, if you only want to have your immediate families, you can host a really fancy dinner for about 10-15 people on $2000.  If you want 100 people there, you of course have less to spend per person.

The least expensive option would be to do a non-mealtime reception with cake and punch.  If you start at 2pm or 8pm, you will avoid the cost of hosting a meal.  You don't need to provide alcohol, just cake/cupcakes (homemade is fine) and some non-alcoholic drinks like punch and soda.  You can do this in your backyard, in the church hall, at a park, at a community center, or a hall like a firehouse, VFW, Elks, etc.

If you really want to serve a meal, you could also do barbecue or pizza without spending too much on food.  Or try a breakfast or brunch reception; these are generally half the cost of providing dinner.

Please keep in mind a few ideas we see around here that are not appropriate options: cash bar, BYOB, potluck, having your wedding over a mealtime but not serving a full meal.  Once you invite guests, they should be hosted with food appropriate to the time of day, at least a few non-alcoholic beverage options, and they should not have to open their wallets for anything.

lurkergirl

Check your area for elopement and private ceremony packages.  I  know where I am there are all sorts of cool packages for under $1000.  Some of these packages even include photography.

If you're set on having more than a few guests, you are going to have your work cut out for you.

I would caution against thinking you'll save money on decor by DIY.  I am doing some DIY decor myself, and I can promise you that all the supplies you need will add up very quickly.  I mean just for DIY centerpieces, floral arrangements, bouquets, and bouts I'm going to be around at least $500, easily.  I wouldn't be surprised at all if that doubles to $1000 by the time I'm finished.

Do you have an idea of how many guests you want?  JCBride pretty much covered your options, but we might be able to give you better ideas if you share that with us.

atlastmrsg

If you have 11 months, even if you saved an additional $100 per month, you'll have $1,100 more to spend.  If a certain kind of wedding is what you want, and you can't do it for $2,000, then you need to look at your priorities.  Or move the date back.  My engagement was 1.5 years, and it was great--had the time to pay for my perfect wedding.

If you don't want to prioritize or move the date, than it looks like you may be having a courthouse wedding with lunch afterwards at a restaurant with the few people closest to you.  Or a non-mealtime wedding at a local beach/lake/park/somewhere inexpensive.  A wedding license will cost $30-$60-ish dollars, an officiant another $50-$250.  What this means...$2,000 will go very fast.  Is it do-able?  Yes!  Will you have to be creative and cut out costs like big (even DIY) centerpieces, yes.  Remember what's said above--guests don't contribute.  They don't bring a dish, bottle of wine, pay admission, etc.  Whatever you decide, you have to pay for it.

climbingsingle

Stop asking your father for financial help. As PP said, put away $100 a month. That will give you at least some more money to work with. Post on your local board for help finding a venue.

msuprincess04

Knottie24721711 said:

I have finally decided on a date for my wedding (Aug 8, 2015) 11 months away. My fiancé is the last in his family (besides his uncle), so no financial help from that end, and my mom is divorced and struggling to pay her own bills and raise my 2 younger sisters. I have hinted to my dad about helping with budgeting and have not gotten a straightforward response, so if any help I'm not expecting much. My fiancé and I have worked some numbers and can come up with only $2000 budget. I need help finding a venue that doesn't break the bank. I'm pretty crafty so I'm not worried about decor, and I am even thinking about baking the cake/cupcakes. I have found a website for very cheap dresses (if i wear one, groom is just wearing nice pants with a nice shirt). Any help and advice would be a big help and greatly appreciated!!!

To the above, you can find some great deals at David's Bridal or on CraigsList. You can also check out preowned wedding dress websites. Please avoid any Chinese knock-off sites. There are a million of them that look totally ligitimate until you order and get a horrible product and amazingly can no longer reach them.

loveislouder

My girlfriend didn't want a big wedding, but wanted the fancy dress. So they got married at the court house, and then walked down the street to the bowling alley she and FI rented out. They had their families and close friends there, fed them pizza and had a grand ol' time bowling in her dress.

