Did you ask his opinion?

tammym1001

I already knew DH hates me in empire waist dresses, but luckily I had no intention of picking a gown with an empire waist. I didn't ask him, but before I went shopping he implied that he would rather not have me wear a big poofy ballgown. I tried on a couple anyways, but I felt silly in them. The dress I originally had my eye on wasn't a ballgown anyways and it was the one I ended up buying.

VulgarGirl

Wifey helped me pick my dress, I helped her pick her suit outfit too. She was the one who told me to wear red if I wanted to wear red, and I told her to wear pants if she didn't want to wear a dress.

nicole4793

I showed my FI a few dresses of all different styles and asked what he thought of them. The only one he didn't care for was a ballgown, which I wasn't even considering anyway. I just wanted to get a feel for what he would absolutely hate. It helped reassure me when I went dress shopping that he would love how I look in it and made me feel even more beautiful. It's not all about what the groom thinks, but it definitely helped me to commit to a dress. He has no idea what I picked or even the style, so it'll still be a surprise if you try to see what your FI likes or dislikes. But to each his own!

climbingsingle

atlastmrsg said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

No, I did not ask his opinion. I picked out what I liked. Same with his tux. He picked out what he liked. 

pearlluo said:

Yes, I did ask him!He always said I have a poor ability to choose the perfect outfit for me.So he always give suggests on me when we go dress shopping!

And this is sad. 

Agree--sad for the most part. BUT....

I always take my husband along for jeans shopping.  He picks way better jeans than I do.  Ones that are a hair tighter than I'd pick, so when I wear them in, they don't turn droopy.  And the saleswomen at Nordstrom tend to dote over him and bring him things like coffee or beer.  What can I say, he likes that junk in the trunk...  But wedding dress and jeans shopping are apples and oranges.

I can totally understand getting his opinion. I've taken H shopping with my many times. "Do you like this jeans? Do they make my thighs look big?" But to have him tell me I don't know how to dress myself, or to pick out clothes only based on what I think he's going to like - that's insane to me. Just this weekend I was in the Kohl's dressing room, and there was a woman next to me trying on dresses. Her SO was waiting outside for her, and she was showing him each dress. "Do you like this? Do you like it on me? I'm only getting if it you tell me you like it." WTF. How about you just buy something YOU like? 

amelisha

ClimbingBrideNY said:

atlastmrsg said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

No, I did not ask his opinion. I picked out what I liked. Same with his tux. He picked out what he liked. 

pearlluo said:

Yes, I did ask him!He always said I have a poor ability to choose the perfect outfit for me.So he always give suggests on me when we go dress shopping!

And this is sad. 

Agree--sad for the most part. BUT....

I always take my husband along for jeans shopping.  He picks way better jeans than I do.  Ones that are a hair tighter than I'd pick, so when I wear them in, they don't turn droopy.  And the saleswomen at Nordstrom tend to dote over him and bring him things like coffee or beer.  What can I say, he likes that junk in the trunk...  But wedding dress and jeans shopping are apples and oranges.

I can totally understand getting his opinion. I've taken H shopping with my many times. "Do you like this jeans? Do they make my thighs look big?" But to have him tell me I don't know how to dress myself, or to pick out clothes only based on what I think he's going to like - that's insane to me. Just this weekend I was in the Kohl's dressing room, and there was a woman next to me trying on dresses. Her SO was waiting outside for her, and she was showing him each dress. "Do you like this? Do you like it on me? I'm only getting if it you tell me you like it." WTF. How about you just buy something YOU like? 

Maybe she's like me and hates everything? I'm only kidding a little bit. When I shop alone I never buy anything because I decide everything looks awful. I need my fiance or a friend to tell me to just buy the thing already.

esstee33

amelisha said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

atlastmrsg said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

No, I did not ask his opinion. I picked out what I liked. Same with his tux. He picked out what he liked. 

pearlluo said:

Yes, I did ask him!He always said I have a poor ability to choose the perfect outfit for me.So he always give suggests on me when we go dress shopping!