Knottie24721711

I know asking for money from dad has upset some of you, but he said he would pay for my first car, my college and my wedding, however he is one of those people that wait until last minute for everything so thats why I only mentioned it once and if he doesn't want to contribute then i'm set with what i can afford and thats why im planning everything based on 2000. Also i we can not save any more per month, besides overtime, which is frowned upon at my job and Sean doesnt get much of if any. Guest list is probably going to be 20-30ish after we decide on who to cut (i would like it to be more towards 20). I have the decor already from both of soon to be sister in laws weddings, I just have to make the center pieces which are free as well. I am not having a registry or guests bring gifts/money. I am even considering cutting out the dress and just wearing a summer dress. I am not doing flowers of any kind, maybe just my own extremely small bouquet. My main priority for my wedding is for the guests to have a good time. I did get some great ideas though, i like the bowling alley idea, never even gave that a thought.

holyguacamole79

Knottie24721711 said:

I just have to make the center pieces which are free as well.

I did DIY centerpieces, thinking it would save me $$.  It didn't.  For something as simple as what you'll be doing, you may not even need centerpieces. 

pineapplesmoothie

I think you have gotten some really great suggestions.  I just want to shout out simply bridal.com for cheap wedding dresses. My budget is 5k and I found a beautiful dress on SB for $99.  It was $200 w alterations, but still only 1/10 of your budget.  (I'm not sure how much of the budget the dress usually is...)

I was surprised that the marriage license in my county in CA was $100.  I think it was $50 when I got married in PA in 2003.

elfenvy

Craigslist for all the random little things that add up so fast. Ask friends for the hands on help or to borrow items you would be buying (chairs, tables, speakers for reception music, etc). Unlike other people, I have been to potluck receptions and they are a blast. I think you have to know your crowd. If everyone's going to expect it to be catered to them and their wishes, keep it really simple. If they are down with contributing their time to help set up or make a dish to share, do it that way. My friends and family would not bat a single eyelash over that.

atlastmrsg

elfenvy said:

Craigslist for all the random little things that add up so fast. Ask friends for the hands on help or to borrow items you would be buying (chairs, tables, speakers for reception music, etc). Unlike other people, I have been to potluck receptions and they are a blast. I think you have to know your crowd. If everyone's going to expect it to be catered to them and their wishes, keep it really simple. If they are down with contributing their time to help set up or make a dish to share, do it that way. My friends and family would not bat a single eyelash over that.

Do not do this.  Hosting guests is not guests bringing a dish.  I would be inclined to decline a potluck wedding invitation, or if I go, just stop by for the ceremony then leave before the reception and go out to dinner.  If it's not important enough for you to host me properly--and catered lasagna, BBQ, other inexpensive options, etc. is properly--I don't need to attend.  Or attend and get food poisoning from something that was prepared improperly or sat out too long.

Viczaesar

elfenvy said:

Craigslist for all the random little things that add up so fast. Ask friends for the hands on help or to borrow items you would be buying (chairs, tables, speakers for reception music, etc). Unlike other people, I have been to potluck receptions and they are a blast. I think you have to know your crowd. If everyone's going to expect it to be catered to them and their wishes, keep it really simple. If they are down with contributing their time to help set up or make a dish to share, do it that way. My friends and family would not bat a single eyelash over that.

Oh, I've been to potluck receptions.  That doesn't make them okay.

khristiana

My fiancé and I are also on a tight budget, seeing how we just bought our first house together, but in the end it turned out great, because we are having our wedding in Las Vegas! We started planning about 1.5 years ago, so things just fell into place. With the dress (omg) and things like that, our budget is about $3500. You can do it!

graciegra

Sounds like with the small number of guests you have that you'll be able to plan a fantastic event on that amount. Some of the things you mentioned will be super small- bouquet for instance you can easily do one for you at a flower shop day of the wedding or even a grocery store and spend less than $50 on. August is a great time for florals so you can probably even get great ones at Trader Joes and just combine 2-3 bunches and be done. 

Just create a game plan for everything and be extra vigilant with the budgeting. 

CaitlinB53015

If you have some sort of backyard space (and live in a place that has appropriate weather), you could totally make that work! If you find a dress you like, who cares if it isn't a marketed wedding dress. If you like it, wear it! If you hosted the wedding in a free space, like a backyard, you could ask close family members (your mom, sisters, aunts) to help make a meal, even if it's a homestyle BBQ or something like that. I know some places offer really affordable table rentals, especially if you only need a few.

I've been to weddings like this, and there's something beautiful about the simplicity. As long as you leave married and happy, all the other details will fall into place.

charlottesmom0626

I know this isn't the snarky board but I'm confused

First: why should you dad have to pay for your wedding? If he didn't offer, you shouldn't ask or "hint"

Second: if you want/need to get married next summer go to the court house, have some nice vows and go to dinner with your new husband. Total cost >$500. Or have friends over for cake and punch after, that's in your budget. 

If you want your dream wedding (as in dress, ceremony, dinner reception, dancing) then you shouldn't have chosen a date but instead decided to start saving until you can afford the party you want.  I'm not saying drop $50 grand on a wedding, but you can't realistically rent a space and host a large number of  guests properly with that budget. DO NOT sacrifice hosting guests. 

Knottie20363977

I'd say elope. Have a beautiful, romantic elopement with pictures like the one featured on theknot.com last week in the mountains. It will save money and it will showcase what's most important; you and your fiance.

Or you could have a very tiny, intimate wedding with <20. Your parents, best friends, and only the people who MUST be there. Everyone else will understand.

Small weddings can be just as beautiful!

[Deleted User]

OP, you sound like you are being very realistic about this. So many people have tiny budgets and still think they "deserve" a huge lavish wedding/reception and they end up cutting corners and being rude to their guests (cash bars, potluck, etc.) in order to accomplish it. I think you really have one decision to make and then everything will fall into place: To elope or not to elope?

If you choose to elope, $2000 could go really really far! You and your FI could do a whole destination package or just run to the courthouse and then take a fabulous vacation!

If you'd rather not elope, $2000 is plenty to host 20 guests. One thing that helps cut costs is time of day. A lunch reception should be cheaper than a dinner reception, ya know? But other posters have given great advice on that as well specifically looking at non-traditional venues.

cambryn

For the number of people you want, and how simply you want this wedding to go- I think that amount should be more than enough.

Very affordable places: check out local parks, museum etc- depending on where you live there might be some hidden gems for hosting. I love that suggestion about the bowling alley- that sounds like so. much. fun!

Time of day: as others said- stick to non meal-times and you can get away with very little in the way of food. Late morning and you can have a bevy of pastries, quiches and mimosas for little. Afternoon and cake and punch! Late night- snacks and drinks- or dry wedding! Lunch- for that few people, many cafes/bistros have great menus of sandwiches salads and soups.

If you do centerpieces: depending on your interests, you could have some of your own items- such as candles books and such. For little money some carnations and baby's breath can make charming centerpieces. The dollar tree has very affordable vases that are actually nice- you'd only need a few for such a small amount of people.

Best of luck! Keep us in the loop on your plans! Non-traditional weddings are the most fun to hear about! 

Any interests you and your fiance share, or particular 'themes' you might be interested in? Perhaps it can give us more ideas that suit you.

KikiMira

If I had your budget, I would be Eloping and doing a fancy sit down meal with your 10-15 closest friends/family. 

My friend owns a videography company they mostly do weddings and this by far my favorite elopement (very classy) video to date - http://www.parfaitweddings.com/blog/miranda-jordan-a-winter-elopement-fairmont-banff-springs-hotel2102014

31315

I dont understand why anyone would say you shouldn't have asked your dad for help. I have been financially independent for a long time, but as part of being a parent, when you have a daughter you should expect to help out with a wedding one day. I understand times a tough bla bla, but the wedding is the last time your parents are supposed to pay for anything, because your husband is taking care of you after you get married. I mean I know a lot of people are not so traditional anymore, personally I was  hinting to my dad several times about helping out but he wanted me to ask him straight up so I finally did. He is paying for most of it now he just wanted a number. I felt bad because I wasn't sure if that was ok, but he wasn't there for most of my life. My mom raised and paid for me, so this was the least he could do. I wasn't going to have him walk me down the aisle if he didn't contribute. Your parents chose to have you so why not help you out on your special day? Even if its just with invitations or flowers or a photographer. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking your dad. But he probably wants you to ask straight up instead of hinting. You have to remember men do not think like us. Most of the time they don't understand hints. 

southernbelle0915

Knottie16866598 said:

I dont understand why anyone would say you shouldn't have asked your dad for help. I have been financially independent for a long time, but as part of being a parent, when you have a daughter you should expect to help out with a wedding one day. I understand times a tough bla bla, but the wedding is the last time your parents are supposed to pay for anything, because your husband is taking care of you after you get married. I mean I know a lot of people are not so traditional anymore, personally I was  hinting to my dad several times about helping out but he wanted me to ask him straight up so I finally did. He is paying for most of it now he just wanted a number. I felt bad because I wasn't sure if that was ok, but he wasn't there for most of my life. My mom raised and paid for me, so this was the least he could do. I wasn't going to have him walk me down the aisle if he didn't contribute. Your parents chose to have you so why not help you out on your special day? Even if its just with invitations or flowers or a photographer. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking your dad. But he probably wants you to ask straight up instead of hinting. You have to remember men do not think like us. Most of the time they don't understand hints. 