And this is sad. 

Agree--sad for the most part. BUT....

I always take my husband along for jeans shopping.  He picks way better jeans than I do.  Ones that are a hair tighter than I'd pick, so when I wear them in, they don't turn droopy.  And the saleswomen at Nordstrom tend to dote over him and bring him things like coffee or beer.  What can I say, he likes that junk in the trunk...  But wedding dress and jeans shopping are apples and oranges.

I can totally understand getting his opinion. I've taken H shopping with my many times. "Do you like this jeans? Do they make my thighs look big?" But to have him tell me I don't know how to dress myself, or to pick out clothes only based on what I think he's going to like - that's insane to me. Just this weekend I was in the Kohl's dressing room, and there was a woman next to me trying on dresses. Her SO was waiting outside for her, and she was showing him each dress. "Do you like this? Do you like it on me? I'm only getting if it you tell me you like it." WTF. How about you just buy something YOU like? 

Maybe she's like me and hates everything? I'm only kidding a little bit. When I shop alone I never buy anything because I decide everything looks awful. I need my fiance or a friend to tell me to just buy the thing already.

Except that's not how she phrased it. The way she worded it was basically that he thinks she's shitty at picking out her own clothes, which is awful. 

chibiyui

I think I asked if there were any styles he wanted me to stay away from, but I can't remember what he said. I bought a dress I loved and figured if he didn't like it he'd have the sense to not say anything.

hellohkb

It's getting close to where I need to start looking for dresses. I've been showing dresses and asking FH what he likes and doesn't like but I'm going to stop. He doesn't really care and he also doesn't care for the types of dresses I gravitate towards (dramatic skirts, mostly. Like the Maggie Sottero Adalee). So I am just going to pick the dress I like and feel my best in. At the end of the day, it's not going to matter because he's not going to be looking at your dress, he's going to be looking at you.

And FWIW, I'm not going to have a say in what he wears either. He likes some really eccentric suits, too. We saw a wedding where a man wore a suit with rainbow polka dots and he went nuts because he loves it. He's going to wear bright blue oxfords. If that's what he feels great in, so be it!

rnsoon

Maggie0829 said:

houndpuppy1 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

No, I did not ask his opinion. I picked out what I liked. Same with his tux. He picked out what he liked. 

pearlluo said:

Yes, I did ask him!He always said I have a poor ability to choose the perfect outfit for me.So he always give suggests on me when we go dress shopping!

And this is sad. 

I have no words.



But, when the time comes, I will probably ask opinions before I go, and my mom will be going with me. Not engaged yet so I won't be going anytime soon. Just curious about what everyone else did I know I definitely will not be taking him with me.

@esstee33‌ - That is a perfect response from him!

@Maggie0829‌ - I understand where you're coming from and I agree mostly, but I view it as both of your day and I'm sure I will have input on what he wears, whether he goes with what I say or not, so why not have his opinion? Just something to think about.

@houndpuppy1 - Yes it is both of your days BUT you are the one having to wear the dress, not him.  Same with him and his outfit.  Why do you feel it is necessary to get his opinion on something that you have to wear and love?  I mean, do you ask him about every single outfit you put on every day?  I doubt that.  Coming to an agreement about food and decor and who to invite is one thing, but attire should be your choice and yours alone.


Take a chill pill, lol. I literally said "just curious about what everyone did", as well as mentioning that I would not allow not want him to pick my dress. Not a topic to get so serious about. ;-)

rnsoon

chibiyui said:

I think I asked if there were any styles he wanted me to stay away from, but I can't remember what he said. I bought a dress I loved and figured if he didn't like it he'd have the sense to not say anything.

This is the kind of answer I was looking for I guess, lol. Thanks for input!