To the first bolded, is it the 1940s? Your parents should pay to marry you off because your husband is supposed to take care of you from that point forward?

To the second bolded, that is quite possibly the most manipulative thing I have ever read on TheKnot.

To the last bolded, sexist much?

Overall, this is one of the most bratty, sexist and spoiled posts I've read in a very long time. Congratulations for surprising me when not much does any more.

KatWAG

Knottie16866598 said:

I dont understand why anyone would say you shouldn't have asked your dad for help. I have been financially independent for a long time, but as part of being a parent, when you have a daughter you should expect to help out with a wedding one day. I understand times a tough bla bla, but the wedding is the last time your parents are supposed to pay for anything, because your husband is taking care of you after you get married. I mean I know a lot of people are not so traditional anymore, personally I was  hinting to my dad several times about helping out but he wanted me to ask him straight up so I finally did. He is paying for most of it now he just wanted a number. I felt bad because I wasn't sure if that was ok, but he wasn't there for most of my life. My mom raised and paid for me, so this was the least he could do. I wasn't going to have him walk me down the aisle if he didn't contribute. Your parents chose to have you so why not help you out on your special day? Even if its just with invitations or flowers or a photographer. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking your dad. But he probably wants you to ask straight up instead of hinting. You have to remember men do not think like us. Most of the time they don't understand hints. 

OP, you are a bitch. There is no sense in sugar coating it. That is just awful

Moderator: flag me, report me. do what you have to. This is one of the most entitled posts I have ever seen.

redoryx

Knottie16866598 said:

I dont understand why anyone would say you shouldn't have asked your dad for help. I have been financially independent for a long time, but as part of being a parent, when you have a daughter you should expect to help out with a wedding one day. I understand times a tough bla bla, but the wedding is the last time your parents are supposed to pay for anything, because your husband is taking care of you after you get married. I mean I know a lot of people are not so traditional anymore, personally I was  hinting to my dad several times about helping out but he wanted me to ask him straight up so I finally did. He is paying for most of it now he just wanted a number. I felt bad because I wasn't sure if that was ok, but he wasn't there for most of my life. My mom raised and paid for me, so this was the least he could do. I wasn't going to have him walk me down the aisle if he didn't contribute. Your parents chose to have you so why not help you out on your special day? Even if its just with invitations or flowers or a photographer. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking your dad. But he probably wants you to ask straight up instead of hinting. You have to remember men do not think like us. Most of the time they don't understand hints. 

This entire paragraph is so offensive to men and women, I don't even know where to start.

YOU and YOUR fiancee chose to get married so why not pay for your own special day? 

arrrghmatey

Knottie16866598 said:

I dont understand why anyone would say you shouldn't have asked your dad for help. I have been financially independent for a long time, but as part of being a parent, when you have a daughter you should expect to help out with a wedding one day. I understand times a tough bla bla, but the wedding is the last time your parents are supposed to pay for anything, because your husband is taking care of you after you get married. I mean I know a lot of people are not so traditional anymore, personally I was  hinting to my dad several times about helping out but he wanted me to ask him straight up so I finally did. He is paying for most of it now he just wanted a number. I felt bad because I wasn't sure if that was ok, but he wasn't there for most of my life. My mom raised and paid for me, so this was the least he could do. I wasn't going to have him walk me down the aisle if he didn't contribute. Your parents chose to have you so why not help you out on your special day? Even if its just with invitations or flowers or a photographer. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking your dad. But he probably wants you to ask straight up instead of hinting. You have to remember men do not think like us. Most of the time they don't understand hints. 