Again, literally just curious! I need things to occupy my mind to keep from going crazy on deployment.
:-)

erinlin25

my H wanted to go dress shopping with me and was bummed at first that I did not want him to go dress shopping with me, let alone see the dress until the wedding day.  So as a "compromise" of some sort we looked at some dresses together (magazines and online) and he would watch syttd every now and then while I was watching . He is never afraid to give his honest opinion, which I appreciated.  He did not like big ball gowns or anything with feathers (not my style anyway) and he also did like the true mermaid dresses (again, not my style).  As any good H (FI at the time) he of course told me he would love anything I wore that day.   He loved my dress, and ended up liking the fact that he did not see it until I walked down the aisle.

lovesclimbing

Yes, I asked his opinion.  Basically, the things he didn't like (those skirts that look like they're made of strips of fabric, huge and poofy, strapless) were all things I didn't like either.  I sent him pictures of my top two dresses (not on me, I ordered online) to him and asked his opinion.  If I recall correctly, he didn't say either way but said both were pretty.

I cared about what he thought because I want him to like what I wear. Yes, I still do buy some things I know he's not a huge fan of (I'm wearing a striped shirt right now, and he REALLY doesn't like stripes). 

I also give input on what he wears and some of the clothes he buys.  And I did have input on his wedding clothes as well.

Sugargirl1019

We looked online at Maggie Sottero dresses and he commented on what he thought was beautiful. Then he found one dress and said it was the most beautiful dress he had ever seen. I tried to find that dress in stores. But nobody had it because it was too old. I tried on dresses similar to it but felt it was missing something until my sister pulled out a non Maggie Sottero dress with a similar beaded diamond accent under the bust line. I cried and it was it.

It threw him off when I told him I did not buy a Maggie Sottero. He didn't want to know what I bought, but this confused him even more.

The dress was exactly perfect and it was more beautiful to me because I knew he would find it perfect too.

rnsoon

Sugargirl1019 said:

We looked online at Maggie Sottero dresses and he commented on what he thought was beautiful. Then he found one dress and said it was the most beautiful dress he had ever seen. I tried to find that dress in stores. But nobody had it because it was too old. I tried on dresses similar to it but felt it was missing something until my sister pulled out a non Maggie Sottero dress with a similar beaded diamond accent under the bust line. I cried and it was it.

It threw him off when I told him I did not buy a Maggie Sottero. He didn't want to know what I bought, but this confused him even more.

The dress was exactly perfect and it was more beautiful to me because I knew he would find it perfect too.

That's the good part about asking his opinion! It made it so much more special to you I'm glad it worked out well for you! BTW I LOVE Maggie Sottero. I've been drooling over her dresses for years, lol.

rnsoon

lovesclimbing said:

Yes, I asked his opinion.  Basically, the things he didn't like (those skirts that look like they're made of strips of fabric, huge and poofy, strapless) were all things I didn't like either.  I sent him pictures of my top two dresses (not on me, I ordered online) to him and asked his opinion.  If I recall correctly, he didn't say either way but said both were pretty.

I cared about what he thought because I want him to like what I wear. Yes, I still do buy some things I know he's not a huge fan of (I'm wearing a striped shirt right now, and he REALLY doesn't like stripes). 

I also give input on what he wears and some of the clothes he buys.  And I did have input on his wedding clothes as well.

I completely agree with you! It's not like you lose independence and your "self" when you ask the opinion of the person you're marrying if he likes a certain thing or not!

I plan on having an input as well. I mean...he is not walking down the aisle in mesh shorts and a t shirt from bass pro which is probably what he would wear if he could, lol!

Maggie0829

rnsoon said:

houndpuppy1 said:

No, I did not ask his opinion. I picked out what I liked. Same with his tux. He picked out what he liked. 

pearlluo said:

Yes, I did ask him!He always said I have a poor ability to choose the perfect outfit for me.So he always give suggests on me when we go dress shopping!