The day that my FI/future husband "needs to take care of me" is the day I walk the plank on my own free will.

abbyj700

Knottie16866598 said:

I dont understand why anyone would say you shouldn't have asked your dad for help. I have been financially independent for a long time, but as part of being a parent, when you have a daughter you should expect to help out with a wedding one day. I understand times a tough bla bla, but the wedding is the last time your parents are supposed to pay for anything, because your husband is taking care of you after you get married. I mean I know a lot of people are not so traditional anymore, personally I was  hinting to my dad several times about helping out but he wanted me to ask him straight up so I finally did. He is paying for most of it now he just wanted a number. I felt bad because I wasn't sure if that was ok, but he wasn't there for most of my life. My mom raised and paid for me, so this was the least he could do. I wasn't going to have him walk me down the aisle if he didn't contribute. Your parents chose to have you so why not help you out on your special day? Even if its just with invitations or flowers or a photographer. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking your dad. But he probably wants you to ask straight up instead of hinting. You have to remember men do not think like us. Most of the time they don't understand hints. 

Knottie16866598

PLEASE tell me you aren't always this terrible of a person, that you aren't this sexist and stupid in your every day life.

-Your parents owe you nothing for your wedding special snowflake. I honestly wish your father would have told you no. It would have taught you a valuable lesson to take care of things for yourself like a grown adult. I'm guessing your really young and will learn a lot in the coming years.

-Men are very capable of thinking all by themselves and *gasp* can even take hints. Maybe your husband is just an idiot. Mine apparently could run circles around yours as he can take hints and understand conversations (and rudeness like yours) all by himself.

Seriously...life is going to bite you in the ass. Good luck on your fall. 

levioosa

Knottie16866598 said:

I dont understand why anyone would say you shouldn't have asked your dad for help. I have been financially independent for a long time, but as part of being a parent, when you have a daughter you should expect to help out with a wedding one day. I understand times a tough bla bla, but the wedding is the last time your parents are supposed to pay for anything, because your husband is taking care of you after you get married. I mean I know a lot of people are not so traditional anymore, personally I was  hinting to my dad several times about helping out but he wanted me to ask him straight up so I finally did. He is paying for most of it now he just wanted a number. I felt bad because I wasn't sure if that was ok, but he wasn't there for most of my life. My mom raised and paid for me, so this was the least he could do. I wasn't going to have him walk me down the aisle if he didn't contribute. Your parents chose to have you so why not help you out on your special day? Even if its just with invitations or flowers or a photographer. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking your dad. But he probably wants you to ask straight up instead of hinting. You have to remember men do not think like us. Most of the time they don't understand hints. 

This is one of the most entitled things I have ever seen here.  

No one owes you anything monetary once you are an adult.  You're making the adult decision to get married, so you should be doing the adult thing and paying for it.  I'm not even going to touch the incredibly sexist comments.  

Grow the fuck up.  

ETA:  You're an awful person.  

wrigleyville

LOL. I make more money than my husband, and I give my parents money to help them out, not the other way around.

It's called being an adult instead of a spoiled, bratty princess.

esstee33

Knottie16866598 said:

I dont understand why anyone would say you shouldn't have asked your dad for help. I have been financially independent for a long time, but as part of being a parent, when you have a daughter you should expect to help out with a wedding one day. I understand times a tough bla bla, but the wedding is the last time your parents are supposed to pay for anything, because your husband is taking care of you after you get married. I mean I know a lot of people are not so traditional anymore, personally I was  hinting to my dad several times about helping out but he wanted me to ask him straight up so I finally did. He is paying for most of it now he just wanted a number. I felt bad because I wasn't sure if that was ok, but he wasn't there for most of my life. My mom raised and paid for me, so this was the least he could do. I wasn't going to have him walk me down the aisle if he didn't contribute. Your parents chose to have you so why not help you out on your special day? Even if its just with invitations or flowers or a photographer. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking your dad. But he probably wants you to ask straight up instead of hinting. You have to remember men do not think like us. Most of the time they don't understand hints. 

Wow, seriously? What the fuck is wrong with you? 

Also, what if OP's parents actually didn't choose to have her? What if she was an accident? Should her parents not be "required" to pay for her wedding then? 

Also also, hahahahaha "just" flowers or a photographer. You do realize those can be several thousand dollars, right? But, oh, they should just expect that since they had a daughter that they'll be required to shell out thousands of dollars so she can act like an entitled little princess, right?