And this is sad. 

I have no words. But, when the time comes, I will probably ask opinions before I go, and my mom will be going with me. Not engaged yet so I won't be going anytime soon. Just curious about what everyone else did I know I definitely will not be taking him with me. @esstee33‌ - That is a perfect response from him! @Maggie0829‌ - I understand where you're coming from and I agree mostly, but I view it as both of your day and I'm sure I will have input on what he wears, whether he goes with what I say or not, so why not have his opinion? Just something to think about.

@houndpuppy1 - Yes it is both of your days BUT you are the one having to wear the dress, not him.  Same with him and his outfit.  Why do you feel it is necessary to get his opinion on something that you have to wear and love?  I mean, do you ask him about every single outfit you put on every day?  I doubt that.  Coming to an agreement about food and decor and who to invite is one thing, but attire should be your choice and yours alone.

Take a chill pill, lol. I literally said "just curious about what everyone did", as well as mentioning that I would not allow not want him to pick my dress. Not a topic to get so serious about. ;-)

Really?  My response wasn't even directed to you and trust me that I am completely "chill."

novella1186

Not really. I had some bridal magazines that I'd look through and every so often he'd look over my shoulder and say "that dress is weird." Or I'd see one I really didn't like and comment on it, and he'd say "yeah that's not pretty." So I had a general idea of what he didn't like, which was good cuz it was exactly the same as what I didn't like. Other than that, it's my dress, my choice  

lilacck28

Pre-dress shopping I was super annoying and showed him a ton of pictures of dresses online, and I made him tell me if he liked them or didn't like them. Most dresses I showed him he had no opinion, a few he didn't like, and a few he did. The ones he didn't like were usually dresses I also did not like (aka, over the top blingy, very ruffled skirts), and the ones he did like were usually my favorites. I guess we have the same style.

The only thing we disagreed on was I like the look of long sleeves while he wasn't overly fond of them. But that didn't matter since we decided to get married at the end of May. I might have gotten long sleeves anyway if I was obsessed with that look, but I liked knowing his opinion. And I kind of enjoyed torturing him... he got all cute and whiny.

penguin44

I didn't ask him. I picked a dress that I loved. 

After I bought my dress, I did send him pictures of the most hideous dresses I could find and told him they were similar to the one I got. Haha. I got my dress almost a year in advance, so I did this for a while... He must really love me. 

lacqueredlover

No.  It's my dress, I'm wearing it, like he's told me every step of the way with planning our wedding, he's just happy to be marrying me, everything else is just details.

I won't tell him what kind of suit or tux to get either.  We both are good at dressing ourselves.  We do it every day

theartistformerlyknownas

@amelisha‌ I refuse to believe you don't look stunning in everything.

Knottie30291358

Generally speaking, guys go for silhouettes and broad types, with a focus on fit, appropriateness, flattery, and social markers (preppy, ivy, guido, et cetera) because that's how menswear works. Pictures of some model won't really help. Show him an infographic outlining the general types and features of dresses, however, and you'll get very strong opinions. For example, my fiancee and I have agreed that the best look considering body type and taste would be a full skirt, basque waist, and some coverage on arms and/or shoulders, and disagreement on whether a full-on princess/ball would be over the top/too full and the relative merits of the high/mandarin collar versus the classic '50's combo of sweetheart and sheer "bib."

[Deleted User]

I didn't ask but I remember telling him onice that I was considering a pantsmall suit (not true as I think I'd look awful in one) and he was pretry against it.

[Deleted User]

I've been married twice. I knew my ex for 5 years before we married and my current husband for a year before we married. I knew what each of them found me attractive in and I kept that in mind when I went dress shopping.On the otherhand, my niece who is getting married on December 21 and my daughter who is getting married in 2016 are getting whatever they feel beautiful in and didn't ask as the men don't have strong opinions about their dresses anyway.

flyingfoxes

Nope.